Saturday, September 02, 2006

Food is bad, umkay?

This is to the Lord:

Food, its whats for dinner.
Food, its what I crave.
Food, its what I hate.
Food, its what I need.
Food, its what is killing me.

Father, American food is poison. The chemicals are addictive and destructive. They eat at the veins in my body, they cling to the sides of my arteries and body. Yet, I can't stop eating it. This food is killing me and there is nothing I can do!

Yet, I have You, my Lord, to be my savior and I know You'll find a perfect solution for this. I want to loose weight, but I want it to be for You and not for any other reason. Because I know, if I loose it, the weight will stay off. You are God and know the perfect way to solve it. I will do what I can, but I know I have been failing to stick to a diet.

I love You, Father, and I look forward to the dreams You give when I sleep. Amen.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Another Idol.

This is to the Lord:
My Lord, who reigns in Heaven, the Universe, and on Earth, I confess to You: I haven't put Your ways first in my life. There is an idol that I worship and continue to worship and I don't know how to hand it over to you. This idol prevents me from getting closer to you and experiencing the true love and direction you want me to go. And the name of this idol is food.

I worship it, I crave it, I desire it. My Lord it has gotten me into so much trouble, pain and headache. It my kriptonite.

How do You want me to hand this off? To give it to You? You are my Master and I am Your bond servant and I trust in You to know how to handle it. I also trust in You on what is needed to solve it. You are God and I am not. You are God and I am NOT. YOU ARE GOD and i am not.

The idol is Yours and I pray for Your help on how to destory it. Amen

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Tormenting Spirit.

This is to the Lord:
My Lord in Heaven, why am I being tormented night and day over my ex-wife Kristy?
Why must I be made to feel her life is of such importance, when all she cares about is herself?
Wasn't it her who claimed to accepted You into her life and then renounce it?
Wasn't it her who wanted out of the marriage?
Wasn't it her who broke her vows?
Wasn't it her who mentally abused me, demeaning me, and making me feel I am worthless?
Wasn't it her who wanted to depose You from my life?
Wasn't it her who wanted to continue to have sexual relations with both males and females outside of the marriage?
Wasn't it to You I confessed my sins I have committed against her and am I not forgiven of those sins and they are completely forgotten?
Then why, WHY am I being tormented about her?!
Why are my dreams infested with mentioning of her or having involvement in her stuff?
Why is this happening?
She is not my concern as she wanted her own life to do as she pleases.
She is not a part of my life as she wanted out of the marriage.
She is not married to me as she wanted to commit additional acts of adultery.
She is not able to abuse me anymore as I refuse to experience it any longer.
She is not a part of the church because she has rejected You.
She is not "my queen" as You reign over this life You have given me.
She is not liable because I have forgiven her.

So, who is being allowed to torment me over this woman who is NOT a part of my life? As far as I am concerned, and from what I know about You, Father, I shouldn't be attacked or tormented about her. If this is something coming from my ownself, then I beg of You, help me defeat it! Take it from me, remove it with Your perfect power! Please, let me move on and develop a new life with a new person.

As for Kristy, I pray she just gave a damn about what she did to me and the pain she caused. I pray she even cared one tiny bit. I pray she even knew I loved her so much. Father, please, remove from me this old love I have buried in my heart for her. It needs to be removed because it is festering and has caused me lots of pain. I pray to move forward and to forget the past and the pain I experienced and to feel Your love and the hope You give.

But I know, Your will has the final say and I pray, Let Your Will Be Done. Amen.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

New Style.

This is to the Lord:
Father, I have realized I am not a great Christian. I realize I am incrediably selfish. I realize, that is my idol and I cast it before You. I realize today, I really did need You because I was attacked visciously by a demon...I also realize You were testing me again because You wouldn't have allowed it to happen. I realize, I almost lost it and You saved me. I realize that life isn't fair and never will be. I realize I need a Savior on a constant, daily, hourly, moment by moment basis. I realize, I need You and have to have You. I realize, nothing, and I mean, NOTHING is possible without You. I realize, more that I can ever put into words, I love You and want You. I realize that You are the source of all solutions and answers. You Are God, and You deserve all credit for solving all of the problems I have encountered. You are God and I am most definately not. Holy are You and worthy of all praise! Amen!