Well, I wasn't able to keep my promise tonight to take photos. It seems I heard the times wrong for the meeting. Or something else happened and I didn't have a clue as to what went on.
So, I have broken a promise. And I have been trying to do my best to keep my promises, especially when it comes to church matters. It angers me that it happened and there is nothing I can do to fix it. I am going to have to do some major explaining tomorrow, if I see the people who organized the event. I hope I do because I messed up, even though I don't know how.
Well, for my birthday, I get to baby sit two sick CD Printers. One is a worn out robot and the other is a new monster that has "issues". It used to be a non-baby-sit task when it came to printing CDs, now I "have" to be here.
Sometimes, I like being here, because it gets me out of my apartment and around people. Well, if people are here when I print the CDs. Usually, I show-up around or after my church's 5 PM Saturday service to print the CDs so that they are ready for recording the next morning. I do this to make sure the message title and speaker is set in stone. This tactic works 98% of the time. Sometimes, things happen and a speaker wouldn't be able to make it and we would have 100 CDs with that speakers name on them. At that point, a Sharpie marker corrects it. What has happened in the past was the message title and the speaker changes or the whole series name changes and we have these 100 CDs that are basically useless. That is when we pull out the peel-and-stick labels.
Another reason I like being here is I can spend a deep moment with the Lord. It isn't often you can just sing or yell out, "I LOVE THE LORD" in a big building without getting in trouble or people looking and pointing at the Jesus Freak. Plus, this building seems alive! It seems to breathe and make noises, almost in response to questions. I know that God exists everywhere, but sometimes, I feel Him here. Almost as if He has made a "home away from Home" in the Worship Center.
Man, I am just trying to enjoy baby-sitting this monster of a CD printer, but I'm not. Oh well, Happy Birthday.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Today is....
My birthday! I have decided to give it to the Lord today. I helped a friend move some things and I will be taking photographs for my church. I want to give my birthday to Him, because He has given me so much.
I also want to give praise to the Lord for answering my small group's prayer for two members. They will be marrying each other soon and will be combining two families into a new house, but they had to sell their own homes too. Today, hopefully, the last home has an offer! This is great when the Lord helps because He helped them at the last minute! He is so awesome and so good!
I struggle many times with giving control to the Lord. I know I need to if He is going to work in my life. So I say this a lot, "My life is in His hands." I know I have been a bad manager of my life and I constantly rely on my own judgment, when I should give it up to Him. I also have ignored Him too because, in a childish way, I thought His decision wasn't fun.
The Lord knows how I tick, so I trust in Him that He will turn my thinking around on what is fun or isn't fun into always being fun. Wouldn't it be a trip to constantly think of everything as being enjoyable? I would never be bored!
-Dear Lord, I give thanks for answering the small group's prayer about Tammy and Brad. You have answered their needs and I pray they are successful in selling the final home. I also give thanks Lord for my Mother and her visit this weekend. I pray she is able to visit everyone she was wanting to visit and her travel is free of injury. Lord, I continue to pray for Your strength to overcome the these mental blocks that are in my head that slow or stop the flow of Your wisdom, insight and love. I need You on a moment by moment basis and I know that without You, I will not be able to do anything. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
I also want to give praise to the Lord for answering my small group's prayer for two members. They will be marrying each other soon and will be combining two families into a new house, but they had to sell their own homes too. Today, hopefully, the last home has an offer! This is great when the Lord helps because He helped them at the last minute! He is so awesome and so good!
I struggle many times with giving control to the Lord. I know I need to if He is going to work in my life. So I say this a lot, "My life is in His hands." I know I have been a bad manager of my life and I constantly rely on my own judgment, when I should give it up to Him. I also have ignored Him too because, in a childish way, I thought His decision wasn't fun.
The Lord knows how I tick, so I trust in Him that He will turn my thinking around on what is fun or isn't fun into always being fun. Wouldn't it be a trip to constantly think of everything as being enjoyable? I would never be bored!
-Dear Lord, I give thanks for answering the small group's prayer about Tammy and Brad. You have answered their needs and I pray they are successful in selling the final home. I also give thanks Lord for my Mother and her visit this weekend. I pray she is able to visit everyone she was wanting to visit and her travel is free of injury. Lord, I continue to pray for Your strength to overcome the these mental blocks that are in my head that slow or stop the flow of Your wisdom, insight and love. I need You on a moment by moment basis and I know that without You, I will not be able to do anything. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Dreams
Today, I had a strange dream. I was in some part of the world that looked like parts of Wyoming or Western South Dakota; very few trees, white rock sticking out of the ground in places, green grass, and very hilly. Almost like an old Disney animal documentary.
Parts of the dream were in an old log cabin, with two great big sheep with horns. We seemed to be enjoying ourselves and everything was going well, until the ram showed up.
One sheep and me were walking towards the cabin, just about to go into the door when this ram, which was much smaller, tried several times to butt his horns into the sheep's rear. But the sheep always gets away from him just in time. While this is happening, I am completely ignored. After awhile, the ram turns away and the sheep then tries to butt him back, but I didn't see contact because I saw some bears in the distance.
Next thing I see, the sheep is next to me and I decide to start petting and scratching his ears and noticing it acting just like a dog. I also notice the outline of a sewing seam just around the head and eyes of the sheep (quite obvious, since it had a back comfort strip sewn in too). There was wool in the dark eyes of the creature and feet were not like hooves, but were great big paws. Confused, I stop petting and it leaves to go back to the cabin. The ram was still nearby, just looking at me, not doing anything. Then I look behind me and see a great big gray and brown bear, waiting for me, but not really doing anything dangerous either. He/she was just scratching and licking itself, but stopped as soon as I looked. I decide get up and run, but my alarm goes off.
God uses dreams to warn you of something. He uses dreams to help you warn others of things. Joseph, while jailed in Egypt, was called upon by Pharaoh to explain a dream he had. Because of God's gift to Joseph of wisdom and how to interpret dreams, he told Pharaoh what the dream was about. Then there was Daniel, while in Babylon, and with the help of the Lord, was able to interpret dreams of the king (one of which, he wasn't told what the dream was and had to explain it) and had his own dreams about the future. Or the Apostle John, which many people don't realize, wrote the book of Revelation from a dream or sets of dreams.
When you get a dream that is very vivid, has color (which some people claim dreams are black and white), and is symbolic beyond comprehension, it could be from God. I would recommend praying about if you are not sure what is was or where it came from.
-Lord, You defy comprehension. You can confuse me to death and I know I will never fully understand how You work. At best, I can only summarize Your infinite complexity, but I know it will never fully do You justice. Because I know, You don't like to be placed in boxes, i.e. God will do that or God will do this. You always do something different and unique everytime!
-Thank You Lord for the dreams I have been given. You warned me that my life will change dramatically once I came back to You. In that dream I was told that I would be leaving the confines of a comfortable home and life, for the bleak and black, crumbling world to serve You. You've explained to me how You protected me during my unfortunate marriage, stopping the painful knives of lies and abuse from piercing me. You also have shown I am running faster in the race of life to get closer to You advancing from one pack to another. Lord, help me understand this latest dream, and if it has come from You. I pray for wisdom and insight from You in this matter and I look forward to another wonderful day with You as my Lord and King. I give praise for Your awesome healing power with baby Sedona and I pray she will give You glory as she is raised under Your watchful eye. Please bless me and expand my territory, take my hand and guide me along Your path. Pull me away from evil and laziness and help me not to cause pain to those I love and to others. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Parts of the dream were in an old log cabin, with two great big sheep with horns. We seemed to be enjoying ourselves and everything was going well, until the ram showed up.
One sheep and me were walking towards the cabin, just about to go into the door when this ram, which was much smaller, tried several times to butt his horns into the sheep's rear. But the sheep always gets away from him just in time. While this is happening, I am completely ignored. After awhile, the ram turns away and the sheep then tries to butt him back, but I didn't see contact because I saw some bears in the distance.
Next thing I see, the sheep is next to me and I decide to start petting and scratching his ears and noticing it acting just like a dog. I also notice the outline of a sewing seam just around the head and eyes of the sheep (quite obvious, since it had a back comfort strip sewn in too). There was wool in the dark eyes of the creature and feet were not like hooves, but were great big paws. Confused, I stop petting and it leaves to go back to the cabin. The ram was still nearby, just looking at me, not doing anything. Then I look behind me and see a great big gray and brown bear, waiting for me, but not really doing anything dangerous either. He/she was just scratching and licking itself, but stopped as soon as I looked. I decide get up and run, but my alarm goes off.
God uses dreams to warn you of something. He uses dreams to help you warn others of things. Joseph, while jailed in Egypt, was called upon by Pharaoh to explain a dream he had. Because of God's gift to Joseph of wisdom and how to interpret dreams, he told Pharaoh what the dream was about. Then there was Daniel, while in Babylon, and with the help of the Lord, was able to interpret dreams of the king (one of which, he wasn't told what the dream was and had to explain it) and had his own dreams about the future. Or the Apostle John, which many people don't realize, wrote the book of Revelation from a dream or sets of dreams.
When you get a dream that is very vivid, has color (which some people claim dreams are black and white), and is symbolic beyond comprehension, it could be from God. I would recommend praying about if you are not sure what is was or where it came from.
-Lord, You defy comprehension. You can confuse me to death and I know I will never fully understand how You work. At best, I can only summarize Your infinite complexity, but I know it will never fully do You justice. Because I know, You don't like to be placed in boxes, i.e. God will do that or God will do this. You always do something different and unique everytime!
-Thank You Lord for the dreams I have been given. You warned me that my life will change dramatically once I came back to You. In that dream I was told that I would be leaving the confines of a comfortable home and life, for the bleak and black, crumbling world to serve You. You've explained to me how You protected me during my unfortunate marriage, stopping the painful knives of lies and abuse from piercing me. You also have shown I am running faster in the race of life to get closer to You advancing from one pack to another. Lord, help me understand this latest dream, and if it has come from You. I pray for wisdom and insight from You in this matter and I look forward to another wonderful day with You as my Lord and King. I give praise for Your awesome healing power with baby Sedona and I pray she will give You glory as she is raised under Your watchful eye. Please bless me and expand my territory, take my hand and guide me along Your path. Pull me away from evil and laziness and help me not to cause pain to those I love and to others. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
I Have Been deceived
He lies. He lies. He LIES!
Satan, that prideful, arrogant... he has mentioned this to me, or one of his cronies: If you aren't good, God will take away His love.
Bull. I have read that the Lord's "love is like SuperGlue, once it's given to you, it will never be taken away! And only He can decide when and what I do with His love!"
Imagine that, no matter how rotten a person becomes, God will still love you and forgive you. We just have to remember that our actions will have consequences.
Proverbs 26
This chapter about wisdom seems to be focused on fools and lazy people. I can identify with that. I sit on the Stool of Fools a lot. I also think my name is carved on the seat, because I do sit and stay there a lot. As for being lazy, yes, I have been and I still am. Do I fight it? Yes. Am I successful, I am not sure.
One proverb, 26:7 "A proverb quoted by fools is limp as a wet noodle" (MSG)
Well, I hope you like wet noodles, cause I have many of them.
Lord, I am frustrated at my lack of energy, motivation, desire, and at times heart, when it comes to just living. Please, knock over those blocks in my heart/mind that have affected me so. I desire to be out of this desert You (or I have put myself in) I am in. Please, bless me this day and expand my territory, take my hand and hold it strong to Your path. Keep my away from the Evil One and help me not to cause pain to those I love and to total strangers. In Jesus name, Amen.
Ah, but I am not done!
Romans 9
I realize that many Christians have missed the point. Life isn't about lists of what a person can do or not do. Life is about loving God and letting Him take control of our seemingly out of control lives. So, I try as best as I can to give up control of my life to the Lord and let His plan and desires flow through me to help others.
Many of you don't know this, but I go with a church group, every couple of months, to feed homeless people in the Kansas City area. I have seen very disturbing things and I have seen the Lord's love through each of these visits. He has always protected us and given us blessings for what we do EVERYTIME! We always have enough food to feed hundreds of people. It happens everytime.
So, back to Romans 9. The early Jews didn't see what the Lord was doing because they were focused trying to do what God wanted, instead of them trusting God. The Paul said of Isaiah, "Careful! I've put a huge stone on the road to Mount Zion (Israel), a stone you can't get around. But the stone is ME! If you're looking for Me, you'll find Me on the way, not in the way." (Rom 9: 32-33 MSG)
Lord, I hope, I really hope I have been putting You first and trusting YOU to do what You want in my life. I know that all of creation is Yours and I am just one of Your creations. I also know, life isn't about me, it is about You and giving You glory. Lord, let my life, this life You've given, be glorious to You. Let me be a shining light to others is this dark and lonely world. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Satan, that prideful, arrogant... he has mentioned this to me, or one of his cronies: If you aren't good, God will take away His love.
Bull. I have read that the Lord's "love is like SuperGlue, once it's given to you, it will never be taken away! And only He can decide when and what I do with His love!"
Imagine that, no matter how rotten a person becomes, God will still love you and forgive you. We just have to remember that our actions will have consequences.
Proverbs 26
This chapter about wisdom seems to be focused on fools and lazy people. I can identify with that. I sit on the Stool of Fools a lot. I also think my name is carved on the seat, because I do sit and stay there a lot. As for being lazy, yes, I have been and I still am. Do I fight it? Yes. Am I successful, I am not sure.
One proverb, 26:7 "A proverb quoted by fools is limp as a wet noodle" (MSG)
Well, I hope you like wet noodles, cause I have many of them.
Lord, I am frustrated at my lack of energy, motivation, desire, and at times heart, when it comes to just living. Please, knock over those blocks in my heart/mind that have affected me so. I desire to be out of this desert You (or I have put myself in) I am in. Please, bless me this day and expand my territory, take my hand and hold it strong to Your path. Keep my away from the Evil One and help me not to cause pain to those I love and to total strangers. In Jesus name, Amen.
Ah, but I am not done!
Romans 9
I realize that many Christians have missed the point. Life isn't about lists of what a person can do or not do. Life is about loving God and letting Him take control of our seemingly out of control lives. So, I try as best as I can to give up control of my life to the Lord and let His plan and desires flow through me to help others.
Many of you don't know this, but I go with a church group, every couple of months, to feed homeless people in the Kansas City area. I have seen very disturbing things and I have seen the Lord's love through each of these visits. He has always protected us and given us blessings for what we do EVERYTIME! We always have enough food to feed hundreds of people. It happens everytime.
So, back to Romans 9. The early Jews didn't see what the Lord was doing because they were focused trying to do what God wanted, instead of them trusting God. The Paul said of Isaiah, "Careful! I've put a huge stone on the road to Mount Zion (Israel), a stone you can't get around. But the stone is ME! If you're looking for Me, you'll find Me on the way, not in the way." (Rom 9: 32-33 MSG)
Lord, I hope, I really hope I have been putting You first and trusting YOU to do what You want in my life. I know that all of creation is Yours and I am just one of Your creations. I also know, life isn't about me, it is about You and giving You glory. Lord, let my life, this life You've given, be glorious to You. Let me be a shining light to others is this dark and lonely world. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Psalm Dated 1-25-06
Keeper of my spirit and soul, I give my trust to You.
You desire my love as I desire Your love.
You are perfect, beyond comprehension,
Yet each one of us has infinite amounts of Your attention.
You love us regardless of what we have done,
Are doing,
Or will ever do.
You are love- perfect, unfailing, unending, selfless, amazing.
I love the Lord! For He is my God!
There will never be any god before Him,
And there will never be any after Him.
He is eternal,
He was there at the creation of the universe,
He is here now,
He will be there in the future, when it all ends.
He is God, the Father, Maker of all, Designer of everything, the Great I AM.
You desire my love as I desire Your love.
You are perfect, beyond comprehension,
Yet each one of us has infinite amounts of Your attention.
You love us regardless of what we have done,
Are doing,
Or will ever do.
You are love- perfect, unfailing, unending, selfless, amazing.
I love the Lord! For He is my God!
There will never be any god before Him,
And there will never be any after Him.
He is eternal,
He was there at the creation of the universe,
He is here now,
He will be there in the future, when it all ends.
He is God, the Father, Maker of all, Designer of everything, the Great I AM.
Psalm Dated 8-19-04
Rivers of beautiful love flow from You Lord.
It covers all and gives us joy and peace.
Your love gives hope and I look forward to more.
The flowing rivers of love that come from You
Quenches my spiritual thirst.
Your love fills my cup to overflowing.
Your love flows from me to others.
It covers all and gives us joy and peace.
Your love gives hope and I look forward to more.
The flowing rivers of love that come from You
Quenches my spiritual thirst.
Your love fills my cup to overflowing.
Your love flows from me to others.
Psalm Undated
Lord, I have fallen and You picked me up.
Yet, I fell again- swimming in despair and self-pitty, not trying to get out of my hole.
I felt rage, anger, hatred, fear, exhaustion.
Still, You tenderly talked to me and held my hand as I collapsed into destruction and depression.
Not once did You leave me as I struggled with my pain.
Then, at a perfect time, You tell me to have faith.
"Why?" I ask.
You say, "Because, you give faith to others. You build them up to worship the Father. You encourage the weak, you test the strong and you, through the Lord's gifts, help others see the light. The Father has given you the power to encourage others and to bring glory to the Lord. What you experience and how you go through it are perfect examples of the Father's love for you."
I said, "Please forgive me! I am not worthy of the dust that lies at Your feet! And yet, dear Lord, You've given me this gift? I am humbled... Please, use me as Your will desires!"
The Father restored me to faith and I honor Him for His love and perfect teaching.
Yet, I fell again- swimming in despair and self-pitty, not trying to get out of my hole.
I felt rage, anger, hatred, fear, exhaustion.
Still, You tenderly talked to me and held my hand as I collapsed into destruction and depression.
Not once did You leave me as I struggled with my pain.
Then, at a perfect time, You tell me to have faith.
"Why?" I ask.
You say, "Because, you give faith to others. You build them up to worship the Father. You encourage the weak, you test the strong and you, through the Lord's gifts, help others see the light. The Father has given you the power to encourage others and to bring glory to the Lord. What you experience and how you go through it are perfect examples of the Father's love for you."
I said, "Please forgive me! I am not worthy of the dust that lies at Your feet! And yet, dear Lord, You've given me this gift? I am humbled... Please, use me as Your will desires!"
The Father restored me to faith and I honor Him for His love and perfect teaching.
The first one.
Well, this is it.
The first of hopefully many posts. I have a penchant to write a lot and I seem to think better with a keyboard.
About this blog. I am a Follower of Christ. Some would say a Christian, but I feel that term has been used and abused so much in the last two thousand years. People hate it, their lips curl at it, and at once, I am judged to be someone or something different than I really am.
So, what do you think I am? A Christian or a Follower of Christ? Will you prejudge me before you know me? Will you be a hypocrite who accuses me of being a judgmental, imperfect, selfish, self-centered, prideful, arrogant man? Well, I have an answer to your accusations; I am imperfect, I can be selfish, self-centered, I can be arrogant and prideful and, yes (big shocker) I have been judgmental. I am, after all, a human being, prone to failure and crushing defeat, but I have faith in the One who is perfect in all ways that He will move me to change those traits.
To me, He is perfectly selfless, perfectly other-centered, humble and isn't judgmental, but does have the authority to judge us. His name is Jesus, Son of the Living God, and He is love, pure and simple. Welcome to my blog if you can stand reading about a Follower of Christ or Christian.
What will you see here? My journals to the Lord. Also, I will try to post what I feel/think I hear during my quiet time with Him. I won't post everything. Sometimes, what I feel is very personal and only He should know what is going on.
Finally, I will post psalms. Some will be good, others will not be so good. You can decide.
The first of hopefully many posts. I have a penchant to write a lot and I seem to think better with a keyboard.
About this blog. I am a Follower of Christ. Some would say a Christian, but I feel that term has been used and abused so much in the last two thousand years. People hate it, their lips curl at it, and at once, I am judged to be someone or something different than I really am.
So, what do you think I am? A Christian or a Follower of Christ? Will you prejudge me before you know me? Will you be a hypocrite who accuses me of being a judgmental, imperfect, selfish, self-centered, prideful, arrogant man? Well, I have an answer to your accusations; I am imperfect, I can be selfish, self-centered, I can be arrogant and prideful and, yes (big shocker) I have been judgmental. I am, after all, a human being, prone to failure and crushing defeat, but I have faith in the One who is perfect in all ways that He will move me to change those traits.
To me, He is perfectly selfless, perfectly other-centered, humble and isn't judgmental, but does have the authority to judge us. His name is Jesus, Son of the Living God, and He is love, pure and simple. Welcome to my blog if you can stand reading about a Follower of Christ or Christian.
What will you see here? My journals to the Lord. Also, I will try to post what I feel/think I hear during my quiet time with Him. I won't post everything. Sometimes, what I feel is very personal and only He should know what is going on.
Finally, I will post psalms. Some will be good, others will not be so good. You can decide.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)