Stepping out of the boat.

In my Small Group tonight, we started a new series by John Ortberg about Stepping Out of the Boat. Like what Peter did when Jesus was walking on water. And I came upon a realization (actually several):

I am a failure if I don't at least try and I am an even bigger failure if do nothing at all. If God doesn't want you to do something, He will close that avenue or door to you. In fact, He will make it so hard you'll pretty much have to stop. If you want to do what He wants, you'll eventually see His hand in everything. If God wants you to do something, and you do it, He will give you everything you need to complete it. And if you fall during that time, He will be there to pick you up, guaranteed. Why do I know that? I just do. Have a faith and belief in Him and He will help.

I also found out that being a failure, such as myself, you learn a lot. That's provided the thick part of your skull has thinned enough to learn. My skull was thick and it still is in some parts, but the Lord is whittling them down.

Finally, I learned something else that has affected me very personally for 24 years. I will not go into details, but to say I now have figured out why I don't have much motivation. And it is because of this, I was most likely robbing myself of motivation. It is something I will work at to defeat because it has been so crippling. I will know more as time progresses if I have found a "cure".

Have a blessed week!

What a day!

Yesterday, I borrowed a bike from a friend of mine to see whether or not I am willing to ride it consistently. In fact, I was going to ride it this morning.

God had other plans for me. It rained this morning. Instead, I got up, ate a leisurely breakfast, drank nearly a pot of coffee (I thank God for making coffee because it tastes so good!) and went into church to hear the message and to record CDs.

Afterwards, I rode the bike... and boy did it hurt! The seat was harder than concrete and the gears are not working very well, but I did do it. And I liked it, even though my lungs and heart would say differently. To be honest, I think I did what the Lord wanted me to do.

If it wasn't, then I pray for an ear to hear His words and a heart that will remember those words. I so need Him on a daily/hourly/minute/moment basis. It is because of Him, I am any good at anything. So I have this to say:

Thank you Jesus for allowing me to love You and to ask that You be my confidence. Because You the deal and I don't.