For Real

This morning, while I was praying for the Lord's blessing upon my breakfast, a voice popped into my head. Of all things, as I was thanking the Lord for this day and hope to do what He wants me to do and for His caring for me, I was being mocked! This voice was saying, "You are doing everything for your own ends and you don't really love the Lord! You're a fake!" It continued to attack me as I prayed. I became angry during my meal as I thought about that voice.

I determined this: If the Lord thought I was fake (and He would know), then I pray He would release me so the world can deal with my "fakeness". Also I prayed that He wouldn't love and care for me anymore, if I was fake.

Yet, as soon as I made that prayer, I got a response, it said, "You are not fake. You genuinely love the Lord and have a heart for Him. He loves you fiercely and would do anything to care for you! Even if you were fake, He would still love and try to care for you."

I don't ever want to be considered a fake. I have been accused, many times, of not being real or having other motives. Such words have hurt in the past when I really was trying to help. I am a surface thinker and rarely go below what I mean. I guess I say what is on my mind or I lack tactfulness. It has taken me years to acquire a decent filter to make sure I'm not such a "smack in the face" type of guy. Sure, it isn't perfect, but who is, except Jesus? I just don't want to be fake, and that is my prayer today, to be real, full of heart, and love!

So what does it mean to be real? Well, having interests in things that other people think Christians shouldn't like, secular movies, secular books (like Harry Potter), loud hard rocking music (Christian or secular), or a lust for life! There are too many times people have looked at me and thought I wasn't a real Christian because of these things. Well, I have news for you, God will use anything to get His message across to people. God is not above using something that is evil to fight evil, i.e. the Babylonians attacking Assyria and attacking corrupt Israel. I know He is using the Harry Potter books to put out a message. I have read it and its plain as day! These words popped out to me, "Sometimes you have to do something the hard way." I mean, C.S. Lewis, a beloved Christian author, wrote books that had witches, non-human creatures and spells! Even Lord of the Rings has a message from the Lord in it! (C.S. Lewis and J.R. Tolkien were pub buddies when they wrote their famous books.)

I am real and I refuse to be a legalistic Christian with Do's and Don't's in my life. Not some sort of "cookie cutter", emotionless, actionless, joyless person, but someone with life! Everyone is different and unique, with special gifts and traits. Some are good, some are bad, but we are ultimately each other's neighbors. Instead of pointing out my faults, look at the cracks in your life first and when you are done, don't say anymore because you would be considered a judgmental person. Enjoy your life!

-Dear Lord, I want to be real. Real for You and for others. I hope that is a good "want" to have because I don't want to be fake. I want to be able to develop deep friendships with people, not the surface kind that so many make at church these days! Make me into a man that thirsts to seek Your heart and the hearts of others for You! Make me into a man with a passion and lust for life abundant, a life full of joy, a life without darkness! Open my heart to help others and to serve their needs because I want to be Your model for others to see. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.