Psalm dated 2-25-06

I know You are the One.
I know You are in my heart.
You build it up to face the curel world
You prepare it to be there for those in need.
I am Your tool and I don't care.
I am Your son and I do care.
Your love reflects through me
To show others what life can be
With You in a man's soul
Fanning the passion flame's coals,
Nothing can stop the love
That comes from above.
I want to help others see You as someone
Who will always be there for them
And not run away from the horrors of life
But to confront them with Your Holy Might.
There is nothing for us to fear
With You holding us so dear.
My Lord, I love You and want You,
I desire Your love and crave Your peace
Because I know without it I am not complete.
You want me for Your own will
And I am happy to give all I can.
For I know You will do greater still
With the little I give is part of Your plan.

Psalm Dated 2-24-06

Am I doing what You want me to do?
Should I be doing something else?
My heart screams out in utter confusion
I die minute by minute because of my loss
Of the time I spent with You enveloped
In the middle of Your holy arms protected
From the mad thrashings of the Devil
As he hates his loss of my downfall.
You protected me from so much more
Than I can ever see or dream.
You were there, covering my core
From my own self-centeredness, from my selfishness
From my own darkness.
YOU are the light that blots out the pain in my soul
And You hold on to me so tightly and have never let go.
I am Yours.
My heart is Yours.
I belong to no other
For I know there can be no better
Way to live life as a man under your care.
Who knows my heart and its ways?
Who can see the future and plot a path
That is so perfect and so good
I shouldn't loose my way.

I love You Lord! I try to put You first in what I do.
I need You and Your guidance
Towards a life You want me to enjoy
For You put us on this earth to love You
Our neighbors and ourselves.
You put us on this earth to help the ones
Who suffer needlessly under the yoke of dictators,
Despots, and cheaters.
Much suffering can be removed if we
Lost the greed that prevails many lives.
Much suffering can be removed if we
Just cared.

Lord, I want to be able to speak to anyone on this world
To show them the way of Your holy Word
They need to know Your love for them
And Your desire a relationship that isn't a religion
You want our hearts and I hope many will give
To be in Your light and truly live!

Proverbs 23

I read the book of Proverbs often. There are some very good bits of wisdom there and it is relevant to things of today. What is interesting about this book are the 31 chapters, which to me means a chapter a day and you get through the whole thing in a month.

Proverbs 23 contains part of The 30 Precepts of the Sages and what got me was #18. This precept primarily talks about wine and drunkenness. If you really read between the lines, it talks about not judging things by their covers, even first impressions, but first get to know it intimately and how it will treat you later. Then you can decide if it is the type of thing you should have in your life. This can also apply to people.

I will be honest and say, not everyone gets along and God knows that, and He does put hard people into our lives to see how we handle them. I heard a pastor called them "holy sandpaper people". Even 10 grit sandpaper doesn't compare to some people I have experienced in my life. I guess you can call them "holy grinder people". They are so course, any rough edges on your life, soul and attitudes will be removed, but as grinders can do, they also damage the good things. So what are we to do? Love them as best as we can and pray for them.

Does that mean I am to remain in contact with them? Well, that is a hard one to answer. If the Lord really wants you to help them, then do your best. Pull away as needed to get a breather and ask others to pray with you about this person, and even yourself. Patience, peace and godly courage are needed to help these hurting souls. I have seen very bitter and crass men turn into loving, strong men, and the same has happened to women too. But remember, we are all unique (as I stated in a previous post) and not everyone's tastes are the same.

I will also reiterate my previous statement, I AM NOT PERFECT! I have left people behind because I didn't have the skills or the temperament to deal with them. Plus, my patience wasn't like it is now. I used to hate really difficult people, now I know better how to deal with them. Most of the time, it depends on the person. Some people, I have to say, seem intent on making like horrid for everyone else.

So, will I be judged by my exterior looks and up front demeanor? Or will someone take the time to know me personally and then decide? Can they accept I am trying to be real and let people know I am imperfect? And if a fellow believer comes and looks that this and says, "I am not like this", then maybe they shouldn't read this blog anymore, re-examine themselves, and really see if they are a "real follower of Christ" or not. Denial is a sin too! Open your hearts to the healing light of the Lord and He will pluck out the darkness that hides there, like zits on a face! But He will only do that if you open up to Him. That step is yours to make.

-My Father in Heaven, this post will upset people and turn others away, but I hope it plants a seed in their hearts that can open doors to Your healing light. I pray for the people who struggle daily with those that are hard to love and I hope Your awesome compassion for these hurt souls fills those who deal with them.
-Lord, I know I am not perfect and I have had many failures and not much success. What I hope for is Your constant love, encouragement and joy to fill my soul and spirit to face the difficult people You allow into my life. Thank You Lord for giving the chance to build patience, a giving heart, and a life with You lighting my way. In Your Son's name I pray, Amen.

Wait.

I am discovering more and more, I am to wait. God wants me to wait and to wait patiently because He will provide.

That line of thinking is so counter to our culture of "hurry-up and wait and get ticked off because they are taking too darn long!!" What happened to "good things come to those who wait"? As so many things that have happened to me (and I see happen to others) the business of our culture seems to suck the life out of you. I know it does, because it almost did me in!

Americans lead busy lives. We think we can pack a billion things into a million spots. There are people out there who claim they can do all these things in one day and it makes others envious because they want to do lots of things in a day. Well, I have news for everyone... And I'm trying to put this lightly... You are not them, they are not you, so what does it matter what they can do?

Every person is unique, period. Sure, there might be similarities between people, but not everyone has the same makeup of genes and DNA. In fact, a person might be from a family and be just like them in everyway, but there will always be something unique that wasn't part of that family gene pool. Case in point: Every member of my family is very analytical and we are good at focusing our energies into our work. But each of us have very different tastes in music, manners and attitudes. So, where does this lead us? You are unique and you are made that way on purpose.

God is in control and He will make a child have similar traits and attributes of the parents, but He also sews in that unique pattern that gives a child "I am me" thoughts. As we all grow older, each person develops or discovers their talents and gifts. Some people can multitask, but not focus on any one thing very well. While others can concentrate on a subject and complete it with excellent results, but can't stand and breathe at the same time. These are generalizations, and I hope you get my point. So instead of doing what the Joneses are doing, why don't you do what you like to do?

Back to the topic: Waiting. I am to wait for everything. Wait for a job. Wait for His command to point me in the direction He wants me to go. Wait for Him to decide what is to become of my life. Wait. Why? He wants to teach me patience.

Normally, I am a very patient guy. To some, almost too patient. It seems the Lord wants to stretch it out more. You know, I love Him, but some times I can stand it when He does this. I love to advance through things, move forward, "take the next hill" type of guy, but this period of "nothingness" or "blah" is such a let down! It really questions your own abilities and can undermine your confidence. But still I must wait. I feel like a seven year old on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa!

-Lord, I want to give you praise for my small group leader's victory in court over custody of his children. You were that judge and the holy spirit really did speak through Louis' voice. That was your court that day and there was nothing that would change the situation. You were in control. Father, I pray for Louis' family needs and I hope they are provided for. He is Your son and I know You love him, help him Lord!
-I pray Lord for patience and peace. I am a griper and a complainer, and I hope to loose those "features" soon. I know life isn't perfect and there will always be something that will cause friction in my life. I just pray for patience because I know, and have to constantly remind myself, You are in control. My life is Yours, I have written it here, I have written it elsewhere, and I have etched it into my heart "I am YOURS." I want You, crave You, desire You, and NEED YOU! You are important to me and I hate, and I mean hate, the busyness of my days. Help me build margin into this life so I can live life for You. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

For Real

This morning, while I was praying for the Lord's blessing upon my breakfast, a voice popped into my head. Of all things, as I was thanking the Lord for this day and hope to do what He wants me to do and for His caring for me, I was being mocked! This voice was saying, "You are doing everything for your own ends and you don't really love the Lord! You're a fake!" It continued to attack me as I prayed. I became angry during my meal as I thought about that voice.

I determined this: If the Lord thought I was fake (and He would know), then I pray He would release me so the world can deal with my "fakeness". Also I prayed that He wouldn't love and care for me anymore, if I was fake.

Yet, as soon as I made that prayer, I got a response, it said, "You are not fake. You genuinely love the Lord and have a heart for Him. He loves you fiercely and would do anything to care for you! Even if you were fake, He would still love and try to care for you."

I don't ever want to be considered a fake. I have been accused, many times, of not being real or having other motives. Such words have hurt in the past when I really was trying to help. I am a surface thinker and rarely go below what I mean. I guess I say what is on my mind or I lack tactfulness. It has taken me years to acquire a decent filter to make sure I'm not such a "smack in the face" type of guy. Sure, it isn't perfect, but who is, except Jesus? I just don't want to be fake, and that is my prayer today, to be real, full of heart, and love!

So what does it mean to be real? Well, having interests in things that other people think Christians shouldn't like, secular movies, secular books (like Harry Potter), loud hard rocking music (Christian or secular), or a lust for life! There are too many times people have looked at me and thought I wasn't a real Christian because of these things. Well, I have news for you, God will use anything to get His message across to people. God is not above using something that is evil to fight evil, i.e. the Babylonians attacking Assyria and attacking corrupt Israel. I know He is using the Harry Potter books to put out a message. I have read it and its plain as day! These words popped out to me, "Sometimes you have to do something the hard way." I mean, C.S. Lewis, a beloved Christian author, wrote books that had witches, non-human creatures and spells! Even Lord of the Rings has a message from the Lord in it! (C.S. Lewis and J.R. Tolkien were pub buddies when they wrote their famous books.)

I am real and I refuse to be a legalistic Christian with Do's and Don't's in my life. Not some sort of "cookie cutter", emotionless, actionless, joyless person, but someone with life! Everyone is different and unique, with special gifts and traits. Some are good, some are bad, but we are ultimately each other's neighbors. Instead of pointing out my faults, look at the cracks in your life first and when you are done, don't say anymore because you would be considered a judgmental person. Enjoy your life!

-Dear Lord, I want to be real. Real for You and for others. I hope that is a good "want" to have because I don't want to be fake. I want to be able to develop deep friendships with people, not the surface kind that so many make at church these days! Make me into a man that thirsts to seek Your heart and the hearts of others for You! Make me into a man with a passion and lust for life abundant, a life full of joy, a life without darkness! Open my heart to help others and to serve their needs because I want to be Your model for others to see. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Prophesy

Today, I was reading Ezekiel Chapter 38-39. What struck me about these chapters was how vivid the Lord's words were. What also struck me was how close His words were matching what is going on today.

I have read Revelations and other prophesy books. What many of these writers didn't know was the technology or political aspect of how the Antichrist is going to assert his power. There are several things that need to occur before the true beginning of Tribulation.

1. Israel has to become a country (which has happened).
2. Gog and Magog have to attack (which hasn't happened).
3. Rise of the Antichrist.
4. Tribulation (biblical scholars are not sure if Christians will be taken before or after the Lord's Judgments).

The Lord has revealed things to me and others about what is happening now and how they relate to scripture. Israel's fight with the Palestinians, Russia's power shift, Iraq's struggle to become a unified country, and RFID tags. I leave this up to you to discern these words for yourself. I don't claim to be a prophet of the Lord because all of this has already been written and if you are a Christian, you know the Lord doesn't like to repeat Himself. :)

As most of you know, Israel has been fighting the Palestinians for many years. They have also endured numerous attacks and thousands of innocent people have been killed. All of these attacks have provoked Israel into attacking. Well, I should be honest, even the Israelites haven't been too nice either. But with Hamas taking over in Gaza, this doesn't bode well. Then there is Mr. Sharon becoming ill, right after Israel pulled people out of the Westbank and parts of Gaza. The Lord gave all of that area to His people. I have to wonder if He was angered over their choice to leave those parts? Only He knows. Now, the Israelites left and expected peace. If God did approve, peace would be there. Well, they didn't get peace and got more bloodshed and murder. In fact, Hamas, who is a very militant group and has repeatedly called for the destruction of Israel, is in charge of Palestine! Watch this carefully because I think they are going to push Israel into full war and Hamas is going to loose.

I think this will cause other countries to get angry and raise up an army and attack Israel. Many countries are upset at the US over Iraq. So I wouldn't doubt they would attack them just to do it, since Israel is a thorn to many countries sides. I say this because the Lord so clearly points this out in Ezekiel 38-39. Ezekiel 38:8 "In the distant future you'll arrive at a country that has recovered from a devastating war." (MSG) To me this points to Lebanon or Iraq, but I feel it is Lebanon since it is North of Israel and Ezekiel mentions several countries coming from that direction. Also, Iran is mentioned and considering what their leader said about Israel, they would "LOVE" to be there. Considering all that I have mentioned, read those two chapters. I have the Message Remix edition, but I have read similar words from other versions of the bible.

Have eyes that see, have ears that hear and a mind that understands, but do not fear for the Lord is coming.

The last thing I want to mention is Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) tags. These little devices were invented back in WW II, but are just being put into use with in the last 10 years. Many of you might work at companies that require you to have these thin cards that you wave at a wall plate and it lets you into a door. Those are called RFID cards. The new versions of these are tiny little tags that can be put onto boxes or clothes and can be read where ever you go. They also have an implantable version. Spooky, heh? Read Rev. 13:16-18 to understand.

These implantable versions are being used already in Mexico's government to prevent forgery of ID's. In Spain, they are being used to put food and drinks on tabs at bars and there are lots of people using them. Some kids in California are using them for security reasons on their home PCs as the tags are injected into their hands. They even got their girlfriends to get injected. Just recently, a security company in Chicago required their employees to get injected with the tags if they want access to the datacenter of their network.

Have eyes that see, have ears that hear and a mind that understands, but do not fear for the Lord is coming. Don't freak out and don't go yelling through the streets about this. Just understand and see the signs. The Day of the Lord is coming!

-Lord, I give thanks for the successful interview that I had today. I give thanks for the additional interview I will have this week with the same company. I also give thanks for the water pipe break at one of my client's locations. It means more money to make ends meet and it shows just how much You love me and want to take care of me. I laugh at this because they haven't called me in so long and I am in need of money. Thank You Father. I also pray for my small group leader and his family. Father, he needs your help, but he also needs to know what You want him to do. You have something special planned for him and I so want to help him, if You'll let me. Help him find money Lord. Help him find help to be helped. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Busy, very busy!

Wow!
What a busy weekend and I was hardly able to keep up. Then again, I have become more simple in how I handle my life now. God wanted me to declutter and I feel that I have done that very well.

I rebuilt a DVD/CD duplicator, basically from scratch. I video taped and photographed a wedding. I did some work with a new art program called Painter 9, which is very powerful! I also have a job interview this morning!

Am I nervious? Not really. I gave it up to the Lord, which He is telling me I need to get a move-on and get ready. I did want to say this, He is very good. He is so good, that nothing compares. I fully realize, life cannot happen without Him. That is how important He is. I feel sorry for all of those people that have been force fed legalistic Christianity, because they might not never know the truth the Lord has to say. I say this because I was a legalistic Christian and force fed someone very close to me and they ran away. I am partly to blame for that, but ultimately, it was their choice on the actions they chose.

Anyway, life is good, though is hard and can be a pain. I just know the Lord has a plan and will guide me to that point where He wants me to be.

I love the Lord. I want Him in my life. I desire His love and I crave His attention, which He gives it abundantly!! Have a blessed day!

-Lord I pray for my sister and her family! Lord, please, remove this burden that has been put on them! Help them resolve the troubles they are experiencing with their current business home. Help them find a new place quickly and let me be of help to them! Even though I don't have the money to afford to drive where they are at, I know You will find a way, if that is Your will! Use me to help them. Give me strength and a strong back to handle the work that will be required of me! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.