Closer, my version.

My Lord! YOU are my God, yet sometimes, things drag me away from You. I will tell You, my heart is seeking something else to add to my life, yet I don't want to loose You! How do others combine Your love with another? Not to serve another, but to love another and have You?

What are You turning me into? There are few Christians that have experienced some of the troubles I have, but You want more from me. I know this. I sense this. Every time I think I have totally given myself to You, something else pops up to say, "I want more!"

I don't want to spin my gears to the point of stripping them, making them useless. Sadly, I don't stop when I do start spinning them. Father, my heart wants You more now. I want You more. Fill my soul, spirit and spiritual bucket to overflowing! I have the job I was seeking, but I now realize, its worthless next to You! I much rather have Your love and closeness than a job. But...I need a job to survive this world.

Help me wrest control of my will. Bend it to Yours and make it do Your bidding. I am Your slave, Your child, Your son. Love me, I beg You! Love me more for my desire is to be closer to You than ever! Even now, I shed tears for I know what You mean to me. You are my life. You are my heart. You are my God! Jesus, show Yourself to me and hug me, for it will be worth more than all the money of this sinful world!

You are my God, my King, my Lord, my Best Friend. Your love covers me, fills me, even goes before me. Your love is like a warm shower on a cold day! It fills the gaps, warms the outside and comforts the inside. Nothing has ever come close. Nothing is more special and pure than You. Yet, this week, I have been drawn by several things to distract me, to pull me, to stop me.

Don't let Satan win. Don't let Satan weaken me! I must remain strong for YOU! I know You don't need me, but You want me and that is more important! Help me to help others to come to You! Help me to help others to who are seeking forgiveness! Fill my heart, mind and soul with the right words to show them the way! I know You love each of us far more than the total! Individually, we were died for on the cross! And I shed more tears because it is so full of love!

Jesus, there is a child who is injured, physically and emotionally. She needs Your help and forgiveness! Lord, help her seek forgiveness. Help her open the eyes of her heart to You! Help her see, You want her! Use me or Roxanne to reach this child of Yours! I know You will help, because You love her. You heard her so many months ago, wanting forgiveness for what she has experienced and done. You guided me to her so I will never stop proclaiming Your greatness and Your love to her.

Mighty God, Protector of the weak, Defender of the depressed, Lover of souls, Judge of all, hear me! Listen to my cries! Seek me in my dreams. Find me in my heart! You are to be my God! You have restored me and I give You praise! Hosanna! Hallelujah! I shed tears of joy over You! My soul screams out in praise of You! Holy is my God! Holy is Jesus, the Son of the Living God, for none is more holy than He! HOLY IS THE LORD! Amen!

Amazing grace.

This week has been busy. Very busy. I've also haven't given my time to the Lord as well as I wanted to. I don't like it when I get like this, but I have to accept the situation for now and pray that He will help me adjust to the new schedule. I must give my time to Him each and every morning. I must start to exercise. I must live for Him and be healthy for Him. Because there are great and important things He wants me to do before I go to Him. He is my fire, my passion. He is the life I seek and desire. He is Jesus and He has forgiven me of my sins.

Glory to the Lord who reigns on high! None is more holy than He!

This will be short. My mind is shot and only certain actions will keep me awake. My the Lord love you more and more each day and I hope the eyes of your heart are open to Him.

Getting used to change.

Me: Hi, my name is John.
Audience: Hi, John!
Me: And I'm blog owner who doesn't post...

Yep, that's me. I haven't posted very well or not at all during the past few days. I guess, I am trying to get used to the idea that I have a job. A real job. It takes up a lot of my time and when I get home, my mind and body are trashed. I also realized I haven't been getting into the Word very well, nor have I been spending good time with the Lord. All I can count on is His grace and love to let me recover and get order back to my life.

And I also realized I will have to get up earlier in the morning! That will be the only consistant time I will have to spend it with the Lord! I will also spend it exercising. I need to if I want to live and to be a good servant of the Lord.

Today, though, life was great! The work I did was good and I saved the client lots of money. I learned how to write up the numerous forms my new job requires. I was also given $300 today.

One of my small groups realized I was in need. You see, I will not get paid until the 14th and my bank accounts are nearly dry. I knew I wasn't going to make it until then and it would have ment little to no food. I was preparing for this and expecting to loose another 20 lbs- which wouldn't hurt me, but starvation isn't a good way to loose weight. Tonight, I was presented with this money and I realized it was from the Lord. I needed that money, but I didn't want to ask for it because I have been asking so much recently. But the Lord allowed my small group to see my need. They saw I needed clothes. They saw I had holes in my shoes. They saw I needed to be shown the Lords love.

I have no doubt in my mind that God exists. Because He does see, He does care, and He will take care of you.

Be at peace and may the Father bless your day tomorrow!

-Father in Heaven, Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit! You are awesome and worthy of all praise! Thank You Lord for loving me. Thank You Lord for being there for me! Thank You Lord for taking care of my sins! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

He calls His Sheep by Name

In John 10, I read about Jesus conversations with the Jews in the temple. He mentioned a parable about sheep and a Sheepherder. These sheep would know the voice of the Sheepherder and not of anyone else. He also mentioned that unless someone came through the Gate, they are not from the Sheepherder and the Sheepherder always comes to the Gate and the Gate will allow the sheep to leave the pen.

There was a symbolism I had known about, but something clicked today. Jesus is the Gate, and as He has mentioned through-out the Gospels, no one may get to the Father, except through Him. I have known this, but for some alien reason, I wasn't able to make it "click" in my thick noodle of a head.

This angered the Jews and many wanted to stone Him on the spot. Yet, they were curious about Him, was He the promised Messiah? Jesus told and showed them that He was and backed it up with scripture. Yet the Jews were upset that He said He was the Son of God. The Messiah could be anything, but the never realized that He would be the Son of God. It kills me how the human heart has such thick eye lids because God is so much brighter than we give Him credit for.

Have eyes that see, ears that hear, and a heart to feel.

This past weekend, I was involved with a Ministry called Feed the People out of Kansas City, MO. What was different about this time (and I have done it several times), we called 911 for a man that was injured or very ill. We also upset a pimp because we were in his parking spot infront of a shelter, while we were feeding these poor people. I find it hard to understand, but I should realize, I could have been just like him and I am very thankful to the Lord for making me more humble.

Also, pray for the hurting and the seeking tonight. They need your prayers so badly. I just wish I could be more comforting to them.

-My Lord, I want to pray for those who are broken hearted, who are hurting, who feel they are useless. Jesus, help them not to feel this way. Place people, or pets or something into their lives that will show them that there is meaning and purpose to life. If Your will allows it, help them to see You for the loving, merciful, and loving God that You are. Thank You Lord for making my heart open to these lost and seeking souls and I pray for Your awesome power to say and provide the words and things that will help them real You or at least help them recover. Lord, I love You and I ask for Your forgiveness for not giving more of my time to You this weekend. I really wanted to show my gratitude for the job and to say, I love You! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.