Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Feeding my spirit.

Posted 4-29-07:

Yesterday, I photographed again!
It was another amazing experience! I feel SO good after I take a bunch of pictures. Why? I truly believe I am feeding my spirit, the true essence of what make me a creative man. I have repressed it for SO long, I want to let it out.

So, how often do I take pictures? This month, twice. I could have gone out more often, but the weather wasn't so great (rain), and I had other obligations to attend to. Am I going to take more pictures today, since it is nice outside? Nope. I feel I have to work with the ones I took yesterday before I go any further. I have to see if what I took was good and if my settings were good.
I do know I want to get some filters for my camera and I know where to get a WHOLE bunch of them. My sister's hubby is a professional photographer and is well known and published, i.e. Got Milk? ads. Not some of the recent ones, but he helped start it off in the early days. Anyways, he has a tube full of them and he wants to give them to me.

I got to wondering why he would do that, and it dawned upon me that he Photoshops his images to get the look he wants. It's no difference to me as such things are common. I just want to reduce the work at the computer. I'm good with Photoshop, I just don't want to be in front of this infernal monster...known as a PC. Now, more than ever, I want a Mac because that way, it can be used as a TOOL and not a personal entertainment device.

Have a shwanky day!

I did something new today...

Posted 4-26-07:

Today, I actually cared.
I cared about the trials people are facing and experiencing.
I cared about the joys they are experiencing.
I cared for them. I have done it in the past, but it has been awhile since I really did it. You know what? I accomplished more today than I EVER thought and it felt GOOD!

I also got apple slices with my meal deal from Scrubway (Subway to the unknowing). Now THAT is something completely new! Will I do it again? No. A price of $1.60 for 6 tiny pieces of apple is NOT a deal.

Will that stop me from eating right? Nope.

Have a schwanky day!

Make a change.

Posted 4-25-07:

Tomorrow...I will do ONE thing different. To me, it has to be ONE completely different thing. Not something I include once in awhile in my pattern of life, but something out of the ordinary.

I won't think further on that as I want to leave that up to God to decide. I know He'll pop a note in my head for something completely different!

So, what one thing are YOU going to do tomorrow? I ask this as some people have to think about such stuff. Now, I'm not talking about some huge grand poobah of a different thing, but some THING different.

Valentines...

Posted 2-14-07:

Bah shumbug! Actually, I was prepared to make bumper stickers on how much I hate Valentines Day...being single accentuates that. But, someone gave me something and you know what? I was appreciative of it! It melted that anti-Valentines wax fort I made!

Thanks Sue! You're a beautiful woman and I hope God places a wonderful man in your life. You do so much to achieve your goals, far more than I seen anyone else!
(Sue is much older than me, but is truly beautiful and youthful of heart).

Something To Say Something

Posted 2-13-07:

So, what am I going to write about... Hmmmm, well... I sent an email to some friends and I mentioned in it that they are nuts about each other, yet, I added a little something to that line; "they are nuts and gravel about each other."

"Nuts and Gravel." That is crazy, but oddly funny to me. I mean, you can be nuts about someone, but nuts can be eaten. Add in gravel and you have something special on your hands, because gravel is everywhere! There are lots of nuts, but many more bits of gravel. So, ever wanted to be nuts and gravel about someone? Think about it.

I Am Seeking...

Posted 2-7-07 on another website:

A most beautiful woman.
So what is beauty to me? Beauty is mostly heart, with a dash of pretty. She doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous, she just needs to be pretty, even a little. Most of the time, weight doesn't bother me. And she also must be willing to let me see her heart, and that is the most critical.
I won't accept all hearts as some might be on paths that aren't compatible to mine. We both must be in the same race, pulling the same load and loving the same God with all our hearts first, before each other. This is what I seek.

Again, what is beauty to me? I feel that is subjective and fluid. A heart is hard to explore in a woman because it is complex and fathomless.

Judgmentalism

Posted 2-5-07 on another website:

Excuse me? Are you judgmental? No? So, you've never been judgmental in your life? OH? You're perfect? Well, excuse me! You must think you're god. Excuse me while I talk to the Real God and let Him know His cousin is here!

I feel everyone is judgmental in some way or another. I try not to be. Am I perfect? NOOOOOOOOO! I am not. So don't hold me to some stupid perfect idealistic level, because I will disappoint you! Also, don't be some sort of hypocrite either and say "Non-Christians aren't judgmental" that is bullshit...Oh, did I cuss? Yes, because there really isn't a better word to describe it. Non-Christians are just as bad as anyone. So don't be holier than thou with yourself.

I Have Joined...

Posted 1-19-07 on another website:

I am now a part of the iPod people...

Ummmm, it's a nice musical tool. Feels well in my hand and it works- once you figure out you have to feed iTunes a song or two for it to work.

Stats:
4 GB iPod Nano Silver
Nothing serious. I just needed it for work as I travel to remote areas of Kansas- where radio isn't the flavor I prefer.
NOTE 5-30-07: Sound quality isn't as good as I would expect it to be. My Zen Nano had a much richer sound. The iPod Nano has a 24hr battery, which is the only reason why I got it.

TODAY!

Posted 1-14-07 on another website:

Today, for the first time ever, I BELIEVE in ME!

Enemies

Posted 12-9-06 on another website:

So, we are Enemies? Some of you will be significant enemies, others just "minor" enemies.
So, what makes you an enemy? Is it because of our views?
Or is it because I'm a Christian?

I think it is that.

Let me put it like this, do you love? I mean, do you love yourself, family members, and people? Do you hate injustice? Do you want to see people treated fairly? Do you want to experience life and enjoy it?

So do I.

So what is that different between us? Human complexity and our own selfish desires (no matter who you are, we are all selfish one way or another). Self interests and goals that can only affect us. Desire to be something, no matter what. Craving things that we can never get or if we do, it will be at extreme cost. Wanting it all. And for what purpose? Keeping up with the Joneses? Out doing each other? How about us falling for the ad-man's lies?

We are crushing ourselves. I know I was. I'm not perfect and that sort of life about destroyed me. Actually, it about killed me. Sure, it was fun for awhile, but at what cost? I lost it all and to be open about it, good riddance! Freedom is insanely awesome!

So, what does this have to do with me being a Christian? Being a Christian doesn't mean your life will be better. Most will not see any difference in life. BUT, what you are given is eternal life with a Being that is infinitely humorous, infinitely loving, and infinitely wants to live life with you. No matter what you've done, are doing or will ever do. No matter what, He loves you.

Does being a Christian require you to be perfect? No! You can NEVER be perfect and the other Christians around you aren't perfect either. We are all human and have a sinful nature, so we are bound to make errors, commit sin, etc.

So, why are we enemies?

An Adventure To Share.

Posted 12-4-06 on another website:
I am not sure if I have an adventure to share with a woman.
I mean, yet.
But that is dependent if I get off my duff to do something.
There are lots of things I want to do, but I have a kryptonite flaw;
I hate being alone.
So I want to share an adventure, but yet the adventure hasn't been made.

Oh, the Catch-22 of the whole thing! I guess I just need to do something, regardless if I have someone in my life or not.
To be more correct, I should care more about my own life than wait for someone to show up. Honestly, I hate being alone. I also hate feeling like unused cottage cheese.

Yeah, you know, cottage cheese? That stuff you buy and only use some of the container and forget about it in the fridge. Only a part of me is being used and the rest is rotting away.

I just have to leave it up to God to direct me. I just have to go in a direction to start the whole process. I hate failure, I hate being alone, and my ego is about as fragile as crystal, and everyone in the world has a hammer waiting to break it.

Actually, I have a very small ego and low confidence. I don't care if you know this or not. I just want to be me and not some plastic/fake person who's head is about as clear as glass and you can see the gears turning. As I've said before; if there is something I don't like, you'll know.

Czarina Is Dead To Me.

Posted 12-1-06 on another website:

My past is my past I cannot change it.
Czarina killed the relationship because she was a hypocrite.
She is dead to me
Yet she haunts my mind and will not let me be.
Why must I be tormented by this person
Can I not live a life free from her prison?
The chains of guilt and oppression was removed
The day You died on that cross after being abused.

I AM FREE, she has broken the covenant
I cannot be held guilty for her being malevolent.
The devil has no claim on this act
Because I know what are lies and fact.

She is dead to me
And the One who created me has set me free.
NOTE 2-12-07: This is no longer the case anymore as I have moved past this and look forward to a new and bright future!

Thinking of You.

Posted 12-1-06 on another website:

(This is not a poem, but a mental reflection upon my thoughts to Someone very important to me)
You.
That is what I thought of today.
You.
My mind flew around because I had lots of time to think, but always it came back to...
You.
You are my shield when I am assaulted relentlessly.
You are my sword when I attack back.
You are my armor to deflect the blows I miss.
You care for me because You know my heart.
You.
Strangely, I thought You were going to visit tonight.
But I should have know better, because Your entrance would have been more grander.
Thank You for removing me from a life of pain.
Thank You for removing me from a life of abuse.
Thank You for loving me and dying for me.
I know I cannot live without You and I need You on a moment by moment basis.

You know who You are and I will give my life to You.
Amen.

What Am I?

Posted 11-30-06 on another website:

Another day.
But today, it was cold and an ice storm is visiting KC.
Then again, that is normal at least once or twice every couple of years.
I enjoy them.
Others hate them.

Even though I have had some wrecks in these storms.
I still find them beautiful, with respect.

So, while waiting for the day to end- dentists don't like bad weather either- I started looking at things.
Bored, I was browsing around and found my coworker's previous browsing.
He is a MySpace junkie.
So decided to see if someone was still on there.

Sure enough, I found them.
I will not mention this individual by name, except by the term Czarina.
I guess that gives the sex away, but I will not confirm it.
I once had a life with Czarina.
But that life is a distant memory of reflection, correction, pain, and abuse.

Reading about Czarina, seeing photos, and glimpsing this person's life again, made me realize something- There is a God.
God answered my prayers for Czarina. This person's life is back on track, making (I guess) lots-o-money, in a new relationship, and what else? Happiness.

Czarina is happy.

That was all I prayed for. Does it make me happy? In a way, yes.

It's That Simple

Posted 11-02-06 on another website:
Do you know what it means to be a Christian?
Not the way some closed minded pastor told you. Nor is it the way some fool of a "know-it-all" person, who is a fulltime hypocrite, would say.

Being a Christian doesn't mean a religion. It's a relationship. You don't have to give up anything to become a Christian, unless you want to. No one can make you nor can they tell you to give up something. Only you can decide.

How do you become a Christian? Easy. Understand that we are all imperfect and are sinners. We all fall short of the glory of God. We are all worthy of death and complete seperation from God. But, God loves us and because of that great love, He sent His Son to earth to pay the price for our sins. He loves us so much, His Son, Jesus, was nailed to a cross and died, but was raised from the dead after three days once the price was paid in full.

So, what does that leave you? Because Jesus accepts us with all of our faults, we are to accept Him in all of His perfection. Accept Him without restriction as your Lord and personal Saviour, and He will accept you as a long lost child that was found. Reguardless of what you have done, are doing now, or will ever do, Jesus will accept you. And all...and I mean this...ALL OF YOUR SINS WILL BE WIPED AWAY AND COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN! And because you are free of sin, you are guaranteed eternal life with the God of the universe, who created everything...Not to mention, you get to experience His awesome sense of humor!

Think about it.