Marriage.

My friends got married. The wedding was very beautiful and the kids are great! They are perfect for each other. I pray for the best for them!

That is something that I want to talk about. The joining of a man and a woman into one. Jesus said in Mark 10:6-8 "In the original creation, God made male and female to be together. Because of this, a man leaves the father and mother, and in marriage he becomes one flesh with a woman--no longer two individuals, but forming a new unity." (MSG)

My views on this will push me into rightwing territory. I don't condone gay marriage. Sure, whatever they do on their own time is up to them, but I don't think they should have the same legal rights as child producing couples. I mean, Jesus made it plain, "...God made male and female to be together." People claim marriage is a man created thing, its not. Sure, there are lots of legal aspects to it, but what doesn't have something legal attached to it anymore. Marriage was created by God to signify to others: this man and this woman belong to each other and no one else. If you really look into the logic of this, God was a master. By declaring man to marry, this would help reduce disease, unwanted pregnancies, and hosts of other little things. It also holds the man and woman accountable for any children they might produce.

The Lord loves children. We are His children and He gives us the gift of bearing and raising children. Homosexually doesn't produce children, unless they adopt or use artificial insemination. Now, do I hate gays?
No.
Will I go and yell in their faces that God hates them?
No, because nowhere does it say God Hates Homosexuals. He hates the act, not the person.
I have a shocker for anyone who reads this, Jesus loves gays! He also loves prostitutes (Luke 7:36-48), adulterers ( John 8:1-11), tax people(Mark 2:13-14, Luke 19:1-10), even people who live together unmarried (John 4:1-20). He loves each of us and wants an independent relationship with you. He just doesn't love the sin in our lives.

Jesus modeled the way for us on how we are to treat each other. And that way is with Love. His love. As for condemning a gay person, I prefer to let them find that out themselves, because what they are going through is between God and them. I can only point out what the Word says and they can figure it out on their own. Remember what I said in my previous post about watering a plant? The same applies here.

As for my designs on marriage, I miss it. I miss the near constant conversations. I really don't like to be alone. I almost crave being around people now. I know the more I am with people, the less I am to focus on myself. I have let the Lord know my feelings on this matter, and as usual, I was very open; I hate it! But, there is nothing I can do about it. There aren't many women out there that can date a man who is poor. So, all I can do is leave it up to the Lord to figure out. The best answer I get, "You'll have a wife that will make all men envious and she will make you feel like a king!" Whoa!

-My Lord and King, who rules over everything. I thank You for the gift of seeing a true wedding with You in mind. I thank You for the words of love and encouragement the couple gave to each other. I thank You for the love and promises they gave to each others children. Lord, that wedding wasn't about the joining of two people, but of joining two families! I pray those kids are kept in Your light and they are raised under Your guidance. Lord, I also pray for the homeless in Kansas City tonight. With temperatures reaching single digits, the cold will be deadly! I pray for space for them at the homeless shelters or with people who have warmth. Help them survive and to get food. Thank You Lord for giving me the chance to work with a homeless feeding program today and I look forward to help more in the future! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

This world hates me.

In John 15:18-19 Jesus says, "If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me. If you lived on the world's terms, the world would love you as one of its own. But since I picked you to live on God's terms and no longer on the world's terms, the world is going to hate you." (MSG)

I have decided this world hates me. People talk about how Christians are judgmental and hypocrites, while I have news for them: so are they. I have contacted dating sites to see if someone would just talk with me and no one does, even though they too are wanting to talk to people. I have sent messages to others, not even talking about God and they don't write back. Are they judging me? I think they are.

They must be thinking, "what a bore I must be", or "I bet he is going to push Christ on me." You know, I am not a "push-a-man". It is one thing to share with someone about the Lord, but I don't push. There are so many Christians out there that push Christ, when they should wait and see if those people need Christ. Sure, we should try to save people, but not to the point of pushing them away from Him. Even the Lord knew there are points to a persons acceptance of His Message. Jesus usually talked once about His Message and then let it sink in. I mean, if we want to water a plant, do we pour gallons of water on it to make sure it has enough? No. We pour little amounts of water into it's pot and let it soak and sink in before we add more. That is how we should share the Lord's message.

So what is to become of me and this worldly hatred? As Jesus said in John 15:20, "...Servants don't get better treatment than their masters. If they beat on me, then will certainly beat on you..." The "me" side feels like it's not cut out for this. The "Christ" side says, "Bring it on!" You know, thinking back upon this life I have lived, I can experience a lot more than most people can ever or will ever encounter. My life has been hard, but not super insanely hard. I don't know... I seem to be really calm about the most difficult things in my life and get worked up over burnt toast. I mean, I had gone into a "red rage" once over hot food I had purchased that went cold because I wasn't able to eat it. Yet, I have experienced some pretty difficult problems with a lot more composure.

But (and there always is a "but" with me), I have a God who is shaping me to be something. I don't know what and many times I just try to "be calm" about the whole thing. God wants me.

I had read an email I got from Ephesians Four Ministries talking about God's multiple Joseph's. The man who writes the message has had a very similar life to mine. And these messages seem to speak to me about what to expect from life and what I am to expect in the future and what the Lord expects from me. Sorry to diverge... God's multiple Joseph's exposed part of the Lord's plan to me.
God is raising multiple "Josephs" all over the world. These men are doing the work of the Lord in incredible places with huge success. I feel I am a Joseph and the Lord is shaping me to do some important work in the future. I know the Lord isn't in a hurry, but I do sense a little urgency in things that I didn't or should have done in the past. You see, the Lord is taking me back to a point before my marriage. He is resetting me for His will and purposes. I do know this, life is going to get a lot harder for me and I just pray for the strength and courage to make it through the whole experience.

On another note, two friends of mine are getting married tomorrow. They are both very loving parents and put the Lord first in their lives. They are great people and I pray the Lord will keep the marriage strong and their love for each other burning hot! They also dated in a biblical manner; no sex, little kissing, and very little other "unassuming things" (which most of us wouldn't consider to be sexually driven, but really are). Right now, all I can say is they can hardly wait to be alone... ;)

-Lord, I pray this night is peaceful for my friends who are getting married. I pray that all equipment works tomorrow, all kids are will behaved, and everyone has an enjoyable time. Lord, bless their marriage with joy, peace, passion and love. I also pray for Your awesome courage to continue with this "holding" pattern I am in. If You want me for a modern day Joseph, then us me as Your will desires. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

The God that I follow.

I had a conversation with someone that felt we all worshiped the same god. Because all religions have the same basic principles: be good, be nice, do good works and you will get into heaven. A friend that was with me, who is a carnal Christian, agreed. I just stayed quiet.

Why did I stay quiet? I wanted to think about this further and compare it to what I know about the Lord. I am a very purposeful thinker and will ponder things very deeply, and this was one of those moments. Finally, I have an answer. My God is not your god.

Now, is this one of those exclusive religious statements that Christians make that tick everyone off? No. Because my God is the same God of the Jews. I am still trying to figure out if the God of Islam is the same and that will take some time to figure out. I do know that the god of Buddhists is not the same god.
Here's why:

• Buddhists like to have faith in people.
  
• They feel that good works will get them into heaven.
• They feel that being good and nice will get them into heaven.
• They also believe in reincarnation.

The Lord is clear on this:

• He wants us to depend on Him. We are to have faith in Him.
• We don't have to perform good works for ourselves, but let the good work glorify Him.
• We don't have to be good, but let the goodness of the Lord fill our lives.
• And we only get one chance to live on earth, but after that, if we truly love the Lord and want to be with Him, we will go to Him and live a life of joy, peace and utter contentment.

Here are the holes I see in Buddhism:

• Having faith in people is like the blind leading the blind. Everyone, in some sort or another is selfish. Everyone is some what greedy. Everyone lies to some degree or another.
• I wrote about Good Works vs Grace so I won't repeat it.
• It is impossible to be good because only one person has ever done that and He was Jesus. Why? The moment you are selfish or lie or not kind, you aren't good.
• What joy and happiness is there in reincarnation? Why would anyone want to experience another hard life or war or famine? When you die, shouldn't you want to experience peace and joy? Which leads to another thing....
• Heaven is perfect and if only good works and being good get you in, then heaven would be empty. Only by the grace of God and accepting Him unconditionally will someone ever enter heaven. A heaven full of imperfect Buddhists would be just like living on earth. But a heaven full of imperfect believers, that have been cleaned by the blood of the Lamb (meaning all sin is removed) would be perfect.

The same truth can be said of Hinduism, Taoism and any other religion. We can never be good because being good means being perfect. The moment you do a bad thing, you aren't good any more. Sure, you can try to ask forgiveness from your god, but does it require some sort of payment to remove your sin? I don't mean via money, but in a form of punishment? Many religions require this to remove the sin in your life. Others have you chant liturgical verses that have no honest open heart value to them. Jesus paid the price for each one of us. He paid it for you. He paid it for me. But He didn't paid for all of us in a group. Literally, He paid for our sins individually.

-Lord, today, I pray for my friends who struggle with this thought. If I am not to be the man to help them see You, I pray that person is put into their lives to help them see You with the open eyes of their hearts. I also pray for my friends (Louis & Amber) who are experiencing some hard times. Lord, I know You have something wonderful planned for them because You blessed them with a wonderful new baby girl. You have given them all that is needed to care for this new daughter and You have helped them in keeping the bills low. Lord, they need Your help to improve their financial condition. They need Your help in caring for this child. I wasn't given all the details on their lives, but You know what needs to be done and I pray for Your help for them. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Bitterness

I am going to be hard on myself tonight.
I have some bitterness in my life and I know the Lord doesn't want me to have it. I have forgiven many things and I know there is nothing I can do to influence other things. I thought I have given them up to the Lord, but something inside of me still holds on to them.

Well, get ready for a pitty/rant party!

I am bitter about these things:

• Microsoft
• My ex-wife's success
• My ex-wife deceitfulness
• My current circumstances
• My failure at life

Why Microsoft? They are a company that had a great opportunity to be gracious about their position in the world of software, but really aren't. They are number one in so many product categories, but they obtained that position through some pretty underhanded tactics.
Does Microsoft make good software? No. The companies they purchased make good software. In fact, the software that is made by the original part of MS makes some average products. To make matters worse, if MS ever made good software, the whole industry will collapse. Why? I wouldn't be working if they fixed all the bugs, closed all the virus holes, stopped the Blue Screens of Death (BSOD), or made software truly easy to use. But then again, I actually don't have a job. You see, I am unemployed.
I find it hard to support a product that causes so much stress, fear, and hatred. I find it morally wrong to say to someone "Go Microsoft and install a full MS based solution." Why? I know that support costs will go up and the need for far more powerful protection technology is required to make a MS based network bullet proof from the hundreds of thousands of virii out on the internet... Then you have to train the users not to "run attachments" before they open them. The list of litanies can go on for months.
So what am I to do about this? Nothing. I am going to have to become Darth Vader to support Microsoft. Will that stop the bitterness? Not really. I will always promote alternate technologies than MS based unsecure products. I believe technology can work for people and it can have value. By doing it completely by MS ways means yearly software audits, yearly/bi-yearly software subscription purchases, constantly purchasing new PCs, and knowing that no matter what happens to your network after it is attacked via a security hole, they will release a patch within a few weeks.
I try to give this up to the Lord, but I fail. Something in me keeps pulling it back. Microsoft is bigger than me, but I know that God is bigger than Microsoft. He can crush them, wipe the company off the face of the earth and scatter their employees to the corners of the world. What is it that is causing me to feel this way towards this company? You know, the world isn't fair and if the Lord feels that MS tactics will be punished later, then so be it. I will let Him decide if I am to support the Big Blue Butt Baboon or not.

My ex-wife's success does bother me. A part of me is happy for her because she has struggled for a long time to make ends meet, and now she is set. It was an answer to a prayer. Her new job pays very well and the position has great growth potential. In fact, the way she describes it, the job is a perfect fit for her. Yet, I can't find a job to save myself. I have applied just about everywhere and I haven't found anything! I just have to realize that I am in the place the Lord wants me to be. There are many times I am thankful to the Lord I am poor.

deceitfulness is a horrible thing to discover in a persons life. I feel everyone will experience it at least once. My ex-wife had written she had been with other men and women doing one thing or another within the first couple of months of our marriage. We were married a little over seven years with no children. I forgave her for one of them, but I discovered these other trists a little later and I realized there was no way the marriage will last with that much cheating. I don't know, I am not very bitter, but hurt and the pain was really, really bad when it happened. The bad thing about the whole divorce, she felt no remorse and didn't care.

I am bitter about my current financial situation. I struggle daily with this. I was fired from a job that paid over 88K a year, I lost my house, my wife, my pets, and my financial security. Yes, I have been forced to rely on the Lord, but the handouts are discouraging! It crushes me to be forced to accept handouts from people. Is that pride being pressed out of my life? I guess so. The last four years have been very hard and I am not learning what the Lord wants me to know. I wish I knew what He wants of me and what He wants me to do!! Am I getting angry at the Lord? You bet! He loves an open heart and I let Him know how I feel about stuff.

Finally, I am guilt ridden with my failure at life and how poor of a "manager" I have been with the things the Lord has given me. I have jacked up so much crap and still haven't learned how to do what is right. I know life is about failure, but I have failed so many times. The positive side of me says "Just get right back up." But I don't. During the last four years, I have experienced 40 interviews for jobs. You would think I'd be a pro by now, but having no job means I'm not doing so good. My sister commented to me, I seem defeated or demoralized. Well, I am and no matter how many times I have prayed to the Lord to take this off of me, it still remains.

-Dear Lord, I am crushed with bitterness and defeat! The baggage I carry consumes me and trashes the joy and peace you give! It also wipes out the wisdom you give because it causes me to make irrational decisions. Jesus, please, PLEASE I BEG YOU, take the yoke of these things. They are killing me and causing me to miss life and to be negative. They are also confusing me and Your messages to me about the direction You want me to go. Lord, I am a stubborn, stupid, fool and I pray for Your grace, love, peace and faith to claim this bitterness and remove it forever. I also pray for Your forgiveness in my weakness and lack of faith. Take my heart, my soul and my life and use it for whatever needs and desires You have. Please give me courage to fight the battles You want me fight, and the strength to climb the holes You place me in. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Good works vs Grace.

I was talking to someone last night who made a point about doing good works and being good, and you'll go to heaven. If that is the case, then a person who didn't do one good thing, wouldn't make it into heaven. Heaven is a perfect place and if good works get a person there, then it would be an empty and lonely place.

Nobody and I mean NOBODY is perfect. Perfection is a sinless existence. If someone says they are sinless, then they are a sinner because they lied. All have sinned! If someone says they are perfect, they are lying, which makes them imperfect even more. God is so holy, so perfect, He can't even look at sin. So good works mean nothing because the moment you don't do something, you have committed a sin. Plus, good works can cause a person to boast of their accomplishments, i.e. "I did that for this person" or "I gave money to charity".

People don't realize that God's grace is what's needed to get into heaven. We have to accept Him unconditionally, have a relationship with Him, and give ourselves over to Him in love and openness. His grace is what saves us from destruction. It is by His grace we are even able to love Him, speak His name, and to worship Him.

I wrote about grace in another post, and what it is. Does this mean we are not to do good things? That is up to you. If you love the Lord and want to do what He wants you to do, then performing acts of kindness to strangers, with no strings attached are great things to do. Why? Because the Commandments are based upon this: You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind. And, Love your neighbor as yourself. (NLT based upon Luke 10:27)

If what I am doing doesn't fall inside of this simple (but powerful!) bit of logic, then most likely it wasn't done with God's love. And to add my own thoughts, I'm not perfect at following this logic, but I try and ask for forgiveness when I do fail because I know the Lord is full of grace and will forgive me!

Ultimately, its all up to you and only you can decide that life is full of selfless grace or full of yourself doing good works.