Getting used to change.

Me: Hi, my name is John.
Audience: Hi, John!
Me: And I'm blog owner who doesn't post...

Yep, that's me. I haven't posted very well or not at all during the past few days. I guess, I am trying to get used to the idea that I have a job. A real job. It takes up a lot of my time and when I get home, my mind and body are trashed. I also realized I haven't been getting into the Word very well, nor have I been spending good time with the Lord. All I can count on is His grace and love to let me recover and get order back to my life.

And I also realized I will have to get up earlier in the morning! That will be the only consistant time I will have to spend it with the Lord! I will also spend it exercising. I need to if I want to live and to be a good servant of the Lord.

Today, though, life was great! The work I did was good and I saved the client lots of money. I learned how to write up the numerous forms my new job requires. I was also given $300 today.

One of my small groups realized I was in need. You see, I will not get paid until the 14th and my bank accounts are nearly dry. I knew I wasn't going to make it until then and it would have ment little to no food. I was preparing for this and expecting to loose another 20 lbs- which wouldn't hurt me, but starvation isn't a good way to loose weight. Tonight, I was presented with this money and I realized it was from the Lord. I needed that money, but I didn't want to ask for it because I have been asking so much recently. But the Lord allowed my small group to see my need. They saw I needed clothes. They saw I had holes in my shoes. They saw I needed to be shown the Lords love.

I have no doubt in my mind that God exists. Because He does see, He does care, and He will take care of you.

Be at peace and may the Father bless your day tomorrow!

-Father in Heaven, Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit! You are awesome and worthy of all praise! Thank You Lord for loving me. Thank You Lord for being there for me! Thank You Lord for taking care of my sins! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

He calls His Sheep by Name

In John 10, I read about Jesus conversations with the Jews in the temple. He mentioned a parable about sheep and a Sheepherder. These sheep would know the voice of the Sheepherder and not of anyone else. He also mentioned that unless someone came through the Gate, they are not from the Sheepherder and the Sheepherder always comes to the Gate and the Gate will allow the sheep to leave the pen.

There was a symbolism I had known about, but something clicked today. Jesus is the Gate, and as He has mentioned through-out the Gospels, no one may get to the Father, except through Him. I have known this, but for some alien reason, I wasn't able to make it "click" in my thick noodle of a head.

This angered the Jews and many wanted to stone Him on the spot. Yet, they were curious about Him, was He the promised Messiah? Jesus told and showed them that He was and backed it up with scripture. Yet the Jews were upset that He said He was the Son of God. The Messiah could be anything, but the never realized that He would be the Son of God. It kills me how the human heart has such thick eye lids because God is so much brighter than we give Him credit for.

Have eyes that see, ears that hear, and a heart to feel.

This past weekend, I was involved with a Ministry called Feed the People out of Kansas City, MO. What was different about this time (and I have done it several times), we called 911 for a man that was injured or very ill. We also upset a pimp because we were in his parking spot infront of a shelter, while we were feeding these poor people. I find it hard to understand, but I should realize, I could have been just like him and I am very thankful to the Lord for making me more humble.

Also, pray for the hurting and the seeking tonight. They need your prayers so badly. I just wish I could be more comforting to them.

-My Lord, I want to pray for those who are broken hearted, who are hurting, who feel they are useless. Jesus, help them not to feel this way. Place people, or pets or something into their lives that will show them that there is meaning and purpose to life. If Your will allows it, help them to see You for the loving, merciful, and loving God that You are. Thank You Lord for making my heart open to these lost and seeking souls and I pray for Your awesome power to say and provide the words and things that will help them real You or at least help them recover. Lord, I love You and I ask for Your forgiveness for not giving more of my time to You this weekend. I really wanted to show my gratitude for the job and to say, I love You! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

He is good, so good.

My God is good.
The Lord takes care of me.
He loves me more than I will ever know.
He enjoys me and delights in me.
His joy fills my soul.
My heart screams out to Him, Hosanna!

The Lord is more than rock
He is the whole world and beyond!
The purpose of life is serving His will!
I will do it gladly, for I am His.
The Lord has saved me from ruin.
The Lord has given me a blessing so fine
I can not fathom the totality it all!

I love the Lord because He loves me more!

My first day at work was today and I am very happy! I got a work vehicle to drive from home to work and everywhere else! All I can say is, God is good and this job is from Him!

Why do I know this? I got a call from a school district about a month ago telling me to apply for a position. They liked my experience and really wanted me. So I applied online and ran into problems during submittal of my information. I tried again and it looked like it was accepted. I then left it at that. Today, I got a call from them asking why I didn't apply and I told them what happened. I also told them I has accepted a position with Goetze Dental. I think she was wanting to hire me on the spot until she found out the options I got with this job. Again, it was the Lord in action on this. This job is from Him and I will be perfect for it!

-Lord, I am thankful for the work today and the chance to work! I know I have many things to change in my schedule to deal with this, but I know I will be able to adapt. Thank You so much, because I know You truly care for Your children! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Busy, part deu

I was at my sister's house again today, but I didn't have the luxury of staying at her house. Also, my church was having a Wednesday night service and I really wanted to go and give praise and thanks to the Lord for the job (barely made it!).

Then I committed myself to the Lord again for a new step in my life, my health. And I lost my ATM/Debit card. Boy, when the pastor said today, being a Christian is hard and the closer you get to the Lord, the harder it gets. It didn't take long for trouble to begin!

Have a great day!

A new life.

God has given me a new life today. I feel...excited! Like a new period or era has been opened up. It's like going into a fantastically beautiful house and walking into the most amazing room in the world! I mean, this room holds so much promise! There is no limit to the beauty and there was SO MUCH SPACE! And yes, I am speaking in "!" with these sentences.

I've been exposed to His awesome grace and mercy today too. Nothing can compare what I have been through today! In fact, I barely remember it. This is His day, not mine... nor will any of the others.

I am listening to Barlow Girl, Another Journal Entry, "Never Alone (acoustic version)." This song explains some of what I have been going through over the past several months.
I waited for you today,
I guess you didn't show
No-no
I needed you, today
So where did you go
So I made a call,
Said you be there
And though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you
By my side so
I'll hold tight to
What I know
You're here
And never alone.

And though I can't see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep
Reassurance, yeah
You've placed in my life, oh
We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen.

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you
By my side so
I'll hold tight to
What I know
You're here
And never alone.

As of a couple of days ago, I didn't feel God for a long time. I have experienced my first "face turning". Or in other words, the Lord stopped directly looking at me. He does this to everyone and does it many times in our lives, so that we can have faith in Him and not our feelings of Him. I hope you understand my meaning on this.

I have been reading some great things on some other blogs/journals and I have felt for these people. They have exposed themselves, their hearts, to millions of people. There is nothing to hide, unless they choose to. Because we all have some very private things we don't have to share, unless you are that bold.

Which I have seen some "exceptionally" open people. I won't link to them, because it was a huge mistake on my part to even look. In fact, I had to wipe out my browser cache because of it. There are people out there who truly seek idol worship of themselves.

But, my eyes have read the heart of a person that is truly beautiful. A heart that is seeking something... almost waiting. This heart knows God, very well and isn't afraid of what life throws their way. This heart is on a island and wants to get off, but God has other plans. So they wait. I wonder if God will allow other hearts to visit them? Will the stranded heart even accept visitors? Only the Lord knows and this can only be left up to Him.

Good night everyone and may God bless your day tomorrow with what you need.

I fell on my face.

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I now have a job! It's been a long time, very long time. I am a new employee of Goetze Dental's- Technology Division. Compared to previous pay, it is very low, but my expenses are so small now, I have nothing to fear!

Upon getting home, I fell on my face and thanked the Lord! And I cried my head off because of it! There is a God and His name is Jesus/God the Father/Holy Spirit, and without Him, nothing is possible!

May all of you have a blessed day tomorrow! May all of you feel His peace and joy!

Flexibility

I was reading in Matthew Chapter 12 and I came upon something that just spoke volumes to me about how free we truly are... EVEN BEFORE CHRIST EVER CAME TO THIS EARTH!

Jesus, as some of you know, knew the deal. The Jewish leaders didn't and they had twisted the Law so much, no wonder God was upset with them. In Matt 12:6-8 Jesus says to the Pharisees, "There is far more at stake here than religion. If you had any idea what this Scripture meant- 'I prefer a flexible heart to an infelxible ritual'- you wouldn't be nitpickling like this. The Son of Man is not lackey to the Sabbath; he's in charge." (MSG)

Do you know what this means? And this isn't about the Sabbath, but how many believers have these "inflexible rituals" in their lives? To be sure, I looked it up in my NIV bible to see what scripture Jesus was refrencing: 1 Samuel 15:22,23; Psalm 40:6-8; Isaiah 1:11-17; Jeremiah 7:21-23; Hosea 6:6 {which Jesus directly talks about}). This has been mentioned by the Lord and explained to His people for hundreds of years. Freedom! Yet, they didn't get it. It took God Himself to spell this out, even though it was written by His prophets for years.

We are free to love the Lord with an open heart. Inflexible rituals are not what He wants. It's a relationship, not dogma or religious stiffness. I also was reading the beatitudes and Jesus was pointing out that people are blessed when you can "...show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight." (Matt. 5:9, MSG) That is a desire of mine, if the Lord will let me have it, to show people we are to love one another, not to condemn them for "being an alcoholic, drug addict, or gay." Everyone, and I mean this, everyone is deserving of God's love! Even if they hate Him.

--Dear Lord it breaks my heart to know there are people who claim to love You, yet contain so much hate towards others that "don't fit." You are love, You made us in love, You died for each in love, and You continue to love, reguardless. You also will accept each unconditionally, just as I , and anyone else, accepted You unconditionally. That is the only rule You have for each, in order to have You in their lives. I feel for those that hate You because they are missing out on so much. I feel for those who have been twisted by the minds of men or women that haven't truly discovered the love You want us to share to others. I feel for those that have read about Your love, but have become the seed tossed upon rocky soil, and die quickly when they realize it takes a lot energy to do this. I will not be fake and say it is easy to love the unlovable, it's hard, very hard, but I know You'll give us that energy to feed these people the Living, Loving Water that flows from You! Many months ago, You told me to hand back my spiritual cup... to give me a spiritual bucket. Soon, and You know this, I will need something bigger. Thank You Lord for letting me drink in Your awesome love. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

Another interview.

Today, the Lord gave me a gift of another job interview. It is with the same company as before, and this is the final one. Today, I give that interview up to Him. If I don't get it, then I know the Lord has something better. I can do the work and I can be good a fit for this company, but only He knows the path and future I am to have. He is God and He is in control, I have given myself to Him, and He has accepted me.

I just hope I don't get gas during the interview! Oh, what a sense of humor my God has!

Be Complete.

Today, I was reading a book called "Good Morning God", by Pamela Steinke. It is broken into little paragraphs for each day of the year and they are from her quiet time she had with the Lord and this was what she wrote. This one was dated Feb. 27th.

"Give Me all your concerns. Then do not pick them up again. When you give them to Me, I take them. I do not walk away from your outstretched hand. I take what is in it! I take it for My own and I deal with it. I use miraculous means if I must, but I do deal with it in the best possible way. How foolish for you to take it back again even for a moment. Leave all this with Me. I am your salvation. I am your love, I am your life-I am all to you. Rejoice in My love! Rest in My greatness which is displayed on your behalf. Be complete in Me, for I am your completion. I am all that you seek, all that you hunger and thirst for, all that your spirit cries out to have, all that your soul yearns to possess. I AM."

Again, this isn't from me, but she felt is was from the Lord and wrote it down. I have read this book virtually every morning for the last year and it has changed my life. I don't hold it equal to the bible, but I consider it part of my private time with the Lord. And He has spoken to me through this book. What is interesting is, a woman in the Philippines sent it to me, yet it was first published in the U.S. 15 years ago.

Today, it did help me. I gave the Lord my concerns and what was bothering me and He is keeping them away! I am thankful for a Lord that does love me so much to declare such a paragraph to a woman from Pennsylvania over 15 years ago to help a woman in the Philippines to help a man in Kansas... I just love Him so much because of this and how far reaching His plans truly are!!! He is a God who sees and cares for His children!

Hallelujah!

--Dear Father, this day, I gave you my concerns, my bothering thoughts. Some of these thoughts I brough upon myself, but You did take them away and you cleared my mind! I will always be Yours and my heart screams out in joy at Your awesome hand in my life. I want to do what you want me to do, and I constantly look for Your guidance and direction. Use me, use me, use. And yeah, I know that is a dangerous thing to pray for, but You know, I am Your man! I was reading in Matt 9:35-38 and I felt Your impressions upon me when I read part of those passages: "...When He looked out over the crowds, His heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd." Lord, I know there are people out there that have never heard of You, never given You a thought, never consider You because of someone else not expressing the Good News to them in a way they can understand. If it isn't me to help others, then I pray I can encourage others to bring people to You! Today, You have me more than I have ever felt! Today, I can FEEL YOU! Thank You Father for turning Your face towards me and looking at me! I haven't felt You in months!!! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!!!!!!!!!

Keeping my promise.

Yesterday, I got a call from my sister and she was needing additional help on her home. I told her I would help this Tuesday and Wednesday.

Today, I got a call from a company I was interviewing with for the past few weeks and they want to see me tomorrow. It wouldn't be so bad, but my sister's new home is an hour away from my apartment and this company is about 35 minutes from me. That is bad, because the gas expense would be too much. I own a truck that consumes buckets of gas a minute, so my concern is justified (hey, God uses it to help people and I am more than happy to do so).

To me, I want to keep my promises! Integrity is VERY important to me. In the past, I had no integrity and dirt had more value than my promises. So I told the company I would call them back because I had made a promise to my sister.

They were very understanding and I hope they see that is a good quality in me. But, I didn't have to worry because my sister was OK with it and the company will see me tomorrow! *Glee!*

Am I a geek?

I am 41% Geek.

You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing.

Take the
Geek Test
@ FualiDotCom

This was really funny! Also the photo isn't me, I shave.

A log in your eye.

You do realize Jesus had a sense of humor? I read a book by Beth Moore called "Jesus, The One and Only" and I was struck by her analysis of Jesus the man. All movies (except "Passion for the Christ"- that was about as accurate I have seen so far) and most pictures portray Jesus as this small and frail man, with blue eyes and long straight hair. Most of the time, you see people just liking Him and being happy, not by how He got them to be happy. I know the Lord has an awesome sense of humor and while He was on earth, He would have used it. Everyone knows, we like to hang around people that make us happy or laugh, and God would be perfect at doing that!

Another thing Beth wrote about was most likely how Jesus would have looked and she based this on scripture. In Luke 2:52, it states, "He grew in wisdom and stature...", which to her meant He grew in physical size. Plus, Jesus was a carpenter, so He would have been very muscular. Wood workers in those days had to make boards from scratch because there weren't local hardware stores with pre-cut planks of wood. So, Jesus was a big, strong man, with brown hair and eyes. That last bit was put in because the University of Jerusalem released a composite photo of what Jesus might have looked like. It was based on numerous skull scans of Jews from that period. He looked slightly Arab, but the biggest thing I noticed was the hair!

In that period, Jews kept their hair short, about high neck length and out of the face. Also, since Jesus was Jewish, His hair would have been curly. Then His eye color would have been brown because all the people in that region (except for the Romans) looked Arabic, with light brown skin, black/brown curly hair, curly beard, and dark eyes. To confirm this, all first to the third century churches displayed images of Jesus with short curly hair and brown eyes. It wasn't until the Romans accepted Jesus did they "Romanize" Him.

Now, I am not trying to demonize the Roman Catholic church, because it was ruled by a different set of men then. But I think many people need to realize, Christ was Middle Eastern so Christianity came from the Middle East, not from the West like many feel or believe. Back to the point here...

Jesus was a slightly above average man in size and He must have been average looking. Why? Because the Father wouldn't want people to be attracted to Him based solely on His looks. You had to know Jesus first before you would follow Him. Which points to my first point, He must have a fantastic sense of humor and personality for people to follow Him so easily. And Jesus was talking to many people when He mentioned Matt 7:1-12. His humor was evident in Matt. 7:3, "And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?"

To me, that was hilarious! The idea of finding a log tucked inside of your eyelid made me laugh. But He made a good point; Why rip on someone else's issues when you have just as many or worse issues of your own? Basically, He is saying stop picking on each other and shut-up. Words are like the blows of a sword on a person's spirit and your tongue is that sword. Or how about this, don't be judgmental unless you want to be judged yourself?

-Dear Lord, it has come to this point, late in the evening, to discuss Your word, Matt 7:3. It makes common sense to not point out other people's faults when we have just as many. I know, because I have been judgmental in the past and have seen the impact of my actions. I pray Lord for your guidance to end this attitude, once and for all! I know I can still be somewhat judgmental and I don't like it. Please forgive me for ever being this way and I seek Your grace and love to help others be accepted and not be judged. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Updates.

Just wanted to let anyone know, I have updated the Marriage post. I started reading it and realized I didn't spell out a point very well. I hope it clears up anything you might have.

Then again, I might have ticked off whatever readers I might have!

Psalm dated 2-25-06

I know You are the One.
I know You are in my heart.
You build it up to face the curel world
You prepare it to be there for those in need.
I am Your tool and I don't care.
I am Your son and I do care.
Your love reflects through me
To show others what life can be
With You in a man's soul
Fanning the passion flame's coals,
Nothing can stop the love
That comes from above.
I want to help others see You as someone
Who will always be there for them
And not run away from the horrors of life
But to confront them with Your Holy Might.
There is nothing for us to fear
With You holding us so dear.
My Lord, I love You and want You,
I desire Your love and crave Your peace
Because I know without it I am not complete.
You want me for Your own will
And I am happy to give all I can.
For I know You will do greater still
With the little I give is part of Your plan.

Psalm Dated 2-24-06

Am I doing what You want me to do?
Should I be doing something else?
My heart screams out in utter confusion
I die minute by minute because of my loss
Of the time I spent with You enveloped
In the middle of Your holy arms protected
From the mad thrashings of the Devil
As he hates his loss of my downfall.
You protected me from so much more
Than I can ever see or dream.
You were there, covering my core
From my own self-centeredness, from my selfishness
From my own darkness.
YOU are the light that blots out the pain in my soul
And You hold on to me so tightly and have never let go.
I am Yours.
My heart is Yours.
I belong to no other
For I know there can be no better
Way to live life as a man under your care.
Who knows my heart and its ways?
Who can see the future and plot a path
That is so perfect and so good
I shouldn't loose my way.

I love You Lord! I try to put You first in what I do.
I need You and Your guidance
Towards a life You want me to enjoy
For You put us on this earth to love You
Our neighbors and ourselves.
You put us on this earth to help the ones
Who suffer needlessly under the yoke of dictators,
Despots, and cheaters.
Much suffering can be removed if we
Lost the greed that prevails many lives.
Much suffering can be removed if we
Just cared.

Lord, I want to be able to speak to anyone on this world
To show them the way of Your holy Word
They need to know Your love for them
And Your desire a relationship that isn't a religion
You want our hearts and I hope many will give
To be in Your light and truly live!

Proverbs 23

I read the book of Proverbs often. There are some very good bits of wisdom there and it is relevant to things of today. What is interesting about this book are the 31 chapters, which to me means a chapter a day and you get through the whole thing in a month.

Proverbs 23 contains part of The 30 Precepts of the Sages and what got me was #18. This precept primarily talks about wine and drunkenness. If you really read between the lines, it talks about not judging things by their covers, even first impressions, but first get to know it intimately and how it will treat you later. Then you can decide if it is the type of thing you should have in your life. This can also apply to people.

I will be honest and say, not everyone gets along and God knows that, and He does put hard people into our lives to see how we handle them. I heard a pastor called them "holy sandpaper people". Even 10 grit sandpaper doesn't compare to some people I have experienced in my life. I guess you can call them "holy grinder people". They are so course, any rough edges on your life, soul and attitudes will be removed, but as grinders can do, they also damage the good things. So what are we to do? Love them as best as we can and pray for them.

Does that mean I am to remain in contact with them? Well, that is a hard one to answer. If the Lord really wants you to help them, then do your best. Pull away as needed to get a breather and ask others to pray with you about this person, and even yourself. Patience, peace and godly courage are needed to help these hurting souls. I have seen very bitter and crass men turn into loving, strong men, and the same has happened to women too. But remember, we are all unique (as I stated in a previous post) and not everyone's tastes are the same.

I will also reiterate my previous statement, I AM NOT PERFECT! I have left people behind because I didn't have the skills or the temperament to deal with them. Plus, my patience wasn't like it is now. I used to hate really difficult people, now I know better how to deal with them. Most of the time, it depends on the person. Some people, I have to say, seem intent on making like horrid for everyone else.

So, will I be judged by my exterior looks and up front demeanor? Or will someone take the time to know me personally and then decide? Can they accept I am trying to be real and let people know I am imperfect? And if a fellow believer comes and looks that this and says, "I am not like this", then maybe they shouldn't read this blog anymore, re-examine themselves, and really see if they are a "real follower of Christ" or not. Denial is a sin too! Open your hearts to the healing light of the Lord and He will pluck out the darkness that hides there, like zits on a face! But He will only do that if you open up to Him. That step is yours to make.

-My Father in Heaven, this post will upset people and turn others away, but I hope it plants a seed in their hearts that can open doors to Your healing light. I pray for the people who struggle daily with those that are hard to love and I hope Your awesome compassion for these hurt souls fills those who deal with them.
-Lord, I know I am not perfect and I have had many failures and not much success. What I hope for is Your constant love, encouragement and joy to fill my soul and spirit to face the difficult people You allow into my life. Thank You Lord for giving the chance to build patience, a giving heart, and a life with You lighting my way. In Your Son's name I pray, Amen.

Wait.

I am discovering more and more, I am to wait. God wants me to wait and to wait patiently because He will provide.

That line of thinking is so counter to our culture of "hurry-up and wait and get ticked off because they are taking too darn long!!" What happened to "good things come to those who wait"? As so many things that have happened to me (and I see happen to others) the business of our culture seems to suck the life out of you. I know it does, because it almost did me in!

Americans lead busy lives. We think we can pack a billion things into a million spots. There are people out there who claim they can do all these things in one day and it makes others envious because they want to do lots of things in a day. Well, I have news for everyone... And I'm trying to put this lightly... You are not them, they are not you, so what does it matter what they can do?

Every person is unique, period. Sure, there might be similarities between people, but not everyone has the same makeup of genes and DNA. In fact, a person might be from a family and be just like them in everyway, but there will always be something unique that wasn't part of that family gene pool. Case in point: Every member of my family is very analytical and we are good at focusing our energies into our work. But each of us have very different tastes in music, manners and attitudes. So, where does this lead us? You are unique and you are made that way on purpose.

God is in control and He will make a child have similar traits and attributes of the parents, but He also sews in that unique pattern that gives a child "I am me" thoughts. As we all grow older, each person develops or discovers their talents and gifts. Some people can multitask, but not focus on any one thing very well. While others can concentrate on a subject and complete it with excellent results, but can't stand and breathe at the same time. These are generalizations, and I hope you get my point. So instead of doing what the Joneses are doing, why don't you do what you like to do?

Back to the topic: Waiting. I am to wait for everything. Wait for a job. Wait for His command to point me in the direction He wants me to go. Wait for Him to decide what is to become of my life. Wait. Why? He wants to teach me patience.

Normally, I am a very patient guy. To some, almost too patient. It seems the Lord wants to stretch it out more. You know, I love Him, but some times I can stand it when He does this. I love to advance through things, move forward, "take the next hill" type of guy, but this period of "nothingness" or "blah" is such a let down! It really questions your own abilities and can undermine your confidence. But still I must wait. I feel like a seven year old on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa!

-Lord, I want to give you praise for my small group leader's victory in court over custody of his children. You were that judge and the holy spirit really did speak through Louis' voice. That was your court that day and there was nothing that would change the situation. You were in control. Father, I pray for Louis' family needs and I hope they are provided for. He is Your son and I know You love him, help him Lord!
-I pray Lord for patience and peace. I am a griper and a complainer, and I hope to loose those "features" soon. I know life isn't perfect and there will always be something that will cause friction in my life. I just pray for patience because I know, and have to constantly remind myself, You are in control. My life is Yours, I have written it here, I have written it elsewhere, and I have etched it into my heart "I am YOURS." I want You, crave You, desire You, and NEED YOU! You are important to me and I hate, and I mean hate, the busyness of my days. Help me build margin into this life so I can live life for You. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

For Real

This morning, while I was praying for the Lord's blessing upon my breakfast, a voice popped into my head. Of all things, as I was thanking the Lord for this day and hope to do what He wants me to do and for His caring for me, I was being mocked! This voice was saying, "You are doing everything for your own ends and you don't really love the Lord! You're a fake!" It continued to attack me as I prayed. I became angry during my meal as I thought about that voice.

I determined this: If the Lord thought I was fake (and He would know), then I pray He would release me so the world can deal with my "fakeness". Also I prayed that He wouldn't love and care for me anymore, if I was fake.

Yet, as soon as I made that prayer, I got a response, it said, "You are not fake. You genuinely love the Lord and have a heart for Him. He loves you fiercely and would do anything to care for you! Even if you were fake, He would still love and try to care for you."

I don't ever want to be considered a fake. I have been accused, many times, of not being real or having other motives. Such words have hurt in the past when I really was trying to help. I am a surface thinker and rarely go below what I mean. I guess I say what is on my mind or I lack tactfulness. It has taken me years to acquire a decent filter to make sure I'm not such a "smack in the face" type of guy. Sure, it isn't perfect, but who is, except Jesus? I just don't want to be fake, and that is my prayer today, to be real, full of heart, and love!

So what does it mean to be real? Well, having interests in things that other people think Christians shouldn't like, secular movies, secular books (like Harry Potter), loud hard rocking music (Christian or secular), or a lust for life! There are too many times people have looked at me and thought I wasn't a real Christian because of these things. Well, I have news for you, God will use anything to get His message across to people. God is not above using something that is evil to fight evil, i.e. the Babylonians attacking Assyria and attacking corrupt Israel. I know He is using the Harry Potter books to put out a message. I have read it and its plain as day! These words popped out to me, "Sometimes you have to do something the hard way." I mean, C.S. Lewis, a beloved Christian author, wrote books that had witches, non-human creatures and spells! Even Lord of the Rings has a message from the Lord in it! (C.S. Lewis and J.R. Tolkien were pub buddies when they wrote their famous books.)

I am real and I refuse to be a legalistic Christian with Do's and Don't's in my life. Not some sort of "cookie cutter", emotionless, actionless, joyless person, but someone with life! Everyone is different and unique, with special gifts and traits. Some are good, some are bad, but we are ultimately each other's neighbors. Instead of pointing out my faults, look at the cracks in your life first and when you are done, don't say anymore because you would be considered a judgmental person. Enjoy your life!

-Dear Lord, I want to be real. Real for You and for others. I hope that is a good "want" to have because I don't want to be fake. I want to be able to develop deep friendships with people, not the surface kind that so many make at church these days! Make me into a man that thirsts to seek Your heart and the hearts of others for You! Make me into a man with a passion and lust for life abundant, a life full of joy, a life without darkness! Open my heart to help others and to serve their needs because I want to be Your model for others to see. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Prophesy

Today, I was reading Ezekiel Chapter 38-39. What struck me about these chapters was how vivid the Lord's words were. What also struck me was how close His words were matching what is going on today.

I have read Revelations and other prophesy books. What many of these writers didn't know was the technology or political aspect of how the Antichrist is going to assert his power. There are several things that need to occur before the true beginning of Tribulation.

1. Israel has to become a country (which has happened).
2. Gog and Magog have to attack (which hasn't happened).
3. Rise of the Antichrist.
4. Tribulation (biblical scholars are not sure if Christians will be taken before or after the Lord's Judgments).

The Lord has revealed things to me and others about what is happening now and how they relate to scripture. Israel's fight with the Palestinians, Russia's power shift, Iraq's struggle to become a unified country, and RFID tags. I leave this up to you to discern these words for yourself. I don't claim to be a prophet of the Lord because all of this has already been written and if you are a Christian, you know the Lord doesn't like to repeat Himself. :)

As most of you know, Israel has been fighting the Palestinians for many years. They have also endured numerous attacks and thousands of innocent people have been killed. All of these attacks have provoked Israel into attacking. Well, I should be honest, even the Israelites haven't been too nice either. But with Hamas taking over in Gaza, this doesn't bode well. Then there is Mr. Sharon becoming ill, right after Israel pulled people out of the Westbank and parts of Gaza. The Lord gave all of that area to His people. I have to wonder if He was angered over their choice to leave those parts? Only He knows. Now, the Israelites left and expected peace. If God did approve, peace would be there. Well, they didn't get peace and got more bloodshed and murder. In fact, Hamas, who is a very militant group and has repeatedly called for the destruction of Israel, is in charge of Palestine! Watch this carefully because I think they are going to push Israel into full war and Hamas is going to loose.

I think this will cause other countries to get angry and raise up an army and attack Israel. Many countries are upset at the US over Iraq. So I wouldn't doubt they would attack them just to do it, since Israel is a thorn to many countries sides. I say this because the Lord so clearly points this out in Ezekiel 38-39. Ezekiel 38:8 "In the distant future you'll arrive at a country that has recovered from a devastating war." (MSG) To me this points to Lebanon or Iraq, but I feel it is Lebanon since it is North of Israel and Ezekiel mentions several countries coming from that direction. Also, Iran is mentioned and considering what their leader said about Israel, they would "LOVE" to be there. Considering all that I have mentioned, read those two chapters. I have the Message Remix edition, but I have read similar words from other versions of the bible.

Have eyes that see, have ears that hear and a mind that understands, but do not fear for the Lord is coming.

The last thing I want to mention is Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) tags. These little devices were invented back in WW II, but are just being put into use with in the last 10 years. Many of you might work at companies that require you to have these thin cards that you wave at a wall plate and it lets you into a door. Those are called RFID cards. The new versions of these are tiny little tags that can be put onto boxes or clothes and can be read where ever you go. They also have an implantable version. Spooky, heh? Read Rev. 13:16-18 to understand.

These implantable versions are being used already in Mexico's government to prevent forgery of ID's. In Spain, they are being used to put food and drinks on tabs at bars and there are lots of people using them. Some kids in California are using them for security reasons on their home PCs as the tags are injected into their hands. They even got their girlfriends to get injected. Just recently, a security company in Chicago required their employees to get injected with the tags if they want access to the datacenter of their network.

Have eyes that see, have ears that hear and a mind that understands, but do not fear for the Lord is coming. Don't freak out and don't go yelling through the streets about this. Just understand and see the signs. The Day of the Lord is coming!

-Lord, I give thanks for the successful interview that I had today. I give thanks for the additional interview I will have this week with the same company. I also give thanks for the water pipe break at one of my client's locations. It means more money to make ends meet and it shows just how much You love me and want to take care of me. I laugh at this because they haven't called me in so long and I am in need of money. Thank You Father. I also pray for my small group leader and his family. Father, he needs your help, but he also needs to know what You want him to do. You have something special planned for him and I so want to help him, if You'll let me. Help him find money Lord. Help him find help to be helped. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Busy, very busy!

Wow!
What a busy weekend and I was hardly able to keep up. Then again, I have become more simple in how I handle my life now. God wanted me to declutter and I feel that I have done that very well.

I rebuilt a DVD/CD duplicator, basically from scratch. I video taped and photographed a wedding. I did some work with a new art program called Painter 9, which is very powerful! I also have a job interview this morning!

Am I nervious? Not really. I gave it up to the Lord, which He is telling me I need to get a move-on and get ready. I did want to say this, He is very good. He is so good, that nothing compares. I fully realize, life cannot happen without Him. That is how important He is. I feel sorry for all of those people that have been force fed legalistic Christianity, because they might not never know the truth the Lord has to say. I say this because I was a legalistic Christian and force fed someone very close to me and they ran away. I am partly to blame for that, but ultimately, it was their choice on the actions they chose.

Anyway, life is good, though is hard and can be a pain. I just know the Lord has a plan and will guide me to that point where He wants me to be.

I love the Lord. I want Him in my life. I desire His love and I crave His attention, which He gives it abundantly!! Have a blessed day!

-Lord I pray for my sister and her family! Lord, please, remove this burden that has been put on them! Help them resolve the troubles they are experiencing with their current business home. Help them find a new place quickly and let me be of help to them! Even though I don't have the money to afford to drive where they are at, I know You will find a way, if that is Your will! Use me to help them. Give me strength and a strong back to handle the work that will be required of me! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.