Many are the ones who have come to know God, but only a few will truly take the time to know Him. It isn't about religion and anyone who says that it is full of crap. God wants a one-on-one relationship with you. Not with the "thees" and "thous" and the "have nots" and "can nots" of your life. Those are barriers between Him and you.
A true relationship. How complex is that? It's not, when you think about it. It's open, free and you can be absolutely yourself. Anything else is a hurdle you will have to leap over in the future. I mean, why believe you have to do good things to get into heaven when it really is how well of a relationship you have with the One who created you? I mean, the moment I do something bad- and we all have done something bad- and if you say you haven't, then you're lying :) which is something bad! Anyways, when you do something bad, you can't get into heaven. Because heaven is perfect. Nothing bad is allowed there. But, having a relationship with the Lord means He lets His friends live with Him. I am not sure how much more simpler I can put it.
Does having a relationship with God mean that life will be better? Not really. Some will see no difference, others will experience a much improved life over existing circumstances and some will appear to have a far worse life. I am an example of someone having a "worse" life, but I feel it is much better and more enjoyable! Life can be boring, if we get too comfortable. God knows that happens, so He routinely "shakes" me up once in awhile.
I used to "boo-hoo" my life, now I don't. I just say, I was a horrible person and the Lord wanted me and corrected me.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Dreamscape
Dreamscape here I come!
Here it is...a dream that might seem to be completely strange, but you can decide:
I was in a large house, with endless amounts of rooms and was full of fun things to do. A Father and a Son lived there, as did a few kids. The Father was popular as people/reporters were asking Him lots of questions, even though He was very busy. Even the Son was asked a few too. They seemed to answer them and still went about their business. They were never unaproachable.
The house was meant to be fully explored and enjoyed. Me and the kids always ran through-out the house, with the Father or Son enjoying it with us. It was heaven! Then, one day, while me and several other kids were playing on an Escher style staircase, the lights turned off at the foot of the steps. We went to investigate.
It was dark, and what light was there was being swallowed up by the darkness. It felt evil, malevolent, suffocating. We searched for the Father, but He wasn't there. We searched for the Son, He wasn't there either. We cried out to Them, but they weren't there. But the evil was surrounding us, closing in, preparing to take us...devour us.
Then I woke up and I realized there was a purpose to the dream. Do you understand it? I think I do.
Here it is...a dream that might seem to be completely strange, but you can decide:
I was in a large house, with endless amounts of rooms and was full of fun things to do. A Father and a Son lived there, as did a few kids. The Father was popular as people/reporters were asking Him lots of questions, even though He was very busy. Even the Son was asked a few too. They seemed to answer them and still went about their business. They were never unaproachable.
The house was meant to be fully explored and enjoyed. Me and the kids always ran through-out the house, with the Father or Son enjoying it with us. It was heaven! Then, one day, while me and several other kids were playing on an Escher style staircase, the lights turned off at the foot of the steps. We went to investigate.
It was dark, and what light was there was being swallowed up by the darkness. It felt evil, malevolent, suffocating. We searched for the Father, but He wasn't there. We searched for the Son, He wasn't there either. We cried out to Them, but they weren't there. But the evil was surrounding us, closing in, preparing to take us...devour us.
Then I woke up and I realized there was a purpose to the dream. Do you understand it? I think I do.
From long ago, in a life, far away.
Back when I was married. Back when I had a house. Back when I thought I was something (now, I know better). I was on the eighth month of my year and a-half of unemployment, I had an amazing dream. This happened right after I started going back to church and getting into studying the bible.
I was in a room, comfortable, warm, pleasant, and nearly perfect. My friends and then-wife were there, oddly, dressed like people from around first century Israel. We were enjoying conversations of excellent quality, and our friendship seemed genuine!
Then, one of the walls of room just fell away and exposed a world much different than what was inside. I immediately walked through the hole. The world was gray and there were mountains in the distance. There was rubble under my feet. Great hunks of buildings and homes were heaped under the comfortable room. In fact, the stark contrast between what was inside the room and what was outside was incredible. The sky was overcast with thick unending clouds, but enough light was allowed through so as to see what was in the distance.
I walk and stumble upon the uneven ground, nearly falling several times, I decide to stop and take a long look back at the comfortable room. Through the opening in the wall, warm light spills out onto the gray chunky debris, but it doesn't travel far before being swallowed by the power of the world. I see my friends and then-wife looking outside and staying well within the hole. I yell, "Come outside! There is NOTHING to fear, for the Lord is with you and He will take care of you! For He loves you very, very much!" But they don't come.
I turn and continue my trek over the rocky ground and I see a man, just standing in the ruins of a building. To call it a ruin would be a misnomer as all can be seen are the girders and 2nd floor "floor". And it was all clean and clear of any dirt and rubble. The man was dressed in head to toe in the finest looking clothing I've seen, if I lived in first century Israel. And what made it even more amazing, was the color! He was resplendent in the most beautiful of color and the darkness of the world couldn't touch him.
I walked up to him and he looked like he was expecting me. Strangely, we had a conversation (of which I don't remember), but I know, we become good friends.
I was in a room, comfortable, warm, pleasant, and nearly perfect. My friends and then-wife were there, oddly, dressed like people from around first century Israel. We were enjoying conversations of excellent quality, and our friendship seemed genuine!
Then, one of the walls of room just fell away and exposed a world much different than what was inside. I immediately walked through the hole. The world was gray and there were mountains in the distance. There was rubble under my feet. Great hunks of buildings and homes were heaped under the comfortable room. In fact, the stark contrast between what was inside the room and what was outside was incredible. The sky was overcast with thick unending clouds, but enough light was allowed through so as to see what was in the distance.
I walk and stumble upon the uneven ground, nearly falling several times, I decide to stop and take a long look back at the comfortable room. Through the opening in the wall, warm light spills out onto the gray chunky debris, but it doesn't travel far before being swallowed by the power of the world. I see my friends and then-wife looking outside and staying well within the hole. I yell, "Come outside! There is NOTHING to fear, for the Lord is with you and He will take care of you! For He loves you very, very much!" But they don't come.
I turn and continue my trek over the rocky ground and I see a man, just standing in the ruins of a building. To call it a ruin would be a misnomer as all can be seen are the girders and 2nd floor "floor". And it was all clean and clear of any dirt and rubble. The man was dressed in head to toe in the finest looking clothing I've seen, if I lived in first century Israel. And what made it even more amazing, was the color! He was resplendent in the most beautiful of color and the darkness of the world couldn't touch him.
I walked up to him and he looked like he was expecting me. Strangely, we had a conversation (of which I don't remember), but I know, we become good friends.
Monday, September 25, 2006
My dream from 9-25-06
I had a dream that deserves attention and it is important for I feel it is from the Lord. This is what it contains:
I was in Japan, with school teachers, numbering four. They are Westerners and the group was close.
I was amazed at how much Japan allows women to be girly and frilly. Most girls were dressed in colorful clothes that sparkled and twinkled. The clothes exclaimed, no screamed: "Look at me! Am I pretty?" Many walk in groups, hand-in-hand.
I am allowed to go everywhere and I see many things. People living their lives without a care in the world. They buy many, many things for what ever reason.
I meet the teachers in some secluded spot for lunch. They are complaining that they are not being informed of events that are occurring at an exclusive school. They want to be on the email list. Somewhere in the conversation, shade is provided...but its not from any man made device, it just happens.
Soon, a representative of that exclusive school visits the park we are at and informs everyone, they are going to be put on the email list. The number of teachers in that school number 8- why I know this, I don't know. He didn't seem happy and it looked forced. Then most of the light is removed from the park. Its not completely dark, more like bright, bright moon in the sky, light. This time, I notice, the darkness is induced by someone or something evil. One of the teachers asks for it.
Another time or period, I guess, shortly after having lunch, I appear above some sort of farm...I think rice patty field or a shallow pond. I see stacks upon stacks (in a tee-pee shape) of green grass (I think). As I float over them, I over an undulating black shape that is very, very long and quite huge.
This might be considered a snake, because of its size and behavior, but it doesn't look like a snake in color. It slowly moves and undulates around a tree in the middle of this pond, with only a small portion of itself exposed. It might be a worm...but for some reason, I touch it and it stops. It begins to curl around to the point I am touching it. I stop and the creature continues on its way.
I begin to feel, it wants to destroy the green grass shapes. I seem to be stuck to some part of this "worm" as I am floating just above it, while moving with it. I decide to touch it again, but to scratch. This time, I notice the skin is scaly, but burnt with missing scales. The creature turns around almost immediately, but I still haven't seen its face. I stop scratching, but start again.
This time, the creature reveals itself. It's not a snake, nor a worm, but instead, its a wyrm. Or, as some call them, a dragon. This isn't an ordinary dragon, but a long thin one, with legs and no wings. I guess, its like the many depictions of Japanese dragons I've seen.
As I am scratching the wyrm back, it turns around and I can see one of his legs and his open gaping mouth... It was full of teeth and was fully open to bite my hand. This beast was evil and it was intent on destroying that village? I guess that is the case, it's a village he's after.
That is the end of the dream.
I was in Japan, with school teachers, numbering four. They are Westerners and the group was close.
I was amazed at how much Japan allows women to be girly and frilly. Most girls were dressed in colorful clothes that sparkled and twinkled. The clothes exclaimed, no screamed: "Look at me! Am I pretty?" Many walk in groups, hand-in-hand.
I am allowed to go everywhere and I see many things. People living their lives without a care in the world. They buy many, many things for what ever reason.
I meet the teachers in some secluded spot for lunch. They are complaining that they are not being informed of events that are occurring at an exclusive school. They want to be on the email list. Somewhere in the conversation, shade is provided...but its not from any man made device, it just happens.
Soon, a representative of that exclusive school visits the park we are at and informs everyone, they are going to be put on the email list. The number of teachers in that school number 8- why I know this, I don't know. He didn't seem happy and it looked forced. Then most of the light is removed from the park. Its not completely dark, more like bright, bright moon in the sky, light. This time, I notice, the darkness is induced by someone or something evil. One of the teachers asks for it.
Another time or period, I guess, shortly after having lunch, I appear above some sort of farm...I think rice patty field or a shallow pond. I see stacks upon stacks (in a tee-pee shape) of green grass (I think). As I float over them, I over an undulating black shape that is very, very long and quite huge.
This might be considered a snake, because of its size and behavior, but it doesn't look like a snake in color. It slowly moves and undulates around a tree in the middle of this pond, with only a small portion of itself exposed. It might be a worm...but for some reason, I touch it and it stops. It begins to curl around to the point I am touching it. I stop and the creature continues on its way.
I begin to feel, it wants to destroy the green grass shapes. I seem to be stuck to some part of this "worm" as I am floating just above it, while moving with it. I decide to touch it again, but to scratch. This time, I notice the skin is scaly, but burnt with missing scales. The creature turns around almost immediately, but I still haven't seen its face. I stop scratching, but start again.
This time, the creature reveals itself. It's not a snake, nor a worm, but instead, its a wyrm. Or, as some call them, a dragon. This isn't an ordinary dragon, but a long thin one, with legs and no wings. I guess, its like the many depictions of Japanese dragons I've seen.
As I am scratching the wyrm back, it turns around and I can see one of his legs and his open gaping mouth... It was full of teeth and was fully open to bite my hand. This beast was evil and it was intent on destroying that village? I guess that is the case, it's a village he's after.
That is the end of the dream.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
My body and heart are Yours.
To the Lord:
Jesus, my heart is yours, make a camp there.
Jesus, my heart is yours, make a home and live there.
Jesus, my heart is yours, make a mighty fortress to guard it.
It is Your home, live there as You see fit.
And since it is Your home, protect it.
Lord, my heart is Yours! Claim it like a Lottery win.
Victoriously plant Your flag in the middle and inspect all who come in.
It is Your home, live there as You see fit.
And since it is Your home, protect it.
Jesus, take my body, for it is broken and worthless,
I have damaged it and can't care for it.
Jesus, take my body and use it as you see fit.
And since it is Yours, I know You will care for it.
Tired and time for bed. Amen
Jesus, my heart is yours, make a camp there.
Jesus, my heart is yours, make a home and live there.
Jesus, my heart is yours, make a mighty fortress to guard it.
It is Your home, live there as You see fit.
And since it is Your home, protect it.
Lord, my heart is Yours! Claim it like a Lottery win.
Victoriously plant Your flag in the middle and inspect all who come in.
It is Your home, live there as You see fit.
And since it is Your home, protect it.
Jesus, take my body, for it is broken and worthless,
I have damaged it and can't care for it.
Jesus, take my body and use it as you see fit.
And since it is Yours, I know You will care for it.
Tired and time for bed. Amen
Thursday, September 14, 2006
A Letter To...
This letter is for my ex-wife, Kristy, but one I will not send.
Kristy,
I want to say to you, deeply, I forgive you, completely for what happened during our marriage. I forgive you for all the times you cheated on me. I forgive you for all the mental abuse you gave me. I forgive you for trying to cheat me out of paying your share of taxes. I forgive you for not helping, when help was needed. I forgive you for not trusting me. I forgive you for not loving me.
In return, I ask for your forgiveness. Please forgive me for not being there when you needed me. Please forgive me for not showing my love for you, when I did love you deeply. Please forgive me for not affirming you in our marriage. Please forgive me for being a hypocrite. Please forgive me for failing you.
From this point on, a new begining will happen. Will I trust you anymore? No. Do I want to date you again? No. This is what I want; freedom. I want to be free of your influence in my life, thoughts and choices. I want to be able think of things that don't concern you anymore. For some stupid reason, I feared you. Now, I don't because I fear Someone greater than you, and He can do far more damage than you can ever imagine.
You wanted out of the marriage, and I gave that to you. Now, life is in your own hands and what you do is completely up to you. This will be the last letter I will write to you. Good-bye.
John
Kristy,
I want to say to you, deeply, I forgive you, completely for what happened during our marriage. I forgive you for all the times you cheated on me. I forgive you for all the mental abuse you gave me. I forgive you for trying to cheat me out of paying your share of taxes. I forgive you for not helping, when help was needed. I forgive you for not trusting me. I forgive you for not loving me.
In return, I ask for your forgiveness. Please forgive me for not being there when you needed me. Please forgive me for not showing my love for you, when I did love you deeply. Please forgive me for not affirming you in our marriage. Please forgive me for being a hypocrite. Please forgive me for failing you.
From this point on, a new begining will happen. Will I trust you anymore? No. Do I want to date you again? No. This is what I want; freedom. I want to be free of your influence in my life, thoughts and choices. I want to be able think of things that don't concern you anymore. For some stupid reason, I feared you. Now, I don't because I fear Someone greater than you, and He can do far more damage than you can ever imagine.
You wanted out of the marriage, and I gave that to you. Now, life is in your own hands and what you do is completely up to you. This will be the last letter I will write to you. Good-bye.
John
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Pr0n is bad...really bad.
This is to the Lord:
I am a fool. I messed up and again, I don't know how to perminately stop it! Lord, I lay at your feet that horrible desire for pr0n. Here I am, a man who loves you, and I have confessed to the world, I still like pr0n. And I detest it.
Lord, it is a demon, infesting the mind of men and women around the world. It poisons the soul and weakens the spirit of even the most strongest of people. Not human can fully resist it because it is everywhere.
Please Lord, take this demon, remove it. Please Lord, take this pain and lust, and remove it. Please Lord, save me from my ownself...because even I am not good for myself and you know what is best.
Please forgive me for be so weak. Please forgive me for being so human. Please forgive me for being so weak willed. I pray for your blessing upon me today to help me get through this day. Amen.
I am a fool. I messed up and again, I don't know how to perminately stop it! Lord, I lay at your feet that horrible desire for pr0n. Here I am, a man who loves you, and I have confessed to the world, I still like pr0n. And I detest it.
Lord, it is a demon, infesting the mind of men and women around the world. It poisons the soul and weakens the spirit of even the most strongest of people. Not human can fully resist it because it is everywhere.
Please Lord, take this demon, remove it. Please Lord, take this pain and lust, and remove it. Please Lord, save me from my ownself...because even I am not good for myself and you know what is best.
Please forgive me for be so weak. Please forgive me for being so human. Please forgive me for being so weak willed. I pray for your blessing upon me today to help me get through this day. Amen.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Food is bad, umkay?
This is to the Lord:
Food, its whats for dinner.
Food, its what I crave.
Food, its what I hate.
Food, its what I need.
Food, its what is killing me.
Father, American food is poison. The chemicals are addictive and destructive. They eat at the veins in my body, they cling to the sides of my arteries and body. Yet, I can't stop eating it. This food is killing me and there is nothing I can do!
Yet, I have You, my Lord, to be my savior and I know You'll find a perfect solution for this. I want to loose weight, but I want it to be for You and not for any other reason. Because I know, if I loose it, the weight will stay off. You are God and know the perfect way to solve it. I will do what I can, but I know I have been failing to stick to a diet.
I love You, Father, and I look forward to the dreams You give when I sleep. Amen.
Food, its whats for dinner.
Food, its what I crave.
Food, its what I hate.
Food, its what I need.
Food, its what is killing me.
Father, American food is poison. The chemicals are addictive and destructive. They eat at the veins in my body, they cling to the sides of my arteries and body. Yet, I can't stop eating it. This food is killing me and there is nothing I can do!
Yet, I have You, my Lord, to be my savior and I know You'll find a perfect solution for this. I want to loose weight, but I want it to be for You and not for any other reason. Because I know, if I loose it, the weight will stay off. You are God and know the perfect way to solve it. I will do what I can, but I know I have been failing to stick to a diet.
I love You, Father, and I look forward to the dreams You give when I sleep. Amen.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Another Idol.
This is to the Lord:
My Lord, who reigns in Heaven, the Universe, and on Earth, I confess to You: I haven't put Your ways first in my life. There is an idol that I worship and continue to worship and I don't know how to hand it over to you. This idol prevents me from getting closer to you and experiencing the true love and direction you want me to go. And the name of this idol is food.
I worship it, I crave it, I desire it. My Lord it has gotten me into so much trouble, pain and headache. It my kriptonite.
How do You want me to hand this off? To give it to You? You are my Master and I am Your bond servant and I trust in You to know how to handle it. I also trust in You on what is needed to solve it. You are God and I am not. You are God and I am NOT. YOU ARE GOD and i am not.
The idol is Yours and I pray for Your help on how to destory it. Amen
My Lord, who reigns in Heaven, the Universe, and on Earth, I confess to You: I haven't put Your ways first in my life. There is an idol that I worship and continue to worship and I don't know how to hand it over to you. This idol prevents me from getting closer to you and experiencing the true love and direction you want me to go. And the name of this idol is food.
I worship it, I crave it, I desire it. My Lord it has gotten me into so much trouble, pain and headache. It my kriptonite.
How do You want me to hand this off? To give it to You? You are my Master and I am Your bond servant and I trust in You to know how to handle it. I also trust in You on what is needed to solve it. You are God and I am not. You are God and I am NOT. YOU ARE GOD and i am not.
The idol is Yours and I pray for Your help on how to destory it. Amen
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Tormenting Spirit.
This is to the Lord:
My Lord in Heaven, why am I being tormented night and day over my ex-wife Kristy?
Why must I be made to feel her life is of such importance, when all she cares about is herself?
Wasn't it her who claimed to accepted You into her life and then renounce it?
Wasn't it her who wanted out of the marriage?
Wasn't it her who broke her vows?
Wasn't it her who mentally abused me, demeaning me, and making me feel I am worthless?
Wasn't it her who wanted to depose You from my life?
Wasn't it her who wanted to continue to have sexual relations with both males and females outside of the marriage?
Wasn't it to You I confessed my sins I have committed against her and am I not forgiven of those sins and they are completely forgotten?
Then why, WHY am I being tormented about her?!
Why are my dreams infested with mentioning of her or having involvement in her stuff?
Why is this happening?
She is not my concern as she wanted her own life to do as she pleases.
She is not a part of my life as she wanted out of the marriage.
She is not married to me as she wanted to commit additional acts of adultery.
She is not able to abuse me anymore as I refuse to experience it any longer.
She is not a part of the church because she has rejected You.
She is not "my queen" as You reign over this life You have given me.
She is not liable because I have forgiven her.
So, who is being allowed to torment me over this woman who is NOT a part of my life? As far as I am concerned, and from what I know about You, Father, I shouldn't be attacked or tormented about her. If this is something coming from my ownself, then I beg of You, help me defeat it! Take it from me, remove it with Your perfect power! Please, let me move on and develop a new life with a new person.
As for Kristy, I pray she just gave a damn about what she did to me and the pain she caused. I pray she even cared one tiny bit. I pray she even knew I loved her so much. Father, please, remove from me this old love I have buried in my heart for her. It needs to be removed because it is festering and has caused me lots of pain. I pray to move forward and to forget the past and the pain I experienced and to feel Your love and the hope You give.
But I know, Your will has the final say and I pray, Let Your Will Be Done. Amen.
My Lord in Heaven, why am I being tormented night and day over my ex-wife Kristy?
Why must I be made to feel her life is of such importance, when all she cares about is herself?
Wasn't it her who claimed to accepted You into her life and then renounce it?
Wasn't it her who wanted out of the marriage?
Wasn't it her who broke her vows?
Wasn't it her who mentally abused me, demeaning me, and making me feel I am worthless?
Wasn't it her who wanted to depose You from my life?
Wasn't it her who wanted to continue to have sexual relations with both males and females outside of the marriage?
Wasn't it to You I confessed my sins I have committed against her and am I not forgiven of those sins and they are completely forgotten?
Then why, WHY am I being tormented about her?!
Why are my dreams infested with mentioning of her or having involvement in her stuff?
Why is this happening?
She is not my concern as she wanted her own life to do as she pleases.
She is not a part of my life as she wanted out of the marriage.
She is not married to me as she wanted to commit additional acts of adultery.
She is not able to abuse me anymore as I refuse to experience it any longer.
She is not a part of the church because she has rejected You.
She is not "my queen" as You reign over this life You have given me.
She is not liable because I have forgiven her.
So, who is being allowed to torment me over this woman who is NOT a part of my life? As far as I am concerned, and from what I know about You, Father, I shouldn't be attacked or tormented about her. If this is something coming from my ownself, then I beg of You, help me defeat it! Take it from me, remove it with Your perfect power! Please, let me move on and develop a new life with a new person.
As for Kristy, I pray she just gave a damn about what she did to me and the pain she caused. I pray she even cared one tiny bit. I pray she even knew I loved her so much. Father, please, remove from me this old love I have buried in my heart for her. It needs to be removed because it is festering and has caused me lots of pain. I pray to move forward and to forget the past and the pain I experienced and to feel Your love and the hope You give.
But I know, Your will has the final say and I pray, Let Your Will Be Done. Amen.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
New Style.
This is to the Lord:
Father, I have realized I am not a great Christian. I realize I am incrediably selfish. I realize, that is my idol and I cast it before You. I realize today, I really did need You because I was attacked visciously by a demon...I also realize You were testing me again because You wouldn't have allowed it to happen. I realize, I almost lost it and You saved me. I realize that life isn't fair and never will be. I realize I need a Savior on a constant, daily, hourly, moment by moment basis. I realize, I need You and have to have You. I realize, nothing, and I mean, NOTHING is possible without You. I realize, more that I can ever put into words, I love You and want You. I realize that You are the source of all solutions and answers. You Are God, and You deserve all credit for solving all of the problems I have encountered. You are God and I am most definately not. Holy are You and worthy of all praise! Amen!
Father, I have realized I am not a great Christian. I realize I am incrediably selfish. I realize, that is my idol and I cast it before You. I realize today, I really did need You because I was attacked visciously by a demon...I also realize You were testing me again because You wouldn't have allowed it to happen. I realize, I almost lost it and You saved me. I realize that life isn't fair and never will be. I realize I need a Savior on a constant, daily, hourly, moment by moment basis. I realize, I need You and have to have You. I realize, nothing, and I mean, NOTHING is possible without You. I realize, more that I can ever put into words, I love You and want You. I realize that You are the source of all solutions and answers. You Are God, and You deserve all credit for solving all of the problems I have encountered. You are God and I am most definately not. Holy are You and worthy of all praise! Amen!
Monday, June 05, 2006
Stepping out of the boat.
In my Small Group tonight, we started a new series by John Ortberg about Stepping Out of the Boat. Like what Peter did when Jesus was walking on water. And I came upon a realization (actually several):
I am a failure if I don't at least try and I am an even bigger failure if do nothing at all. If God doesn't want you to do something, He will close that avenue or door to you. In fact, He will make it so hard you'll pretty much have to stop. If you want to do what He wants, you'll eventually see His hand in everything. If God wants you to do something, and you do it, He will give you everything you need to complete it. And if you fall during that time, He will be there to pick you up, guaranteed. Why do I know that? I just do. Have a faith and belief in Him and He will help.
I also found out that being a failure, such as myself, you learn a lot. That's provided the thick part of your skull has thinned enough to learn. My skull was thick and it still is in some parts, but the Lord is whittling them down.
Finally, I learned something else that has affected me very personally for 24 years. I will not go into details, but to say I now have figured out why I don't have much motivation. And it is because of this, I was most likely robbing myself of motivation. It is something I will work at to defeat because it has been so crippling. I will know more as time progresses if I have found a "cure".
Have a blessed week!
I am a failure if I don't at least try and I am an even bigger failure if do nothing at all. If God doesn't want you to do something, He will close that avenue or door to you. In fact, He will make it so hard you'll pretty much have to stop. If you want to do what He wants, you'll eventually see His hand in everything. If God wants you to do something, and you do it, He will give you everything you need to complete it. And if you fall during that time, He will be there to pick you up, guaranteed. Why do I know that? I just do. Have a faith and belief in Him and He will help.
I also found out that being a failure, such as myself, you learn a lot. That's provided the thick part of your skull has thinned enough to learn. My skull was thick and it still is in some parts, but the Lord is whittling them down.
Finally, I learned something else that has affected me very personally for 24 years. I will not go into details, but to say I now have figured out why I don't have much motivation. And it is because of this, I was most likely robbing myself of motivation. It is something I will work at to defeat because it has been so crippling. I will know more as time progresses if I have found a "cure".
Have a blessed week!
Sunday, June 04, 2006
What a day!
Yesterday, I borrowed a bike from a friend of mine to see whether or not I am willing to ride it consistently. In fact, I was going to ride it this morning.
God had other plans for me. It rained this morning. Instead, I got up, ate a leisurely breakfast, drank nearly a pot of coffee (I thank God for making coffee because it tastes so good!) and went into church to hear the message and to record CDs.
Afterwards, I rode the bike... and boy did it hurt! The seat was harder than concrete and the gears are not working very well, but I did do it. And I liked it, even though my lungs and heart would say differently. To be honest, I think I did what the Lord wanted me to do.
If it wasn't, then I pray for an ear to hear His words and a heart that will remember those words. I so need Him on a daily/hourly/minute/moment basis. It is because of Him, I am any good at anything. So I have this to say:
Thank you Jesus for allowing me to love You and to ask that You be my confidence. Because You the deal and I don't.
God had other plans for me. It rained this morning. Instead, I got up, ate a leisurely breakfast, drank nearly a pot of coffee (I thank God for making coffee because it tastes so good!) and went into church to hear the message and to record CDs.
Afterwards, I rode the bike... and boy did it hurt! The seat was harder than concrete and the gears are not working very well, but I did do it. And I liked it, even though my lungs and heart would say differently. To be honest, I think I did what the Lord wanted me to do.
If it wasn't, then I pray for an ear to hear His words and a heart that will remember those words. I so need Him on a daily/hourly/minute/moment basis. It is because of Him, I am any good at anything. So I have this to say:
Thank you Jesus for allowing me to love You and to ask that You be my confidence. Because You the deal and I don't.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
I've been gone.
And so has my server! Yes, the one that hosts my images. I junked it for the ability to have a photo gallery. Right now, it is sitting... waiting for the chance to pounce on any unsuspecting web person. Or it can be very dumb and wait for a page it. You can decide.
http://dagget.2y.net/gallery2
BUT, you need a login to view the gallery and right now, I reserve that for those I know.
About my absence... I have nothing to say really. I guess, I've been lazy. When I write, it can take me awhile because I read and re-read my stuff. I have a pet-peave about misspelled words and missing words. I know I can't be perfect, but I have to be diligent.
So, what interesting things do I have to say... Enjoy life as best as you can because it is a gift from God! Explore it. Feel it. See it. Experience it. Know it. Life is everywhere and God gives it abundantly.
Will I feel like this later? Not sure. It seems I can't retain somethings longer than a bugs life, but I do try. I just hope I can be all the Lord wants me to be. All I can do is try and I know I can't be faulted for being a failure.
Those are my words for this short jaunt. I started off well with this blog, but I died out quickly. At least I can start again. :)
Have a blessed day!
http://dagget.2y.net/gallery2
BUT, you need a login to view the gallery and right now, I reserve that for those I know.
About my absence... I have nothing to say really. I guess, I've been lazy. When I write, it can take me awhile because I read and re-read my stuff. I have a pet-peave about misspelled words and missing words. I know I can't be perfect, but I have to be diligent.
So, what interesting things do I have to say... Enjoy life as best as you can because it is a gift from God! Explore it. Feel it. See it. Experience it. Know it. Life is everywhere and God gives it abundantly.
Will I feel like this later? Not sure. It seems I can't retain somethings longer than a bugs life, but I do try. I just hope I can be all the Lord wants me to be. All I can do is try and I know I can't be faulted for being a failure.
Those are my words for this short jaunt. I started off well with this blog, but I died out quickly. At least I can start again. :)
Have a blessed day!
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Being away.
I have walked away from the Lord.
But He isn't concerned. He knows I will be back very soon.
He knows I don't like being away from Him.
He will wait patiently for me.
Which is far more than I can say about myself.
I don't like it that I've walked away.
I feel concerned, but I know I will be back very soon.
I know what He knows about me, and His confidence in me feels reassuring.
Though I can't stand waiting patiently to return. I want to be back with Him now.
Because I need Him to be there everyday.
Without Him, I can't make it through the day and be a good person/employee.
With Him, I feel like I can take on everything without fear.
With Him, I can love others with His heart, instead of my own.
I need Him more than I can ever imagine.
He is the source of all my love, hope, joy and peace.
He is the Lord God Jesus and none is bigger or better than my God!
But He isn't concerned. He knows I will be back very soon.
He knows I don't like being away from Him.
He will wait patiently for me.
Which is far more than I can say about myself.
I don't like it that I've walked away.
I feel concerned, but I know I will be back very soon.
I know what He knows about me, and His confidence in me feels reassuring.
Though I can't stand waiting patiently to return. I want to be back with Him now.
Because I need Him to be there everyday.
Without Him, I can't make it through the day and be a good person/employee.
With Him, I feel like I can take on everything without fear.
With Him, I can love others with His heart, instead of my own.
I need Him more than I can ever imagine.
He is the source of all my love, hope, joy and peace.
He is the Lord God Jesus and none is bigger or better than my God!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Concerts and loneliness
Tonight, in Kansas City, Casting Crowns, Nichole Nordeman, and Josh Bates (with Tony Noland inspirational speaker). My singles small group was planning to have a few people go and I was determined to go. Mainly for Nichole Nordeman. She is a great singer, very talented pianist, and quite beautiful. She reminds me of my sister. She is also VERY real.
She told a story of incrediable shame and utter failure at refusing to see the will of God in a situation. The story was from her first tour and she was one of only two females. Before continuing, Nichole Nordeman is a Christian Artist and is reconized in the industry for her talents and gifts. On with the story.... This other woman (we'll call her Michelle) was an over the top Christian and no matter what, she was always happy. But Nichole noticed this happiness was a shell. And bit by bit, the more she was around Michelle, the shell would crumble. Inside was some serious pain that was overwhelming Nichole and would pray to the Lord (and she admitted it) in selfishness- Lord get this woman out of my life, why did You put her here!
Nichole would see Michelle and disapear because she didn't want to see her or talk to her. Later, after a couple of months after the tour ended, one of the people she was friends with (who was on the tour too) said, "Did you hear what happened to Michelle last week?" Nichole, with an open admission "The condition of my heart then was horrible, so I said, 'So what did Miss Drama Queen do now?'" Her friend just looked at her and didn't talk for several minutes. Then just said, "Michelle commited suicide." This affected Nichole and wrote a song about this, that God places people in our paths for a reason and we are to be there for them.
I got autographs on the CD's of Nichole's and Casting Crowns. The lead singer, Mark Hall, was having voice problems and it was great he was able to sing what he did tonight. But he wasn't at the signing, which I understand. I did get to meet the band and that was GREAT! And being the dorky/goof ball/lame-o that I am, it was a complete fiasco! I got pictures of all of them, EXCEPT the drummer! He was the best looking of them all...well the wife of one of the guitarists was very pretty, but the drummer was bald and that made all the difference!
Anyways...I attended the concert and sat between two couples. My date was God and I was filled with joy before and during the concert. At the end loneliness started to sneek in. I tried and tried to look to the Lord for resolution with this, but nothing came and the depression and loneliness kept on building! It wasn't until I got outside that I started to sing to the Lord, which lifted my spirits. I am still fighting it.
I will be up front and honest about this, I hate being alone. It sucks! But there is a reason I am this way and the Lord wants me for something unique or to correct a fault I have. The Lord is working on me, changing me and I don't have a clue what He wants of me. But He knows and will complete His work in me eventually, even if I am dragged kicking and screaming. I am trying to have faith and place my confidence in His hands.
I also got insanely angry about this. I mean, the devil is attacking me with images of happy couples, pretty woman who are married walking around in groups of other women... I just couldn't take it anymore! I didn't want my joy sucked away, my peace drowned in mud. Satan has no right to do that (I said it in a more crude way), the Lord's joy and peace are His to give and the devil has no right to it. The Lord created the universe, He can do anything! (NOTE TO SELF- God will do what He wants- if He wants to suck the joy and peace out of someone for a particular reason, He will. If He wants to give a million dollars to a man who doesn't deserve it, He will).
I am tired as I will be helping a friend move tomorrow as well as do Feel the People. I hope your weekend is blessed and full of friendship, love, joy, peace and beauty!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Psalm 4-18-06
I have been a beast of a man.
I have been horrible as I can.
Oh I need You Lord to be there.
Oh I desire You and Your care.
My anger will rise.
My fear will not subside.
Oh I need You Lord to be here.
Oh I want to be in Your care.
Mighty God where am I going.
I cannot fight my longing
For Your awesome grace
Your wonderful, beautiful face.
Oh I need You Lord to be there.
Oh I desire You and Your care.
You are here to save me.
You are there to help me be
The right man
For Your perfect plan.
To show the world Your love
To tell them You reign above.
Oh I need You Lord to be here.
Oh I want to be in Your care.
For I know, life is meaningless
Without You and Your wonderful
Life giving bliss!
I have been horrible as I can.
Oh I need You Lord to be there.
Oh I desire You and Your care.
My anger will rise.
My fear will not subside.
Oh I need You Lord to be here.
Oh I want to be in Your care.
Mighty God where am I going.
I cannot fight my longing
For Your awesome grace
Your wonderful, beautiful face.
Oh I need You Lord to be there.
Oh I desire You and Your care.
You are here to save me.
You are there to help me be
The right man
For Your perfect plan.
To show the world Your love
To tell them You reign above.
Oh I need You Lord to be here.
Oh I want to be in Your care.
For I know, life is meaningless
Without You and Your wonderful
Life giving bliss!
Saturday, April 15, 2006
A moment before He rises.
Tomorrow, almost 2000 years ago, the Son of man, the Son of the Most High God, the Light of the world, arose from the grave, victorious. God conquered death and it's grip upon us is worthless!
Yesterday, almost 2000 years ago, the Son of man, the Son of the Most High God, the Light of the world, went down into darkness...humbled, abused, beaten, and crushed. He was the perfect lamb to die for our sins, to save us from eternal seperation from God the Father. To save us from ourselves, to save us from complete destruction!
So I pray for you, dear reader, that the eyes of your heart be opened. The blinders removed. Your vision cleared to see the truth Jesus brings to you! You might have read that Christianity is a lie, full of hypocrites, theives and unloving zealot freaks. In fact, I challenage you to tell me about the Christianity you know, and I will most likely agree with you and even dislike it too. Once you're done, give me the courtesy of telling you about the Jesus I know who wants to enjoy a beautiful, loving, peaceful, enjoyable, fun filled relationship with you! Because that is REAL Christianity. Not a religion, but a relationship! Legalistic Christianity is NOT real! In fact, in Paul the Apostle's view, it could be considered a sin.
Why? Legalism (as it's called) doesn't build a person up, it belittles them. It doesn't affirm them, it tears down the spirit, crushing it under guilt and shame. It doesn't glorify the Lord, it causes people to flee. Jesus died on the cross to remove our shame, our fear, our bondage to such human created things! Why should we allow ourselves to be saddled with lists of Do this or Don't do that? What about doing a chant, a litergy or praying to a stone/wooden idol? GO DIRECTLY TO THE SOURCE! Remove the middle man, drop the pretense, open up and let God have it! Be honest, open and direct! Jesus set us free and you are free indeed!
-My Lord, this day, glorious awesome things have occured. My church's reach out event was very successful and allowed people to enjoy themselves with family and friends! Lord, You made the weather perfect! In fact, a predicted storm for the area was delayed because of You! It rained all around, but not at the Speedway! Thank You Lord for making it successful! Only You could have done that. Please, bless all of those that helped, all of those that visited, all of those that will eat the candy from the egg hunt. Bless them with peace, comfort and love for the rest of today and tomorrow! Please, bless Westside Family Church, the pastor staff, regular staff, and the volunteers with protection, strong spirit, conviction, and wisdom as we continue to seek your guidence during the coming year! Help us Lord be the best we can be to reach others for You and to grow them to be like You! In Your name I pray, Amen!
Yesterday, almost 2000 years ago, the Son of man, the Son of the Most High God, the Light of the world, went down into darkness...humbled, abused, beaten, and crushed. He was the perfect lamb to die for our sins, to save us from eternal seperation from God the Father. To save us from ourselves, to save us from complete destruction!
So I pray for you, dear reader, that the eyes of your heart be opened. The blinders removed. Your vision cleared to see the truth Jesus brings to you! You might have read that Christianity is a lie, full of hypocrites, theives and unloving zealot freaks. In fact, I challenage you to tell me about the Christianity you know, and I will most likely agree with you and even dislike it too. Once you're done, give me the courtesy of telling you about the Jesus I know who wants to enjoy a beautiful, loving, peaceful, enjoyable, fun filled relationship with you! Because that is REAL Christianity. Not a religion, but a relationship! Legalistic Christianity is NOT real! In fact, in Paul the Apostle's view, it could be considered a sin.
Why? Legalism (as it's called) doesn't build a person up, it belittles them. It doesn't affirm them, it tears down the spirit, crushing it under guilt and shame. It doesn't glorify the Lord, it causes people to flee. Jesus died on the cross to remove our shame, our fear, our bondage to such human created things! Why should we allow ourselves to be saddled with lists of Do this or Don't do that? What about doing a chant, a litergy or praying to a stone/wooden idol? GO DIRECTLY TO THE SOURCE! Remove the middle man, drop the pretense, open up and let God have it! Be honest, open and direct! Jesus set us free and you are free indeed!
-My Lord, this day, glorious awesome things have occured. My church's reach out event was very successful and allowed people to enjoy themselves with family and friends! Lord, You made the weather perfect! In fact, a predicted storm for the area was delayed because of You! It rained all around, but not at the Speedway! Thank You Lord for making it successful! Only You could have done that. Please, bless all of those that helped, all of those that visited, all of those that will eat the candy from the egg hunt. Bless them with peace, comfort and love for the rest of today and tomorrow! Please, bless Westside Family Church, the pastor staff, regular staff, and the volunteers with protection, strong spirit, conviction, and wisdom as we continue to seek your guidence during the coming year! Help us Lord be the best we can be to reach others for You and to grow them to be like You! In Your name I pray, Amen!
Monday, April 10, 2006
Psalm 4-10-06
Am I to be bold for You?
Is my path to cross those I know and love with You?
Is my heart finding it hard to love You?
Is my soul reeling from its walk away from You?
Am I to be Your son for the ones who seek You and want answers?
To all of these, I say yes.
I am to be bold for You!
I am to cross paths with the ones I know and love for You!
I am finding it hard to love You, but I know You will step in to help because I need it!
My soul is reeling from the disconnectedness I feel. The anguish is painful!
I am to be Your son to the seeking and questioning souls on this lost world!
So what is it I am doing wrong to not be bold?
Why do I fear crossing the paths of those I know?
Why do I find it hard to love You? Is it because I not obeying You?
Why is my soul reeling from the disconnection?
How can I be Your son to those who are seeking and questioning?
Lord, You can do anything and accomplish anything.
You are God and I am not.
You are in control.
You are the Sovereign God Almighty and there isn't another god but You!
Worthy are You of all praise!
Holy are You in all of the Universe and none is more holier than You!
You are God.
You are the Father, Creator of the heavens and earth.
You are my Best Friend and I love You for what You have done to change me to be like Jesus.
You are there for me everytime...And I know I haven't been there 100% because I am so human.
Perfect are You Lord, for we all fall short of Your glory! Please, never stop loving us because we depend upon You. We need You. I desire You. I want to obey Your every whim. I want to obey. I want to give it all to You. I want to be Yours and be one to go after Your own heart! I pray that I have.
Mighty God! Thank you for today and the wonderful work You granted me to do. Thank You for the people that I know. Thank You for the love of the small group. Thank You for allowing me to fail and to see I am nothing special outside of You! Thank You for making me who I am and for letting me live, despite my poor judgment and lack of wisdom! Thank You for keeping me from becoming a cruel and hateful man. Thank You for Your grace and granting it to Abraham so many years ago! Please, accept my thanks, even though it is nothing to the full due You are deserving of. In Your name I pray, Amen!
Is my path to cross those I know and love with You?
Is my heart finding it hard to love You?
Is my soul reeling from its walk away from You?
Am I to be Your son for the ones who seek You and want answers?
To all of these, I say yes.
I am to be bold for You!
I am to cross paths with the ones I know and love for You!
I am finding it hard to love You, but I know You will step in to help because I need it!
My soul is reeling from the disconnectedness I feel. The anguish is painful!
I am to be Your son to the seeking and questioning souls on this lost world!
So what is it I am doing wrong to not be bold?
Why do I fear crossing the paths of those I know?
Why do I find it hard to love You? Is it because I not obeying You?
Why is my soul reeling from the disconnection?
How can I be Your son to those who are seeking and questioning?
Lord, You can do anything and accomplish anything.
You are God and I am not.
You are in control.
You are the Sovereign God Almighty and there isn't another god but You!
Worthy are You of all praise!
Holy are You in all of the Universe and none is more holier than You!
You are God.
You are the Father, Creator of the heavens and earth.
You are my Best Friend and I love You for what You have done to change me to be like Jesus.
You are there for me everytime...And I know I haven't been there 100% because I am so human.
Perfect are You Lord, for we all fall short of Your glory! Please, never stop loving us because we depend upon You. We need You. I desire You. I want to obey Your every whim. I want to obey. I want to give it all to You. I want to be Yours and be one to go after Your own heart! I pray that I have.
Mighty God! Thank you for today and the wonderful work You granted me to do. Thank You for the people that I know. Thank You for the love of the small group. Thank You for allowing me to fail and to see I am nothing special outside of You! Thank You for making me who I am and for letting me live, despite my poor judgment and lack of wisdom! Thank You for keeping me from becoming a cruel and hateful man. Thank You for Your grace and granting it to Abraham so many years ago! Please, accept my thanks, even though it is nothing to the full due You are deserving of. In Your name I pray, Amen!
Friday, April 07, 2006
Praise to the One most worthy.
This is to Jesus. My King, my Lord, my Savior, my Best Friend.
Today, I got a call from my friend who has experienced much this week. His wife left and took his newborn daughter. The pain, shock, and fear for his daughter caused him huge amounts of pain. His wife gave no clue she was going to do this. In fact, everything was normal for most of the day, until that evening. The Life Group showed up to be with him and to lend support. We also counseled him, helped him decipher the clues and to be a calm voice during a major storm. God did wonderful things that day, by using my friend's spiritual buddies to help him out of a major bind.
Here is the deal though, I shouldn't have been available. I was working at a client with major issues and I was ready to fix a major problem with a monitor. The work would have taken hours to complete, but by a miracle, the problems went away. I tried to get the equipment to fail, but it started working flawlessly. So I left and my day was done. When I got to my work van, I found several calls from my friends, stating that the impossible has occured. My friend's wife left him. This is why I thought it was impossible...they loved each other more than any couple I knew and they put God first as best as they could in their marriage. But the Lord knew this was a crushing event to happen in my friend's life and He adjusted my schedule to be available. He did the same to all of us who went to visit him. It was a tense evening for all of us and we prayed for them!
Well, after a week, his wife is home with the child, and they will be seeing counselors over the next few weeks to resolve some of the issues they have. He did resolve a couple and was given lots of help to take care of it. The others will take time, but I know the Lord will be a more important factor in their lives now because my friend totally gave himself up to the Lord to fix it. And God did!
So I give praise to the Lord about this! No one could have done this without His intervention. And the results are too perfect! But all the praise in the world cannot do justice to the Lord of Creation, the God of Wonders and the King of kings! I just hope He accepts my humble attempt to thank Him for this wonderful thing He did for my friend (who is His son too). Thank you Jesus for saving the marriage of a man who really does love You. Thank you Jesus for showing me how to rely upon my godly friends to make it through the rough spots life throws at us. Thank you for keeping the group calm during this nightmare because there were so many times the wrong move could have been made. The whole thing would have gone out of control and everything would have been lost. Thank you for using us to help him. Thank you. In Your name I pray, Amen
Today, I got a call from my friend who has experienced much this week. His wife left and took his newborn daughter. The pain, shock, and fear for his daughter caused him huge amounts of pain. His wife gave no clue she was going to do this. In fact, everything was normal for most of the day, until that evening. The Life Group showed up to be with him and to lend support. We also counseled him, helped him decipher the clues and to be a calm voice during a major storm. God did wonderful things that day, by using my friend's spiritual buddies to help him out of a major bind.
Here is the deal though, I shouldn't have been available. I was working at a client with major issues and I was ready to fix a major problem with a monitor. The work would have taken hours to complete, but by a miracle, the problems went away. I tried to get the equipment to fail, but it started working flawlessly. So I left and my day was done. When I got to my work van, I found several calls from my friends, stating that the impossible has occured. My friend's wife left him. This is why I thought it was impossible...they loved each other more than any couple I knew and they put God first as best as they could in their marriage. But the Lord knew this was a crushing event to happen in my friend's life and He adjusted my schedule to be available. He did the same to all of us who went to visit him. It was a tense evening for all of us and we prayed for them!
Well, after a week, his wife is home with the child, and they will be seeing counselors over the next few weeks to resolve some of the issues they have. He did resolve a couple and was given lots of help to take care of it. The others will take time, but I know the Lord will be a more important factor in their lives now because my friend totally gave himself up to the Lord to fix it. And God did!
So I give praise to the Lord about this! No one could have done this without His intervention. And the results are too perfect! But all the praise in the world cannot do justice to the Lord of Creation, the God of Wonders and the King of kings! I just hope He accepts my humble attempt to thank Him for this wonderful thing He did for my friend (who is His son too). Thank you Jesus for saving the marriage of a man who really does love You. Thank you Jesus for showing me how to rely upon my godly friends to make it through the rough spots life throws at us. Thank you for keeping the group calm during this nightmare because there were so many times the wrong move could have been made. The whole thing would have gone out of control and everything would have been lost. Thank you for using us to help him. Thank you. In Your name I pray, Amen
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
The end is coming...
This blog might end soon. I am in process of prayer with the Lord to see if I should cut my internet connection to save money. Since I under bid myself so poorly, I'm going to have to make sacrifices.
I feel so horrible...no, very down, over what is going on. I realized I have a long way to go before I will ever be well enough for anything. I am just crushed over what is going on and I am trying to give it up to the Lord. He is the only one that can solve the problem. He is the only one that can fix me.
I also realized, I am not as obedient as I should be. Not only does the Lord want our love, but He wants obedience. They are almost equal to Him. I stink at being obedient, which means my love is worthless to the Lord.
-So Lord! It has come down to ending my ability to personally communicate with others via cellphone (I don't have a home phone) or email. In this age of communication, and being an IT worker, that means death to my career. So, I have to give it up to You, because You know what is going on and how it got this way. I am just the dumby behind the wheel and You're in the passenger seat. Jesus, I just don't know what else to say...I just don't. I give it to You. Amen!
I feel so horrible...no, very down, over what is going on. I realized I have a long way to go before I will ever be well enough for anything. I am just crushed over what is going on and I am trying to give it up to the Lord. He is the only one that can solve the problem. He is the only one that can fix me.
I also realized, I am not as obedient as I should be. Not only does the Lord want our love, but He wants obedience. They are almost equal to Him. I stink at being obedient, which means my love is worthless to the Lord.
-So Lord! It has come down to ending my ability to personally communicate with others via cellphone (I don't have a home phone) or email. In this age of communication, and being an IT worker, that means death to my career. So, I have to give it up to You, because You know what is going on and how it got this way. I am just the dumby behind the wheel and You're in the passenger seat. Jesus, I just don't know what else to say...I just don't. I give it to You. Amen!
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
I'm still learning.
Tonight, I discovered I am not very good. Not even improved or better. I'm still bad...at dealing with my finances. Or I am just incredibly stupid.
When I got my new job, they asked what I needed for pay, and I told them what I needed. I now realize, I low balled myself and have virtually no spending money. I just didn't want to rip them off and I wanted to be fair and honest.
What is bad, I really didn't buy anything expensive; a few books, food and two CDs. I am not counting my tithe, but for some reason it hurt when I gave this time. Really, all I can do is give it up to God. Because He is the smarts to my stupidness. Oh, and anyone reading this, guess what? God is my brain now, I seemed to have left mine somewhere...what was I saying?
I was reading in the Word tonight and I seem to have lost the scripture I was reading. I don't know why I moved the bible when I started looking over my finances tonight.
From what I remember, Jesus was in Tyre and a Greek woman came to Him, pleading for His help with her possessed daughter. He told her "Stand at the end of the line woman, the 'children' are to be fed first and the leftovers will be given to the 'dogs'." And her prompt reply was, "Even the dogs that beg at the table are tossed scraps once in awhile."
This was such a wonderful reply, Jesus granted her request for help and her daughter was healed and set free from the demon. Imagine having a mind like that, to reply to the Lord with such a great thing. I wonder if she ever accepted Him into her heart after it was all said and done? Only He knows for sure.
I am going to end this without a prayer. My discovery tonight sapped me of energy. May the Lord bless your day tomorrow with love, peace and victory!
When I got my new job, they asked what I needed for pay, and I told them what I needed. I now realize, I low balled myself and have virtually no spending money. I just didn't want to rip them off and I wanted to be fair and honest.
What is bad, I really didn't buy anything expensive; a few books, food and two CDs. I am not counting my tithe, but for some reason it hurt when I gave this time. Really, all I can do is give it up to God. Because He is the smarts to my stupidness. Oh, and anyone reading this, guess what? God is my brain now, I seemed to have left mine somewhere...what was I saying?
I was reading in the Word tonight and I seem to have lost the scripture I was reading. I don't know why I moved the bible when I started looking over my finances tonight.
From what I remember, Jesus was in Tyre and a Greek woman came to Him, pleading for His help with her possessed daughter. He told her "Stand at the end of the line woman, the 'children' are to be fed first and the leftovers will be given to the 'dogs'." And her prompt reply was, "Even the dogs that beg at the table are tossed scraps once in awhile."
This was such a wonderful reply, Jesus granted her request for help and her daughter was healed and set free from the demon. Imagine having a mind like that, to reply to the Lord with such a great thing. I wonder if she ever accepted Him into her heart after it was all said and done? Only He knows for sure.
I am going to end this without a prayer. My discovery tonight sapped me of energy. May the Lord bless your day tomorrow with love, peace and victory!
Friday, March 31, 2006
No excuse.
I have none. I have made a conscious choice to do what I do. Some is good, some is bad, but the good I am doing is doing so much! I've also haven't been blogging.
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What I want to write about today is about the beauty of the Lord. This Spring, more and more I am seeing this. The gentle greening of the grass, the slow budding of the trees, the gorgious blooming of the flowers. Not to mention the fantastic weather (storms included)! It's so awesome what He is doing right now. To me, it just shows how much He wants us to see Him in everything. Because not only is God love, He is also beauty.
The Lord is beauty beyond expectation, beyond the most beautiful thing on this world. Nothing is more gorgious and beautiful than Him. I am so thankful I have eyes that can see the color and glory and beauty that makes up this world. My God is a beautiful God and I love Him more because of it! How is He beautiful?
I consider everything around us to be made by the Lord. Buildings were built by man, so they don't count, but what I do count are things that are on the ground, like plants, mountains, oceans, etc. I know many of you have seen photographs of different animals in their natural habitats, but many people just see the photo. What they don't see, are the plants that are there, the spirit filled wild animal, the uniqueness of the area and the touch of God about the whole thing. Its all beautiful, its all amazing, its all wild, its so God!
This post is a short one for several reasons. First, I wanted to get something out. Second, I want to proclaim that this blog will be about Jesus and the Father, and the great work He is putting me through. Third, I want to express how much I love the Lord and to give thanks what He is doing in my life!
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What I want to write about today is about the beauty of the Lord. This Spring, more and more I am seeing this. The gentle greening of the grass, the slow budding of the trees, the gorgious blooming of the flowers. Not to mention the fantastic weather (storms included)! It's so awesome what He is doing right now. To me, it just shows how much He wants us to see Him in everything. Because not only is God love, He is also beauty.
The Lord is beauty beyond expectation, beyond the most beautiful thing on this world. Nothing is more gorgious and beautiful than Him. I am so thankful I have eyes that can see the color and glory and beauty that makes up this world. My God is a beautiful God and I love Him more because of it! How is He beautiful?
I consider everything around us to be made by the Lord. Buildings were built by man, so they don't count, but what I do count are things that are on the ground, like plants, mountains, oceans, etc. I know many of you have seen photographs of different animals in their natural habitats, but many people just see the photo. What they don't see, are the plants that are there, the spirit filled wild animal, the uniqueness of the area and the touch of God about the whole thing. Its all beautiful, its all amazing, its all wild, its so God!
This post is a short one for several reasons. First, I wanted to get something out. Second, I want to proclaim that this blog will be about Jesus and the Father, and the great work He is putting me through. Third, I want to express how much I love the Lord and to give thanks what He is doing in my life!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
There is a reason for this...
A big reason. During my time now, I haven't been able to move my schedule around to deal with my new job. This hits me in an important spot...my time with the Lord! I haven't been able to do it or I am not at my best or I'm not...there. I get home from work, and I'm just tired or I'm not wanting to do anything. Just like a typical man.
That has been something I've been trying to do, not be a typical man. Well, I'm different in a lot of areas of my life, but coming home after work and just "clocking off", that is such a man. I know of hundreds of men that do that, and I guess I'm one of them.
Well, there is safety in numbers, but in this instance, it doesn't count. If I had to deal with a woman right now, I would be in serious trouble. She still has 3000-5000 more words to say out of her wonderful head before she sleeps. I've already have reached my max for the day so I have to recharge. Well, not really. I'm a bit of a talker, so I could talk to other people well beyond the 3000 limit most men have. I actually enjoy talk with other pepople and hope they enjoy talking with me too!
But another thought came to my head, Daylight Saving Time. If I get my schedule turned around to the way I want it, then I would be back in the same boat and have to change it again. Why don't I make one big change and then stick to it? All I can do is hope and have faith in the Lord that I will be able to do that.
-Dear Lord in Heaven, my God, my King, my Best Friend, thank you for today. It was beautiful and wonderful! Only You can create such great days! Only You can make the beauty that exists on this world. Only You!
-Father God, I pray for Your continued influence in my friend's life and use me as needed to achieve what You want in their life. I am Your man Lord, use me! I also pray for help Jesus! I need Your help to change my schedule, to change my sleep pattern. To change the way I process information in the evening, to actually make things boring to me, because I find just about anything interesting! Lord, I leave it up to You because I want to give You my morning, the first part of the day, to You! You are so worthy and deserve more praise than I will ever be able to give! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
That has been something I've been trying to do, not be a typical man. Well, I'm different in a lot of areas of my life, but coming home after work and just "clocking off", that is such a man. I know of hundreds of men that do that, and I guess I'm one of them.
Well, there is safety in numbers, but in this instance, it doesn't count. If I had to deal with a woman right now, I would be in serious trouble. She still has 3000-5000 more words to say out of her wonderful head before she sleeps. I've already have reached my max for the day so I have to recharge. Well, not really. I'm a bit of a talker, so I could talk to other people well beyond the 3000 limit most men have. I actually enjoy talk with other pepople and hope they enjoy talking with me too!
But another thought came to my head, Daylight Saving Time. If I get my schedule turned around to the way I want it, then I would be back in the same boat and have to change it again. Why don't I make one big change and then stick to it? All I can do is hope and have faith in the Lord that I will be able to do that.
-Dear Lord in Heaven, my God, my King, my Best Friend, thank you for today. It was beautiful and wonderful! Only You can create such great days! Only You can make the beauty that exists on this world. Only You!
-Father God, I pray for Your continued influence in my friend's life and use me as needed to achieve what You want in their life. I am Your man Lord, use me! I also pray for help Jesus! I need Your help to change my schedule, to change my sleep pattern. To change the way I process information in the evening, to actually make things boring to me, because I find just about anything interesting! Lord, I leave it up to You because I want to give You my morning, the first part of the day, to You! You are so worthy and deserve more praise than I will ever be able to give! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Psalm Dated 3-26-06
What is it that I seek from You Lord?
What is it that I want from You Lord?
I seek Your heart, mighty God.
I want Your love, mighty God.
I know You love to give it, if I seek it with my whole heart.
What is it that You seek from me?
What is it that You want from me?
You seek my heart.
You want my love.
I gladly give it to you as best as I can.
I will give as much of me as I can!
I know I am not You...so perfect and all knowing,
But I know You accept me as I am.
You are my God and there is no other god.
You are my Love and there is no other love.
I want You.
I need You.
I desire You.
You are important to me, and I will make that statement until the day I die.
You are my life.
You are life, and the way.
You are my God and You will not go away.
Bless me to help those You want helped.
Bless me with strength and courage to help them.
Bless me with love to love the unloveable.
Bless me with Your wisdom to know how to help them.
You are perfection, not a blemish on You.
You are real, without a hint of a shell.
Nothing can harm You, nothing can stop You.
You are God and I am not.
What is it that I want from You Lord?
I seek Your heart, mighty God.
I want Your love, mighty God.
I know You love to give it, if I seek it with my whole heart.
What is it that You seek from me?
What is it that You want from me?
You seek my heart.
You want my love.
I gladly give it to you as best as I can.
I will give as much of me as I can!
I know I am not You...so perfect and all knowing,
But I know You accept me as I am.
You are my God and there is no other god.
You are my Love and there is no other love.
I want You.
I need You.
I desire You.
You are important to me, and I will make that statement until the day I die.
You are my life.
You are life, and the way.
You are my God and You will not go away.
Bless me to help those You want helped.
Bless me with strength and courage to help them.
Bless me with love to love the unloveable.
Bless me with Your wisdom to know how to help them.
You are perfection, not a blemish on You.
You are real, without a hint of a shell.
Nothing can harm You, nothing can stop You.
You are God and I am not.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
I apologize...
I have been leaving some really lame posts with little substance to them! Please forgive me?
Cramps of a non-female kind and printers.
I truly love the Lord and having His involvement in my life is awesome! Jesus most effective way to get me out of bed in the morning is to give me strange dreams OR leg cramps. I think His favorite is leg cramps.
I have very powerful calf muscles and rarely do they cause me any trouble. Recently, I've been developing eye popping calf cramps! You know, the ones that force your foot into thinking you are walking on your toes...yeah those. Not as bad as charlie horsed, but effective enough to wake you up in a hurry. Well, Jesus wanted me up this morning. Not sure why, but I tried to stay awake, but the leg cramps got worse and I finally woke up. There must be a reason...or He just wanted to get me out of bed for none other than to not let me get lazy. Do I blame Him, well, I am not sure. He wants me to do many things of which I haven't been very good at keeping up on them. When I lost my job last June, I got out of my rhythm and slipped on doing things that I normally did. Plus, I've been helping someone with some personal matters.
I do know this, my ministry Robot printer is flaking out again. Age and massive over use has taken it's toll on the poor thing. So, I decided to do some work on it. The arm had some loose screws and the picker teeth lost a rubber band...yes, that is correct a RUBBER BAND. I tightened everything, replaced the rubber band, and oiled the guides and lifting screw...and it runs well now! Granted, the printer squeals like a pig sometimes (inkjets are sloppy with their ink and spew it everywhere) because there is ink in some cog or wheel someplace. The guide bar for the print head is all oiled, so I know that isn't the case. Well, it just needs to go back to the manufacturer to get overhauled!
We do have another printer/robot in mind and hope to get it soon. It can print many more disks at a time and uses HP print technology. In my opinion, HP technology prints better on CDs. As to being more ink pinching, the cows are out on that. So far, our Primera Technology Signature Pro can squeeze out almost 1000 CDs with a single color cart. That is provided I can reduce the amount of ink it uses and color content of the graphics. I would love to do full rich color, dynamic graphics, with powerful bold text. But, that would be what I want, not what the Lord wants. My church doesn't mind it if we did the full graphics, but the costs of the CDs would jump through the roof. When we had our failed CD printer (of a brand I will not mention, unless you care to know, leave a comment [moderated] with your email address and I will tell you want it was), our ink use was very high when we were using it. If I remember, we were getting about 380 to 400 CDs per cartridge, which was twice as large as the Primera ink cartridge, and almost double the cost.
So today, I am watching the printer/robot to ensure it prints and doesn't swing it's arm into the input bay. I observed this before and was very concerned. All I can do is leave it up to the Lord to make sure it works. It is His work that we do after all and these messages are saving lives and finding new ones for His family. They are going all over the world. I have a graphic, but it isn't on the computer I am posting from. Once I put in the places the CDs are going to, it was awesome! Some of the CDs bounce through others before they reach their final destination. God is awesome and nothing will ever get in His way!
-Father, today, I tried to get into Your Word, but I wasn't mentally there. Please forgive me. I feel like I am slipping, so PLEASE grab a hold of me and stop the sliding! I want to be Yours, I want Your influence in my life, I want Your love to guide me through all the joys and pitfalls of life! I am Your son, Your child, Yours, period. You are my God, my Father, my Savior, my Best Friend and nothing will ever compare to the greatness of all that You are and can do. Bring me close to You, enfold me in Your loving arms, sit me upon Your peaceful lap, like a Father who loves His son and wants to enjoy a moment of closeness with him. You are my God, and I will love You forever and ever! In Jesus' name I pray, amen!
I have very powerful calf muscles and rarely do they cause me any trouble. Recently, I've been developing eye popping calf cramps! You know, the ones that force your foot into thinking you are walking on your toes...yeah those. Not as bad as charlie horsed, but effective enough to wake you up in a hurry. Well, Jesus wanted me up this morning. Not sure why, but I tried to stay awake, but the leg cramps got worse and I finally woke up. There must be a reason...or He just wanted to get me out of bed for none other than to not let me get lazy. Do I blame Him, well, I am not sure. He wants me to do many things of which I haven't been very good at keeping up on them. When I lost my job last June, I got out of my rhythm and slipped on doing things that I normally did. Plus, I've been helping someone with some personal matters.
I do know this, my ministry Robot printer is flaking out again. Age and massive over use has taken it's toll on the poor thing. So, I decided to do some work on it. The arm had some loose screws and the picker teeth lost a rubber band...yes, that is correct a RUBBER BAND. I tightened everything, replaced the rubber band, and oiled the guides and lifting screw...and it runs well now! Granted, the printer squeals like a pig sometimes (inkjets are sloppy with their ink and spew it everywhere) because there is ink in some cog or wheel someplace. The guide bar for the print head is all oiled, so I know that isn't the case. Well, it just needs to go back to the manufacturer to get overhauled!
We do have another printer/robot in mind and hope to get it soon. It can print many more disks at a time and uses HP print technology. In my opinion, HP technology prints better on CDs. As to being more ink pinching, the cows are out on that. So far, our Primera Technology Signature Pro can squeeze out almost 1000 CDs with a single color cart. That is provided I can reduce the amount of ink it uses and color content of the graphics. I would love to do full rich color, dynamic graphics, with powerful bold text. But, that would be what I want, not what the Lord wants. My church doesn't mind it if we did the full graphics, but the costs of the CDs would jump through the roof. When we had our failed CD printer (of a brand I will not mention, unless you care to know, leave a comment [moderated] with your email address and I will tell you want it was), our ink use was very high when we were using it. If I remember, we were getting about 380 to 400 CDs per cartridge, which was twice as large as the Primera ink cartridge, and almost double the cost.
So today, I am watching the printer/robot to ensure it prints and doesn't swing it's arm into the input bay. I observed this before and was very concerned. All I can do is leave it up to the Lord to make sure it works. It is His work that we do after all and these messages are saving lives and finding new ones for His family. They are going all over the world. I have a graphic, but it isn't on the computer I am posting from. Once I put in the places the CDs are going to, it was awesome! Some of the CDs bounce through others before they reach their final destination. God is awesome and nothing will ever get in His way!
-Father, today, I tried to get into Your Word, but I wasn't mentally there. Please forgive me. I feel like I am slipping, so PLEASE grab a hold of me and stop the sliding! I want to be Yours, I want Your influence in my life, I want Your love to guide me through all the joys and pitfalls of life! I am Your son, Your child, Yours, period. You are my God, my Father, my Savior, my Best Friend and nothing will ever compare to the greatness of all that You are and can do. Bring me close to You, enfold me in Your loving arms, sit me upon Your peaceful lap, like a Father who loves His son and wants to enjoy a moment of closeness with him. You are my God, and I will love You forever and ever! In Jesus' name I pray, amen!
Friday, March 24, 2006
Hated by the World.
Yes, I am. I am hated because of what I beleive, how I love, who I am. And I know my Lord protects me, holds me, comforts me, guides me. Right now, I need His guidance more than ever because I don't want to walk away from Him!
My God is an awesome God and there is no other God but Him. He hears prayer and saves those who cry out to Him! His love goes beyond comprehension and covers all sin! Jesus, who gave His life so that you can live, loves you- no matter what. There is nothing that He can't do and will do just about anything to save someone! He will come running, if you call out to Him. He will stop at nothing to save you! Jesus is so awesome...!
This post is nothing special, just my desire to love the Lord and to show it. I have been very busy with helping someone out of a terrific jam, plus work has been very busy too. But, I think the Lord is OK with me not blogging. Because to Him, that one person that gets saved is worth more than the whole world! He loves us THAT MUCH and more. Far more. Can you imagine that? Jesus is awesome...!
I give praise to Jesus for hearing my prayers. I give praise to the Lord for solving a hurting soul's troubles. I give praise to the Lord for letting that soul know, He was there. I give praise to the Lord for keeping me in this soul's life so I could help! Every time I gave them up to You, there was more for me to follow! You saved them Lord, not me and I am thankful to be your tool to stop the torment of someone's HEART! I hope it is Yours now and I know You'll do a better job of caring for them than any human on this earth! Blessed is He would saves the souls of the weak! In Your name I pray, Amen!
My God is an awesome God and there is no other God but Him. He hears prayer and saves those who cry out to Him! His love goes beyond comprehension and covers all sin! Jesus, who gave His life so that you can live, loves you- no matter what. There is nothing that He can't do and will do just about anything to save someone! He will come running, if you call out to Him. He will stop at nothing to save you! Jesus is so awesome...!
This post is nothing special, just my desire to love the Lord and to show it. I have been very busy with helping someone out of a terrific jam, plus work has been very busy too. But, I think the Lord is OK with me not blogging. Because to Him, that one person that gets saved is worth more than the whole world! He loves us THAT MUCH and more. Far more. Can you imagine that? Jesus is awesome...!
I give praise to Jesus for hearing my prayers. I give praise to the Lord for solving a hurting soul's troubles. I give praise to the Lord for letting that soul know, He was there. I give praise to the Lord for keeping me in this soul's life so I could help! Every time I gave them up to You, there was more for me to follow! You saved them Lord, not me and I am thankful to be your tool to stop the torment of someone's HEART! I hope it is Yours now and I know You'll do a better job of caring for them than any human on this earth! Blessed is He would saves the souls of the weak! In Your name I pray, Amen!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Friends not servants.
Jesus told his disciples, "You are my friends...because servants don't understand what their master is thinking." John 15:13-14 (MSG)
I want the Lord as my friend. I want Him to be my best buddy, best friend, best everything. I so desire that relationship. No human will ever fill the void I have in my heart and soul, but He can. I also want to learn things that have eternal consquences. I pray for His guidance in this matter. Because life is so short, but with Him, it will be eternal, so not learn something that will be used forever? That would be a wise thing to do.
But to see Jesus say, "You are my friends..." takes my breath. Jesus wants me to be His friend. He wants to be your friend. I just want to throw myself on the ground and let it all loose. He lowers Himself so much to meet us and to be with us. Jesus, I want YOU!
I also want to be on His vine and produce great quantities of grapes! In John 15:1-8, He tells us He is the Vine and we are the branches that produce grapes and the Father is the Farmer. He will prune the branches, removing the dead ones and straightning up the living ones, cutting off that doesn't need to be there. His work will ensure a good crop! I have survived one pruning, and it was a big clean up job! I feel like the one and only plant I have in my aparment. My bamboo! Once in awhile, I will clean it up by pruning the leaves.
- My Lord, I know I don't see what you're doing now, but I do see what you did after several months had passed. I am greatful for the pruning you did in my life and I pray for the strength to survive the next one. I also pray to learn and experience eternal things that can be used while I am with You. Lord I love You and desire that relationship that I can never find with another person. I choose You, just like You choose me and the other 12! In You name I pray, Amen.
I want the Lord as my friend. I want Him to be my best buddy, best friend, best everything. I so desire that relationship. No human will ever fill the void I have in my heart and soul, but He can. I also want to learn things that have eternal consquences. I pray for His guidance in this matter. Because life is so short, but with Him, it will be eternal, so not learn something that will be used forever? That would be a wise thing to do.
But to see Jesus say, "You are my friends..." takes my breath. Jesus wants me to be His friend. He wants to be your friend. I just want to throw myself on the ground and let it all loose. He lowers Himself so much to meet us and to be with us. Jesus, I want YOU!
I also want to be on His vine and produce great quantities of grapes! In John 15:1-8, He tells us He is the Vine and we are the branches that produce grapes and the Father is the Farmer. He will prune the branches, removing the dead ones and straightning up the living ones, cutting off that doesn't need to be there. His work will ensure a good crop! I have survived one pruning, and it was a big clean up job! I feel like the one and only plant I have in my aparment. My bamboo! Once in awhile, I will clean it up by pruning the leaves.
- My Lord, I know I don't see what you're doing now, but I do see what you did after several months had passed. I am greatful for the pruning you did in my life and I pray for the strength to survive the next one. I also pray to learn and experience eternal things that can be used while I am with You. Lord I love You and desire that relationship that I can never find with another person. I choose You, just like You choose me and the other 12! In You name I pray, Amen.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Fisher of People.
What am I to the Lord? Do I have value? Am I hear to do something else besides my own life?
The last two questions I would answer Yes to. The first's answer is: A fisher of people. I am a fisher. What was Jesus really talking about? He wants us to help others hear the Good News, the Massiah has come, died for our sins and is now living in heaven with the Lord at His right side.
We are selfish, when it comes down to it, in our choice to become a Christian. But only yourself can choose to become a Christian. I can't decide for you and neither can anyone else you know. Only you can save yourself. Of that, I have been attacked by someone very close to me, as being selfish for what I did and I should have taken them with me. Salvation is a gift given to one person when it is presented. Granted, hundreds might see the salvation, and each can accept it then, but it is presented as if it is only to that individual person. Am I making sense? God custom taylors grace on a per individual basis. That day I accepted Christ back into my life, it was custom made just for me and no one else. And that is how God will do it for you.
-Lord, my heart is heavy with sorrow. Personal and external. I pray for those who are down, crushed and have hearts that are full of pain and sorrow! Lord, bless them with what is needed to succeed and to remove what is causing the problem. Help them see Your awesome love! I pray for my own sorrow. My hands are tied and I'm unable to affect it. So, Father, I give it up to You, because I know You can fix it or help them fix it. I seek comfort or peace for those in so much pain and there is nothing I can do to help, but be there for them. Help me be there for them Lord! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
The last two questions I would answer Yes to. The first's answer is: A fisher of people. I am a fisher. What was Jesus really talking about? He wants us to help others hear the Good News, the Massiah has come, died for our sins and is now living in heaven with the Lord at His right side.
We are selfish, when it comes down to it, in our choice to become a Christian. But only yourself can choose to become a Christian. I can't decide for you and neither can anyone else you know. Only you can save yourself. Of that, I have been attacked by someone very close to me, as being selfish for what I did and I should have taken them with me. Salvation is a gift given to one person when it is presented. Granted, hundreds might see the salvation, and each can accept it then, but it is presented as if it is only to that individual person. Am I making sense? God custom taylors grace on a per individual basis. That day I accepted Christ back into my life, it was custom made just for me and no one else. And that is how God will do it for you.
-Lord, my heart is heavy with sorrow. Personal and external. I pray for those who are down, crushed and have hearts that are full of pain and sorrow! Lord, bless them with what is needed to succeed and to remove what is causing the problem. Help them see Your awesome love! I pray for my own sorrow. My hands are tied and I'm unable to affect it. So, Father, I give it up to You, because I know You can fix it or help them fix it. I seek comfort or peace for those in so much pain and there is nothing I can do to help, but be there for them. Help me be there for them Lord! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Memories.
I feel like a fool today. Also, I am up at 4 AM for work. I'm driving out to Moberly, MO to educate and install equipment. This is going to be fun because I know the Lord is going to be with me.
But, I wanted to get something off my chest. I have a bad memory and it's very recent. There was a visiting pastor from Saddleback Church (Rick Warren's church) who spoke today. It was funny because I could tell he was from California. He had tan skin and his clothes were comfortable and relaxed and up to date. Yet, we wasn't origonally from LA, but from Kentucky.
Well, the idiot that was I asked him if he knew Michael W. Smith, who was from KY and I think still lives there... The slight look I noticed and the change in his behavior towards me was evident. It wasn't hostile, but he wanted to end the conversation quickly.
I have been tormented, for some stupid reason by some lower level demon, about this. I want to make it clear: If I sinned against this man, then the Lord will forgive me. Also, I pray for forgiveness from him because that was the most stupid thing I could have ever said...
There! It is off my chest, and YOU little demon are out of a job. Go home to your, whatever home, and whimper. The Lord of all of Creation has made me clean and justified, in His name, Amen!
But, I wanted to get something off my chest. I have a bad memory and it's very recent. There was a visiting pastor from Saddleback Church (Rick Warren's church) who spoke today. It was funny because I could tell he was from California. He had tan skin and his clothes were comfortable and relaxed and up to date. Yet, we wasn't origonally from LA, but from Kentucky.
Well, the idiot that was I asked him if he knew Michael W. Smith, who was from KY and I think still lives there... The slight look I noticed and the change in his behavior towards me was evident. It wasn't hostile, but he wanted to end the conversation quickly.
I have been tormented, for some stupid reason by some lower level demon, about this. I want to make it clear: If I sinned against this man, then the Lord will forgive me. Also, I pray for forgiveness from him because that was the most stupid thing I could have ever said...
There! It is off my chest, and YOU little demon are out of a job. Go home to your, whatever home, and whimper. The Lord of all of Creation has made me clean and justified, in His name, Amen!
Sunday, March 19, 2006
The future is...
Unknown.
I have to leave it up God. I have to. I have desires for things, but they are worthless unless I have given myself up to His desires for me. I fully realize that!
I know that people don't want to hear that because everyone has a plan. Well, my plan is God's plan. I leave it all to Him, everything. Do I have goals? There are ideas of what I want to do, but they do have to match what He wants of me. So those are on hold or might not happen at all. All I can do is pray to the Lord on the direction He wants me to take.
What is my purpose? As Rick Warren put it at the beginning of his book, Purpose Driven Life, "It's not about you." Life isn't about me and the moment I realized that, things changed. I wanted to do what the Lord wants of me. I try and I know I'm not perfect. In fact, I have stumbled and failed many times, but I have had major victories because of Him being in my life. Because of my own stupid, foolish actions, I am with Him now, loving and encouraging others in the Family of God. I want people to succeed with knowing the Lord. The rest is up to them.
The things that are happening now, belong to the Lord. Sure, I am struggling to adjust my schedule so that He gets the first part of my day- after my brain wakes up. I admit, I am a very dumb person in the morning and it takes me several minutes to wind up. So I try to give Him my best state of mind.
I so want more of the Lord in my life. I know that sounds dangerous, and it is, but it is something I truly desire. When I am close to Him, my heart sings out in praise, my soul dances with glee, my spirit plays beautiful music- which all glorifies Him. Those days, when I am not as close as I want to be to the Lord, my heart is in pain, my soul dances like it has two left feet, and my spirit plays out of tune music.
He knows I am troubled by my inability to get my schedule under control. He knows, how I feel about the new job; I am thankful for it, and is worthless without Him in it also. God comes first in my life and I will be very blunt with people about that: I will pick God over you any day.
If He wants me to do something, I will make sure it gets done, even if it means my own discomfort. I work in two ministries at my church (as I have mentioned before) and one of them involves designing and printing CD labels for the messages. I have been at my church for hours on end, work, designing, printing, baby sitting equipment as they churn out these CD's. I do this all for free and the CD's are give away for free. My church strongly believes one should not charge for a message! I feel the same way.
I have been to a church that had a bookstore/message center and I was curious what they had to offer. I understand charging for books, and in most cases, for a tiny, tiny profit. But the CD's and DVD's this church had to offer were insanely priced!! $35 for a DVD?! That was all I wanted to see and left the store. I felt like Jesus when He entered the temple and overturned the money changers tables- I was angry! How could they do that? Sure, they need money, but that much for a video? And it was the senior pastor of the church, not a guest speaker! It was then, my eyes saw what the Father wanted me to see and what was going on at this church. They seemed to be all about the bling and not the saving. They seemed to be more interested in your money and not filling your spiritual tummy. Those types of churches seem so fake to me, empty of real passion, and genuine kindness. I hope and pray to the Lord, my church doesn't turn into one like that and stays humble and accepts the will of God, and His plan for its future.
-Father God, Lord Jesus, I give up to You my sins and I pray for Your forgiveness. I know I am a sinner and I continue to pray for Your changing influence in my life. Lord, I want to be closer to You, I want more of You in my life! I also want to be used by You, because I know, I am Your man to help as best as I can! Jesus, help me bend to this new schedule I am in so I can give You a better slice of my time each and every day. Teach me more of Your Word and how I can use it to help others find You and see Your love for them. You are the light of my life! You are the way because I see that now. You are a part of my life that none can separate. You are the love of my life because none have been able to get close to me as You have. You are the reason I live. Thank You Lord for giving me life and for allowing me to experience what I have gone through. I feel more blessed each and every day, even it I don't realize it! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
I have to leave it up God. I have to. I have desires for things, but they are worthless unless I have given myself up to His desires for me. I fully realize that!
I know that people don't want to hear that because everyone has a plan. Well, my plan is God's plan. I leave it all to Him, everything. Do I have goals? There are ideas of what I want to do, but they do have to match what He wants of me. So those are on hold or might not happen at all. All I can do is pray to the Lord on the direction He wants me to take.
What is my purpose? As Rick Warren put it at the beginning of his book, Purpose Driven Life, "It's not about you." Life isn't about me and the moment I realized that, things changed. I wanted to do what the Lord wants of me. I try and I know I'm not perfect. In fact, I have stumbled and failed many times, but I have had major victories because of Him being in my life. Because of my own stupid, foolish actions, I am with Him now, loving and encouraging others in the Family of God. I want people to succeed with knowing the Lord. The rest is up to them.
The things that are happening now, belong to the Lord. Sure, I am struggling to adjust my schedule so that He gets the first part of my day- after my brain wakes up. I admit, I am a very dumb person in the morning and it takes me several minutes to wind up. So I try to give Him my best state of mind.
I so want more of the Lord in my life. I know that sounds dangerous, and it is, but it is something I truly desire. When I am close to Him, my heart sings out in praise, my soul dances with glee, my spirit plays beautiful music- which all glorifies Him. Those days, when I am not as close as I want to be to the Lord, my heart is in pain, my soul dances like it has two left feet, and my spirit plays out of tune music.
He knows I am troubled by my inability to get my schedule under control. He knows, how I feel about the new job; I am thankful for it, and is worthless without Him in it also. God comes first in my life and I will be very blunt with people about that: I will pick God over you any day.
If He wants me to do something, I will make sure it gets done, even if it means my own discomfort. I work in two ministries at my church (as I have mentioned before) and one of them involves designing and printing CD labels for the messages. I have been at my church for hours on end, work, designing, printing, baby sitting equipment as they churn out these CD's. I do this all for free and the CD's are give away for free. My church strongly believes one should not charge for a message! I feel the same way.
I have been to a church that had a bookstore/message center and I was curious what they had to offer. I understand charging for books, and in most cases, for a tiny, tiny profit. But the CD's and DVD's this church had to offer were insanely priced!! $35 for a DVD?! That was all I wanted to see and left the store. I felt like Jesus when He entered the temple and overturned the money changers tables- I was angry! How could they do that? Sure, they need money, but that much for a video? And it was the senior pastor of the church, not a guest speaker! It was then, my eyes saw what the Father wanted me to see and what was going on at this church. They seemed to be all about the bling and not the saving. They seemed to be more interested in your money and not filling your spiritual tummy. Those types of churches seem so fake to me, empty of real passion, and genuine kindness. I hope and pray to the Lord, my church doesn't turn into one like that and stays humble and accepts the will of God, and His plan for its future.
-Father God, Lord Jesus, I give up to You my sins and I pray for Your forgiveness. I know I am a sinner and I continue to pray for Your changing influence in my life. Lord, I want to be closer to You, I want more of You in my life! I also want to be used by You, because I know, I am Your man to help as best as I can! Jesus, help me bend to this new schedule I am in so I can give You a better slice of my time each and every day. Teach me more of Your Word and how I can use it to help others find You and see Your love for them. You are the light of my life! You are the way because I see that now. You are a part of my life that none can separate. You are the love of my life because none have been able to get close to me as You have. You are the reason I live. Thank You Lord for giving me life and for allowing me to experience what I have gone through. I feel more blessed each and every day, even it I don't realize it! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Feed the People, again!
Today, over 310 people have been given hot full plates of food and tea. Each and everyone of these people have been blesses in one way or another. They've also been given a glimpse of the Lord's love for them!
No matter what they have done, are doing, or will do, God will still love them. He accepts them with all of their faults. He desires them, no matter what. Imagine that? The God of the Universe, of Heaven, and beyond, wants imperfect and corruptible people. In fact, I would place myself into their category because we are all imperfect and full of sin. Yet, today, God used me to show those that are lost or being driven under for some unknown reason, He loves them and desires them. To me, a large steaming plate of food on a cold day, without charge and prepared by hand by volunteers, speaks volumes to me. God is love!
Also today, I discovered how to enjoy life even more with people I don't even know. A person can call this effect "familyhood". Basically, its when Christians, who are real Believers in Christ, get together and have a great time as brothers and sisters of the Lord! And believe me, the Lord can turn any boring party, as long as it is recognized that He is the reason we are there, into a fantastic adventure of joy and happiness! Jesus wants us to enjoy life! He wants us to be in fellowship with each other! He wants us to love one another and He will use His gifts to help us enjoy our time together!
I am so thankful to Him because of this great day! Today was His and was for Him. We fed many, many people and they graciously accepted the food and blessed us while we blessed them! It was truly wonderful to see their eyes light up at the site of this food! And I got to see the Lord in each of their eyes, because He said "For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me." (Matt 25:35-36 NLT) Oh, yeah, we also gave them socks, some clothes, gloves, soap, water, tea...It was all given, for free! And Jesus was in each of them. The passion I feel over this whole thing goes beyond comprehension! I helped feed God today, or rather over 310 individuals of God! :)
In either case, I got some photos and plan to post them when the server is ready! Or is it ready now... If you see something, then it is! :)
-My Lord, who rules on High, I am awe at the this great day! I feel for those that are going to be outside in the cold and slush. I feel for those who are going to bed on cardboard or are sleeping in a dangerous places. I feel for those who are suffering at the hand of the devil! My Lord, keep them safe tomorrow! Bless them with so much love, joy and peace, they won't know what to do with it! Please watch over my mother as she drives home it the bad weather, bless her with good reflexes and insight as she drives! Again, thank you for today! In Jesus name I pray, Amen
Friday, March 17, 2006
Good health.
I had a doctors appointment today and I was glad to have it. I have been curious as to what my weight is and how I am doing, internally. Also, to tell them I have been experiencing some other problems that might be related to Diverticculitus (spelling?). All I can do is leave it up to the Lord to solve.
But, after having my blood drawn, they tested it and found that I am actually in very good health! No diabeties, low Cholesterol, and other readings were good. I will say, I questioned them about my blood pressure, which was good, it did have a high seconard number. I was told my heart is not resting after it beats as well as it can be. Also, my LDL was borderline at 101 with a suggested high of 100. I was happy, yet the doctor was more happier than me. She decided to print it out!
--Lord, tonight I pray for the man that experienced a massive heart attack. I pray for his family and loved ones at they cope with this traggedy. Jesus, I also pray for those going through hard relationships an the pain associated with them. Please bless them as they are in need of your forgiveness and strength. Lord, I pray for those that are hungry and in need of shelter, bless them with what they need to live in this inthe world! I am tired and I ask for your blessing upon my sleep and others who need sleep too. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
But, after having my blood drawn, they tested it and found that I am actually in very good health! No diabeties, low Cholesterol, and other readings were good. I will say, I questioned them about my blood pressure, which was good, it did have a high seconard number. I was told my heart is not resting after it beats as well as it can be. Also, my LDL was borderline at 101 with a suggested high of 100. I was happy, yet the doctor was more happier than me. She decided to print it out!
--Lord, tonight I pray for the man that experienced a massive heart attack. I pray for his family and loved ones at they cope with this traggedy. Jesus, I also pray for those going through hard relationships an the pain associated with them. Please bless them as they are in need of your forgiveness and strength. Lord, I pray for those that are hungry and in need of shelter, bless them with what they need to live in this inthe world! I am tired and I ask for your blessing upon my sleep and others who need sleep too. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Getting something straight...
Yesterday, I went to a mid-week service that focused on questions we might have or Jesus might have. This mid-weeks message was on a question Jesus asked his disciples: "Who do you think I am?"
I have loved and known the Lord Jesus for who He was and is and will be. But, have I said what He was? I am not sure, so I want to make it clear: Jesus is the Christ and the Son of the Living God. He is THE ONE, THE LAMB, THE MESSIAH!
Sorry for not blogging yesterday. I was busy setting up a server so I can host my own photos. I'm a very visual based person and not having photos is like being blind to me! Enjoy your day and may the Lord bless it with peace and happiness!
I have loved and known the Lord Jesus for who He was and is and will be. But, have I said what He was? I am not sure, so I want to make it clear: Jesus is the Christ and the Son of the Living God. He is THE ONE, THE LAMB, THE MESSIAH!
Sorry for not blogging yesterday. I was busy setting up a server so I can host my own photos. I'm a very visual based person and not having photos is like being blind to me! Enjoy your day and may the Lord bless it with peace and happiness!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
A great gift!
On this day, one of my nieces was born, 15 years ago! The best thing I can say is I am very proud of her, happy for her, and excited for her.
Many, many months ago, I prayed for her salvation. She was resistive of anything related to the Lord and I eventually stopped, since she (through her younger sister) asked me to stop. I was really hoping to talk with her today and the Lord certainly answered another prayer because I was able to see her and wish her a Happy Birthday! But the most fantastic thing was she is going to church now, and is involved in FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). She even got my brother to attend. Folks, this brings me to my knees...the Lord truly is wonderful, and hears prayers! There is nothing that I can say beyond this, He deserves all praise and glory!
The wonder of the Lord exceeds any expectation I will ever have. This glory brightens the lives of anyone who loves Him. Holy is the Lord for His love covers all and He seeks our hearts, attention, and love! He wants us, just as I want Him. I desire His holiness and perfect love because it soaks my soul and allows me to continue to love others! My God is not some wooden idol or some picture. He is everywhere and exists in our hearts, minds and spirit! God is my God. God is your God. God is God and I am not!
I must go to bed. I have had a slow to busy day today and I seek the Fathers blessing upon my sleep. For some reason, I feel very lonely tonight. Yeah, I know its selfish, and the feeling went away quickly after I asked the Lord for help. He has a plan, and I have to accept that, even if it means a lot of pain and suffering.
Good night everyone, and sweet dreams.
Many, many months ago, I prayed for her salvation. She was resistive of anything related to the Lord and I eventually stopped, since she (through her younger sister) asked me to stop. I was really hoping to talk with her today and the Lord certainly answered another prayer because I was able to see her and wish her a Happy Birthday! But the most fantastic thing was she is going to church now, and is involved in FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). She even got my brother to attend. Folks, this brings me to my knees...the Lord truly is wonderful, and hears prayers! There is nothing that I can say beyond this, He deserves all praise and glory!
The wonder of the Lord exceeds any expectation I will ever have. This glory brightens the lives of anyone who loves Him. Holy is the Lord for His love covers all and He seeks our hearts, attention, and love! He wants us, just as I want Him. I desire His holiness and perfect love because it soaks my soul and allows me to continue to love others! My God is not some wooden idol or some picture. He is everywhere and exists in our hearts, minds and spirit! God is my God. God is your God. God is God and I am not!
I must go to bed. I have had a slow to busy day today and I seek the Fathers blessing upon my sleep. For some reason, I feel very lonely tonight. Yeah, I know its selfish, and the feeling went away quickly after I asked the Lord for help. He has a plan, and I have to accept that, even if it means a lot of pain and suffering.
Good night everyone, and sweet dreams.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Condemn or not to condemn that is the question.
[NOTE- I forgot to spell check and proof read my stuff! Sorry for the visual pain!]
Listen, I don't want to condemn people because of their choices. That is their decision, not mine. Who am I to say what religion is perfect? I am but a man with only a mans vision, except for when the Lord points something out to me. That, I leave up to Him. He convicts me to speak out about matters and to tell people about Himself and what He desires. And that is a relationship. Pure and simple.
I was reading in the Gospel of John, and hit the beginning of Chapter 8. His choice to protect an adulteress woman or a whore was important, because it saved her soul and it made a point to the attackers. "If you are free of sin, let you be the first to cast the first stone." [Paraphrased]
There are so many of us that attack sinners, even to the point of making them worthless, we forget the point. Save them, don't attack them! Save their spirits, don't kill them! Save their hearts, don't crush them! SAVE THEM! It doesn't make any difference who they are, they are loved by the Lord.
So many people think there are others who are unloveable, which there aren't. God loves them all and holds out for them, even until the end and hopes their "free will" will choose Him. God doesn't want to see His creations destroyed like a child destroys old toys! HE LOVES THEM!
It takes energy, commitment and prayer to deal with those who need it. Do you think you are perfect and can judge another and condemn them because YOU don't like it? God made us free to choose our course in life, you have to accept what others choose.
-Jesus, we are a world of condemners. We find fault in all that happens and blame others for our own mistakes. We also condemn those who need the most love to make it to You. You accept them regardless of what they have done or are doing or will do! Father, I worship You and give thanks for today and this time! You are so worthy of praise, love and worship! Thank You for loving me and dying to the cross for my sins! In Jesus name, Amen
Listen, I don't want to condemn people because of their choices. That is their decision, not mine. Who am I to say what religion is perfect? I am but a man with only a mans vision, except for when the Lord points something out to me. That, I leave up to Him. He convicts me to speak out about matters and to tell people about Himself and what He desires. And that is a relationship. Pure and simple.
I was reading in the Gospel of John, and hit the beginning of Chapter 8. His choice to protect an adulteress woman or a whore was important, because it saved her soul and it made a point to the attackers. "If you are free of sin, let you be the first to cast the first stone." [Paraphrased]
There are so many of us that attack sinners, even to the point of making them worthless, we forget the point. Save them, don't attack them! Save their spirits, don't kill them! Save their hearts, don't crush them! SAVE THEM! It doesn't make any difference who they are, they are loved by the Lord.
So many people think there are others who are unloveable, which there aren't. God loves them all and holds out for them, even until the end and hopes their "free will" will choose Him. God doesn't want to see His creations destroyed like a child destroys old toys! HE LOVES THEM!
It takes energy, commitment and prayer to deal with those who need it. Do you think you are perfect and can judge another and condemn them because YOU don't like it? God made us free to choose our course in life, you have to accept what others choose.
-Jesus, we are a world of condemners. We find fault in all that happens and blame others for our own mistakes. We also condemn those who need the most love to make it to You. You accept them regardless of what they have done or are doing or will do! Father, I worship You and give thanks for today and this time! You are so worthy of praise, love and worship! Thank You for loving me and dying to the cross for my sins! In Jesus name, Amen
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Storms.
What a fantastical day! God was busy destroying Kansas City today... Actually, He wasn't, but it looked like it. Several massive storms passed through and there are more coming! I haven't seen such powerful storms this early in the year. Well, if they did happen, I forgot about them.
Yet these left an impact upon me. They kept coming and coming and coming! Tornados, hail, lakes of rain, more hail, high winds...its almost biblical! It's times like these I truely fear the Lord! He is so awesome and powerful, and there is none like Him!
I was reading from Good Morning God and I felt I should share this:
"Yes, dwell much upon the positives! Let the good things of life saturate your mind; think much about them and do not give thought to the negative. Always think upon the positive. Concentrate upon each blessing until you are filled with joy! Always you have concentrated most upon the negatives of life. Now it is time to learn to fill your thoughts with the good. You are learning to wear the armor of God."
I have been communicating with a person who feels much negativity. Who doesn't these days? But, in our conversations, I try to be positive and up lifting and already, I can see the difference in this person's life! God called me to speak with them. He gave me the courage to say, "I care and I am not afraid to get the messes of your life upon me because I have my own too." God has made life to be insanely interesting like that! It just makes me love Him more and more each and everyday!
You know, I thought my life was very unique. I have never met someone or heard of someone who lost their father at a young age. Mostly, I know of people who were older who lost their dad. My father joined the Lord when I was five. I also found someone else who lost their father at the same age. I hope to one day speak to this person about their lifes experiences after all that happened.
Verse for today is: Proverbs 12:4 (MSG)
A hearty wife invigorates her husband,
but a frigid woman is cancer to the bones.
This is so true and I will not allaborate. :)
Enjoy the day!
--Lord Jesus, whom I want to give my all and to share my all! Help me be real, honest, open, and unjudgemental. Let me see with unclouded eyes, let me feel and share with those that hurt and beg for forgiveness! Lord, bless me and expand my territory! Take my hand and guide me down your path. Pull me away from evil and help me not cause pain to others and myself! Make my will bend to Yours and help me to see the folly of my own way! I pray Father for those in the Kansas City area who might be affected by the storms that rage in the area! Lord, keep them safe and protect those you need it the most! Care for the poor during this time and bless those who might loose it all! In Jesus name, who I know died upon the cross for me, I pray, Amen!
Yet these left an impact upon me. They kept coming and coming and coming! Tornados, hail, lakes of rain, more hail, high winds...its almost biblical! It's times like these I truely fear the Lord! He is so awesome and powerful, and there is none like Him!
I was reading from Good Morning God and I felt I should share this:
"Yes, dwell much upon the positives! Let the good things of life saturate your mind; think much about them and do not give thought to the negative. Always think upon the positive. Concentrate upon each blessing until you are filled with joy! Always you have concentrated most upon the negatives of life. Now it is time to learn to fill your thoughts with the good. You are learning to wear the armor of God."
I have been communicating with a person who feels much negativity. Who doesn't these days? But, in our conversations, I try to be positive and up lifting and already, I can see the difference in this person's life! God called me to speak with them. He gave me the courage to say, "I care and I am not afraid to get the messes of your life upon me because I have my own too." God has made life to be insanely interesting like that! It just makes me love Him more and more each and everyday!
You know, I thought my life was very unique. I have never met someone or heard of someone who lost their father at a young age. Mostly, I know of people who were older who lost their dad. My father joined the Lord when I was five. I also found someone else who lost their father at the same age. I hope to one day speak to this person about their lifes experiences after all that happened.
Verse for today is: Proverbs 12:4 (MSG)
A hearty wife invigorates her husband,
but a frigid woman is cancer to the bones.
This is so true and I will not allaborate. :)
Enjoy the day!
--Lord Jesus, whom I want to give my all and to share my all! Help me be real, honest, open, and unjudgemental. Let me see with unclouded eyes, let me feel and share with those that hurt and beg for forgiveness! Lord, bless me and expand my territory! Take my hand and guide me down your path. Pull me away from evil and help me not cause pain to others and myself! Make my will bend to Yours and help me to see the folly of my own way! I pray Father for those in the Kansas City area who might be affected by the storms that rage in the area! Lord, keep them safe and protect those you need it the most! Care for the poor during this time and bless those who might loose it all! In Jesus name, who I know died upon the cross for me, I pray, Amen!
Friday, March 10, 2006
Closer, my version.
My Lord! YOU are my God, yet sometimes, things drag me away from You. I will tell You, my heart is seeking something else to add to my life, yet I don't want to loose You! How do others combine Your love with another? Not to serve another, but to love another and have You?
What are You turning me into? There are few Christians that have experienced some of the troubles I have, but You want more from me. I know this. I sense this. Every time I think I have totally given myself to You, something else pops up to say, "I want more!"
I don't want to spin my gears to the point of stripping them, making them useless. Sadly, I don't stop when I do start spinning them. Father, my heart wants You more now. I want You more. Fill my soul, spirit and spiritual bucket to overflowing! I have the job I was seeking, but I now realize, its worthless next to You! I much rather have Your love and closeness than a job. But...I need a job to survive this world.
Help me wrest control of my will. Bend it to Yours and make it do Your bidding. I am Your slave, Your child, Your son. Love me, I beg You! Love me more for my desire is to be closer to You than ever! Even now, I shed tears for I know what You mean to me. You are my life. You are my heart. You are my God! Jesus, show Yourself to me and hug me, for it will be worth more than all the money of this sinful world!
You are my God, my King, my Lord, my Best Friend. Your love covers me, fills me, even goes before me. Your love is like a warm shower on a cold day! It fills the gaps, warms the outside and comforts the inside. Nothing has ever come close. Nothing is more special and pure than You. Yet, this week, I have been drawn by several things to distract me, to pull me, to stop me.
Don't let Satan win. Don't let Satan weaken me! I must remain strong for YOU! I know You don't need me, but You want me and that is more important! Help me to help others to come to You! Help me to help others to who are seeking forgiveness! Fill my heart, mind and soul with the right words to show them the way! I know You love each of us far more than the total! Individually, we were died for on the cross! And I shed more tears because it is so full of love!
Jesus, there is a child who is injured, physically and emotionally. She needs Your help and forgiveness! Lord, help her seek forgiveness. Help her open the eyes of her heart to You! Help her see, You want her! Use me or Roxanne to reach this child of Yours! I know You will help, because You love her. You heard her so many months ago, wanting forgiveness for what she has experienced and done. You guided me to her so I will never stop proclaiming Your greatness and Your love to her.
Mighty God, Protector of the weak, Defender of the depressed, Lover of souls, Judge of all, hear me! Listen to my cries! Seek me in my dreams. Find me in my heart! You are to be my God! You have restored me and I give You praise! Hosanna! Hallelujah! I shed tears of joy over You! My soul screams out in praise of You! Holy is my God! Holy is Jesus, the Son of the Living God, for none is more holy than He! HOLY IS THE LORD! Amen!
What are You turning me into? There are few Christians that have experienced some of the troubles I have, but You want more from me. I know this. I sense this. Every time I think I have totally given myself to You, something else pops up to say, "I want more!"
I don't want to spin my gears to the point of stripping them, making them useless. Sadly, I don't stop when I do start spinning them. Father, my heart wants You more now. I want You more. Fill my soul, spirit and spiritual bucket to overflowing! I have the job I was seeking, but I now realize, its worthless next to You! I much rather have Your love and closeness than a job. But...I need a job to survive this world.
Help me wrest control of my will. Bend it to Yours and make it do Your bidding. I am Your slave, Your child, Your son. Love me, I beg You! Love me more for my desire is to be closer to You than ever! Even now, I shed tears for I know what You mean to me. You are my life. You are my heart. You are my God! Jesus, show Yourself to me and hug me, for it will be worth more than all the money of this sinful world!
You are my God, my King, my Lord, my Best Friend. Your love covers me, fills me, even goes before me. Your love is like a warm shower on a cold day! It fills the gaps, warms the outside and comforts the inside. Nothing has ever come close. Nothing is more special and pure than You. Yet, this week, I have been drawn by several things to distract me, to pull me, to stop me.
Don't let Satan win. Don't let Satan weaken me! I must remain strong for YOU! I know You don't need me, but You want me and that is more important! Help me to help others to come to You! Help me to help others to who are seeking forgiveness! Fill my heart, mind and soul with the right words to show them the way! I know You love each of us far more than the total! Individually, we were died for on the cross! And I shed more tears because it is so full of love!
Jesus, there is a child who is injured, physically and emotionally. She needs Your help and forgiveness! Lord, help her seek forgiveness. Help her open the eyes of her heart to You! Help her see, You want her! Use me or Roxanne to reach this child of Yours! I know You will help, because You love her. You heard her so many months ago, wanting forgiveness for what she has experienced and done. You guided me to her so I will never stop proclaiming Your greatness and Your love to her.
Mighty God, Protector of the weak, Defender of the depressed, Lover of souls, Judge of all, hear me! Listen to my cries! Seek me in my dreams. Find me in my heart! You are to be my God! You have restored me and I give You praise! Hosanna! Hallelujah! I shed tears of joy over You! My soul screams out in praise of You! Holy is my God! Holy is Jesus, the Son of the Living God, for none is more holy than He! HOLY IS THE LORD! Amen!
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Amazing grace.
This week has been busy. Very busy. I've also haven't given my time to the Lord as well as I wanted to. I don't like it when I get like this, but I have to accept the situation for now and pray that He will help me adjust to the new schedule. I must give my time to Him each and every morning. I must start to exercise. I must live for Him and be healthy for Him. Because there are great and important things He wants me to do before I go to Him. He is my fire, my passion. He is the life I seek and desire. He is Jesus and He has forgiven me of my sins.
Glory to the Lord who reigns on high! None is more holy than He!
This will be short. My mind is shot and only certain actions will keep me awake. My the Lord love you more and more each day and I hope the eyes of your heart are open to Him.
Glory to the Lord who reigns on high! None is more holy than He!
This will be short. My mind is shot and only certain actions will keep me awake. My the Lord love you more and more each day and I hope the eyes of your heart are open to Him.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Getting used to change.
Me: Hi, my name is John.
Audience: Hi, John!
Me: And I'm blog owner who doesn't post...
Yep, that's me. I haven't posted very well or not at all during the past few days. I guess, I am trying to get used to the idea that I have a job. A real job. It takes up a lot of my time and when I get home, my mind and body are trashed. I also realized I haven't been getting into the Word very well, nor have I been spending good time with the Lord. All I can count on is His grace and love to let me recover and get order back to my life.
And I also realized I will have to get up earlier in the morning! That will be the only consistant time I will have to spend it with the Lord! I will also spend it exercising. I need to if I want to live and to be a good servant of the Lord.
Today, though, life was great! The work I did was good and I saved the client lots of money. I learned how to write up the numerous forms my new job requires. I was also given $300 today.
One of my small groups realized I was in need. You see, I will not get paid until the 14th and my bank accounts are nearly dry. I knew I wasn't going to make it until then and it would have ment little to no food. I was preparing for this and expecting to loose another 20 lbs- which wouldn't hurt me, but starvation isn't a good way to loose weight. Tonight, I was presented with this money and I realized it was from the Lord. I needed that money, but I didn't want to ask for it because I have been asking so much recently. But the Lord allowed my small group to see my need. They saw I needed clothes. They saw I had holes in my shoes. They saw I needed to be shown the Lords love.
I have no doubt in my mind that God exists. Because He does see, He does care, and He will take care of you.
Be at peace and may the Father bless your day tomorrow!
-Father in Heaven, Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit! You are awesome and worthy of all praise! Thank You Lord for loving me. Thank You Lord for being there for me! Thank You Lord for taking care of my sins! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Audience: Hi, John!
Me: And I'm blog owner who doesn't post...
Yep, that's me. I haven't posted very well or not at all during the past few days. I guess, I am trying to get used to the idea that I have a job. A real job. It takes up a lot of my time and when I get home, my mind and body are trashed. I also realized I haven't been getting into the Word very well, nor have I been spending good time with the Lord. All I can count on is His grace and love to let me recover and get order back to my life.
And I also realized I will have to get up earlier in the morning! That will be the only consistant time I will have to spend it with the Lord! I will also spend it exercising. I need to if I want to live and to be a good servant of the Lord.
Today, though, life was great! The work I did was good and I saved the client lots of money. I learned how to write up the numerous forms my new job requires. I was also given $300 today.
One of my small groups realized I was in need. You see, I will not get paid until the 14th and my bank accounts are nearly dry. I knew I wasn't going to make it until then and it would have ment little to no food. I was preparing for this and expecting to loose another 20 lbs- which wouldn't hurt me, but starvation isn't a good way to loose weight. Tonight, I was presented with this money and I realized it was from the Lord. I needed that money, but I didn't want to ask for it because I have been asking so much recently. But the Lord allowed my small group to see my need. They saw I needed clothes. They saw I had holes in my shoes. They saw I needed to be shown the Lords love.
I have no doubt in my mind that God exists. Because He does see, He does care, and He will take care of you.
Be at peace and may the Father bless your day tomorrow!
-Father in Heaven, Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit! You are awesome and worthy of all praise! Thank You Lord for loving me. Thank You Lord for being there for me! Thank You Lord for taking care of my sins! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
He calls His Sheep by Name
In John 10, I read about Jesus conversations with the Jews in the temple. He mentioned a parable about sheep and a Sheepherder. These sheep would know the voice of the Sheepherder and not of anyone else. He also mentioned that unless someone came through the Gate, they are not from the Sheepherder and the Sheepherder always comes to the Gate and the Gate will allow the sheep to leave the pen.
There was a symbolism I had known about, but something clicked today. Jesus is the Gate, and as He has mentioned through-out the Gospels, no one may get to the Father, except through Him. I have known this, but for some alien reason, I wasn't able to make it "click" in my thick noodle of a head.
This angered the Jews and many wanted to stone Him on the spot. Yet, they were curious about Him, was He the promised Messiah? Jesus told and showed them that He was and backed it up with scripture. Yet the Jews were upset that He said He was the Son of God. The Messiah could be anything, but the never realized that He would be the Son of God. It kills me how the human heart has such thick eye lids because God is so much brighter than we give Him credit for.
Have eyes that see, ears that hear, and a heart to feel.
This past weekend, I was involved with a Ministry called Feed the People out of Kansas City, MO. What was different about this time (and I have done it several times), we called 911 for a man that was injured or very ill. We also upset a pimp because we were in his parking spot infront of a shelter, while we were feeding these poor people. I find it hard to understand, but I should realize, I could have been just like him and I am very thankful to the Lord for making me more humble.
Also, pray for the hurting and the seeking tonight. They need your prayers so badly. I just wish I could be more comforting to them.
-My Lord, I want to pray for those who are broken hearted, who are hurting, who feel they are useless. Jesus, help them not to feel this way. Place people, or pets or something into their lives that will show them that there is meaning and purpose to life. If Your will allows it, help them to see You for the loving, merciful, and loving God that You are. Thank You Lord for making my heart open to these lost and seeking souls and I pray for Your awesome power to say and provide the words and things that will help them real You or at least help them recover. Lord, I love You and I ask for Your forgiveness for not giving more of my time to You this weekend. I really wanted to show my gratitude for the job and to say, I love You! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
There was a symbolism I had known about, but something clicked today. Jesus is the Gate, and as He has mentioned through-out the Gospels, no one may get to the Father, except through Him. I have known this, but for some alien reason, I wasn't able to make it "click" in my thick noodle of a head.
This angered the Jews and many wanted to stone Him on the spot. Yet, they were curious about Him, was He the promised Messiah? Jesus told and showed them that He was and backed it up with scripture. Yet the Jews were upset that He said He was the Son of God. The Messiah could be anything, but the never realized that He would be the Son of God. It kills me how the human heart has such thick eye lids because God is so much brighter than we give Him credit for.
Have eyes that see, ears that hear, and a heart to feel.
This past weekend, I was involved with a Ministry called Feed the People out of Kansas City, MO. What was different about this time (and I have done it several times), we called 911 for a man that was injured or very ill. We also upset a pimp because we were in his parking spot infront of a shelter, while we were feeding these poor people. I find it hard to understand, but I should realize, I could have been just like him and I am very thankful to the Lord for making me more humble.
Also, pray for the hurting and the seeking tonight. They need your prayers so badly. I just wish I could be more comforting to them.
-My Lord, I want to pray for those who are broken hearted, who are hurting, who feel they are useless. Jesus, help them not to feel this way. Place people, or pets or something into their lives that will show them that there is meaning and purpose to life. If Your will allows it, help them to see You for the loving, merciful, and loving God that You are. Thank You Lord for making my heart open to these lost and seeking souls and I pray for Your awesome power to say and provide the words and things that will help them real You or at least help them recover. Lord, I love You and I ask for Your forgiveness for not giving more of my time to You this weekend. I really wanted to show my gratitude for the job and to say, I love You! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Friday, March 03, 2006
He is good, so good.
My God is good.
The Lord takes care of me.
He loves me more than I will ever know.
He enjoys me and delights in me.
His joy fills my soul.
My heart screams out to Him, Hosanna!
The Lord is more than rock
He is the whole world and beyond!
The purpose of life is serving His will!
I will do it gladly, for I am His.
The Lord has saved me from ruin.
The Lord has given me a blessing so fine
I can not fathom the totality it all!
I love the Lord because He loves me more!
My first day at work was today and I am very happy! I got a work vehicle to drive from home to work and everywhere else! All I can say is, God is good and this job is from Him!
Why do I know this? I got a call from a school district about a month ago telling me to apply for a position. They liked my experience and really wanted me. So I applied online and ran into problems during submittal of my information. I tried again and it looked like it was accepted. I then left it at that. Today, I got a call from them asking why I didn't apply and I told them what happened. I also told them I has accepted a position with Goetze Dental. I think she was wanting to hire me on the spot until she found out the options I got with this job. Again, it was the Lord in action on this. This job is from Him and I will be perfect for it!
-Lord, I am thankful for the work today and the chance to work! I know I have many things to change in my schedule to deal with this, but I know I will be able to adapt. Thank You so much, because I know You truly care for Your children! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
The Lord takes care of me.
He loves me more than I will ever know.
He enjoys me and delights in me.
His joy fills my soul.
My heart screams out to Him, Hosanna!
The Lord is more than rock
He is the whole world and beyond!
The purpose of life is serving His will!
I will do it gladly, for I am His.
The Lord has saved me from ruin.
The Lord has given me a blessing so fine
I can not fathom the totality it all!
I love the Lord because He loves me more!
My first day at work was today and I am very happy! I got a work vehicle to drive from home to work and everywhere else! All I can say is, God is good and this job is from Him!
Why do I know this? I got a call from a school district about a month ago telling me to apply for a position. They liked my experience and really wanted me. So I applied online and ran into problems during submittal of my information. I tried again and it looked like it was accepted. I then left it at that. Today, I got a call from them asking why I didn't apply and I told them what happened. I also told them I has accepted a position with Goetze Dental. I think she was wanting to hire me on the spot until she found out the options I got with this job. Again, it was the Lord in action on this. This job is from Him and I will be perfect for it!
-Lord, I am thankful for the work today and the chance to work! I know I have many things to change in my schedule to deal with this, but I know I will be able to adapt. Thank You so much, because I know You truly care for Your children! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Busy, part deu
I was at my sister's house again today, but I didn't have the luxury of staying at her house. Also, my church was having a Wednesday night service and I really wanted to go and give praise and thanks to the Lord for the job (barely made it!).
Then I committed myself to the Lord again for a new step in my life, my health. And I lost my ATM/Debit card. Boy, when the pastor said today, being a Christian is hard and the closer you get to the Lord, the harder it gets. It didn't take long for trouble to begin!
Have a great day!
Then I committed myself to the Lord again for a new step in my life, my health. And I lost my ATM/Debit card. Boy, when the pastor said today, being a Christian is hard and the closer you get to the Lord, the harder it gets. It didn't take long for trouble to begin!
Have a great day!
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
A new life.
God has given me a new life today. I feel...excited! Like a new period or era has been opened up. It's like going into a fantastically beautiful house and walking into the most amazing room in the world! I mean, this room holds so much promise! There is no limit to the beauty and there was SO MUCH SPACE! And yes, I am speaking in "!" with these sentences.
I've been exposed to His awesome grace and mercy today too. Nothing can compare what I have been through today! In fact, I barely remember it. This is His day, not mine... nor will any of the others.
I am listening to Barlow Girl, Another Journal Entry, "Never Alone (acoustic version)." This song explains some of what I have been going through over the past several months.
I waited for you today,
I guess you didn't show
No-no
I needed you, today
So where did you go
So I made a call,
Said you be there
And though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you
By my side so
I'll hold tight to
What I know
You're here
And never alone.
And though I can't see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep
Reassurance, yeah
You've placed in my life, oh
We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen.
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you
By my side so
I'll hold tight to
What I know
You're here
And never alone.
As of a couple of days ago, I didn't feel God for a long time. I have experienced my first "face turning". Or in other words, the Lord stopped directly looking at me. He does this to everyone and does it many times in our lives, so that we can have faith in Him and not our feelings of Him. I hope you understand my meaning on this.
I have been reading some great things on some other blogs/journals and I have felt for these people. They have exposed themselves, their hearts, to millions of people. There is nothing to hide, unless they choose to. Because we all have some very private things we don't have to share, unless you are that bold.
Which I have seen some "exceptionally" open people. I won't link to them, because it was a huge mistake on my part to even look. In fact, I had to wipe out my browser cache because of it. There are people out there who truly seek idol worship of themselves.
But, my eyes have read the heart of a person that is truly beautiful. A heart that is seeking something... almost waiting. This heart knows God, very well and isn't afraid of what life throws their way. This heart is on a island and wants to get off, but God has other plans. So they wait. I wonder if God will allow other hearts to visit them? Will the stranded heart even accept visitors? Only the Lord knows and this can only be left up to Him.
Good night everyone and may God bless your day tomorrow with what you need.
I've been exposed to His awesome grace and mercy today too. Nothing can compare what I have been through today! In fact, I barely remember it. This is His day, not mine... nor will any of the others.
I am listening to Barlow Girl, Another Journal Entry, "Never Alone (acoustic version)." This song explains some of what I have been going through over the past several months.
I waited for you today,
I guess you didn't show
No-no
I needed you, today
So where did you go
So I made a call,
Said you be there
And though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you
By my side so
I'll hold tight to
What I know
You're here
And never alone.
And though I can't see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep
Reassurance, yeah
You've placed in my life, oh
We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen.
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you
By my side so
I'll hold tight to
What I know
You're here
And never alone.
As of a couple of days ago, I didn't feel God for a long time. I have experienced my first "face turning". Or in other words, the Lord stopped directly looking at me. He does this to everyone and does it many times in our lives, so that we can have faith in Him and not our feelings of Him. I hope you understand my meaning on this.
I have been reading some great things on some other blogs/journals and I have felt for these people. They have exposed themselves, their hearts, to millions of people. There is nothing to hide, unless they choose to. Because we all have some very private things we don't have to share, unless you are that bold.
Which I have seen some "exceptionally" open people. I won't link to them, because it was a huge mistake on my part to even look. In fact, I had to wipe out my browser cache because of it. There are people out there who truly seek idol worship of themselves.
But, my eyes have read the heart of a person that is truly beautiful. A heart that is seeking something... almost waiting. This heart knows God, very well and isn't afraid of what life throws their way. This heart is on a island and wants to get off, but God has other plans. So they wait. I wonder if God will allow other hearts to visit them? Will the stranded heart even accept visitors? Only the Lord knows and this can only be left up to Him.
Good night everyone and may God bless your day tomorrow with what you need.
I fell on my face.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I now have a job! It's been a long time, very long time. I am a new employee of Goetze Dental's- Technology Division. Compared to previous pay, it is very low, but my expenses are so small now, I have nothing to fear!
Upon getting home, I fell on my face and thanked the Lord! And I cried my head off because of it! There is a God and His name is Jesus/God the Father/Holy Spirit, and without Him, nothing is possible!
May all of you have a blessed day tomorrow! May all of you feel His peace and joy!
I now have a job! It's been a long time, very long time. I am a new employee of Goetze Dental's- Technology Division. Compared to previous pay, it is very low, but my expenses are so small now, I have nothing to fear!
Upon getting home, I fell on my face and thanked the Lord! And I cried my head off because of it! There is a God and His name is Jesus/God the Father/Holy Spirit, and without Him, nothing is possible!
May all of you have a blessed day tomorrow! May all of you feel His peace and joy!
Flexibility
I was reading in Matthew Chapter 12 and I came upon something that just spoke volumes to me about how free we truly are... EVEN BEFORE CHRIST EVER CAME TO THIS EARTH!
Jesus, as some of you know, knew the deal. The Jewish leaders didn't and they had twisted the Law so much, no wonder God was upset with them. In Matt 12:6-8 Jesus says to the Pharisees, "There is far more at stake here than religion. If you had any idea what this Scripture meant- 'I prefer a flexible heart to an infelxible ritual'- you wouldn't be nitpickling like this. The Son of Man is not lackey to the Sabbath; he's in charge." (MSG)
Do you know what this means? And this isn't about the Sabbath, but how many believers have these "inflexible rituals" in their lives? To be sure, I looked it up in my NIV bible to see what scripture Jesus was refrencing: 1 Samuel 15:22,23; Psalm 40:6-8; Isaiah 1:11-17; Jeremiah 7:21-23; Hosea 6:6 {which Jesus directly talks about}). This has been mentioned by the Lord and explained to His people for hundreds of years. Freedom! Yet, they didn't get it. It took God Himself to spell this out, even though it was written by His prophets for years.
We are free to love the Lord with an open heart. Inflexible rituals are not what He wants. It's a relationship, not dogma or religious stiffness. I also was reading the beatitudes and Jesus was pointing out that people are blessed when you can "...show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight." (Matt. 5:9, MSG) That is a desire of mine, if the Lord will let me have it, to show people we are to love one another, not to condemn them for "being an alcoholic, drug addict, or gay." Everyone, and I mean this, everyone is deserving of God's love! Even if they hate Him.
--Dear Lord it breaks my heart to know there are people who claim to love You, yet contain so much hate towards others that "don't fit." You are love, You made us in love, You died for each in love, and You continue to love, reguardless. You also will accept each unconditionally, just as I , and anyone else, accepted You unconditionally. That is the only rule You have for each, in order to have You in their lives. I feel for those that hate You because they are missing out on so much. I feel for those who have been twisted by the minds of men or women that haven't truly discovered the love You want us to share to others. I feel for those that have read about Your love, but have become the seed tossed upon rocky soil, and die quickly when they realize it takes a lot energy to do this. I will not be fake and say it is easy to love the unlovable, it's hard, very hard, but I know You'll give us that energy to feed these people the Living, Loving Water that flows from You! Many months ago, You told me to hand back my spiritual cup... to give me a spiritual bucket. Soon, and You know this, I will need something bigger. Thank You Lord for letting me drink in Your awesome love. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
Jesus, as some of you know, knew the deal. The Jewish leaders didn't and they had twisted the Law so much, no wonder God was upset with them. In Matt 12:6-8 Jesus says to the Pharisees, "There is far more at stake here than religion. If you had any idea what this Scripture meant- 'I prefer a flexible heart to an infelxible ritual'- you wouldn't be nitpickling like this. The Son of Man is not lackey to the Sabbath; he's in charge." (MSG)
Do you know what this means? And this isn't about the Sabbath, but how many believers have these "inflexible rituals" in their lives? To be sure, I looked it up in my NIV bible to see what scripture Jesus was refrencing: 1 Samuel 15:22,23; Psalm 40:6-8; Isaiah 1:11-17; Jeremiah 7:21-23; Hosea 6:6 {which Jesus directly talks about}). This has been mentioned by the Lord and explained to His people for hundreds of years. Freedom! Yet, they didn't get it. It took God Himself to spell this out, even though it was written by His prophets for years.
We are free to love the Lord with an open heart. Inflexible rituals are not what He wants. It's a relationship, not dogma or religious stiffness. I also was reading the beatitudes and Jesus was pointing out that people are blessed when you can "...show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight." (Matt. 5:9, MSG) That is a desire of mine, if the Lord will let me have it, to show people we are to love one another, not to condemn them for "being an alcoholic, drug addict, or gay." Everyone, and I mean this, everyone is deserving of God's love! Even if they hate Him.
--Dear Lord it breaks my heart to know there are people who claim to love You, yet contain so much hate towards others that "don't fit." You are love, You made us in love, You died for each in love, and You continue to love, reguardless. You also will accept each unconditionally, just as I , and anyone else, accepted You unconditionally. That is the only rule You have for each, in order to have You in their lives. I feel for those that hate You because they are missing out on so much. I feel for those who have been twisted by the minds of men or women that haven't truly discovered the love You want us to share to others. I feel for those that have read about Your love, but have become the seed tossed upon rocky soil, and die quickly when they realize it takes a lot energy to do this. I will not be fake and say it is easy to love the unlovable, it's hard, very hard, but I know You'll give us that energy to feed these people the Living, Loving Water that flows from You! Many months ago, You told me to hand back my spiritual cup... to give me a spiritual bucket. Soon, and You know this, I will need something bigger. Thank You Lord for letting me drink in Your awesome love. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
Another interview.
Today, the Lord gave me a gift of another job interview. It is with the same company as before, and this is the final one. Today, I give that interview up to Him. If I don't get it, then I know the Lord has something better. I can do the work and I can be good a fit for this company, but only He knows the path and future I am to have. He is God and He is in control, I have given myself to Him, and He has accepted me.
I just hope I don't get gas during the interview! Oh, what a sense of humor my God has!
I just hope I don't get gas during the interview! Oh, what a sense of humor my God has!
Monday, February 27, 2006
Be Complete.
Today, I was reading a book called "Good Morning God", by Pamela Steinke. It is broken into little paragraphs for each day of the year and they are from her quiet time she had with the Lord and this was what she wrote. This one was dated Feb. 27th.
"Give Me all your concerns. Then do not pick them up again. When you give them to Me, I take them. I do not walk away from your outstretched hand. I take what is in it! I take it for My own and I deal with it. I use miraculous means if I must, but I do deal with it in the best possible way. How foolish for you to take it back again even for a moment. Leave all this with Me. I am your salvation. I am your love, I am your life-I am all to you. Rejoice in My love! Rest in My greatness which is displayed on your behalf. Be complete in Me, for I am your completion. I am all that you seek, all that you hunger and thirst for, all that your spirit cries out to have, all that your soul yearns to possess. I AM."
Again, this isn't from me, but she felt is was from the Lord and wrote it down. I have read this book virtually every morning for the last year and it has changed my life. I don't hold it equal to the bible, but I consider it part of my private time with the Lord. And He has spoken to me through this book. What is interesting is, a woman in the Philippines sent it to me, yet it was first published in the U.S. 15 years ago.
Today, it did help me. I gave the Lord my concerns and what was bothering me and He is keeping them away! I am thankful for a Lord that does love me so much to declare such a paragraph to a woman from Pennsylvania over 15 years ago to help a woman in the Philippines to help a man in Kansas... I just love Him so much because of this and how far reaching His plans truly are!!! He is a God who sees and cares for His children!
"Give Me all your concerns. Then do not pick them up again. When you give them to Me, I take them. I do not walk away from your outstretched hand. I take what is in it! I take it for My own and I deal with it. I use miraculous means if I must, but I do deal with it in the best possible way. How foolish for you to take it back again even for a moment. Leave all this with Me. I am your salvation. I am your love, I am your life-I am all to you. Rejoice in My love! Rest in My greatness which is displayed on your behalf. Be complete in Me, for I am your completion. I am all that you seek, all that you hunger and thirst for, all that your spirit cries out to have, all that your soul yearns to possess. I AM."
Again, this isn't from me, but she felt is was from the Lord and wrote it down. I have read this book virtually every morning for the last year and it has changed my life. I don't hold it equal to the bible, but I consider it part of my private time with the Lord. And He has spoken to me through this book. What is interesting is, a woman in the Philippines sent it to me, yet it was first published in the U.S. 15 years ago.
Today, it did help me. I gave the Lord my concerns and what was bothering me and He is keeping them away! I am thankful for a Lord that does love me so much to declare such a paragraph to a woman from Pennsylvania over 15 years ago to help a woman in the Philippines to help a man in Kansas... I just love Him so much because of this and how far reaching His plans truly are!!! He is a God who sees and cares for His children!
Hallelujah!
--Dear Father, this day, I gave you my concerns, my bothering thoughts. Some of these thoughts I brough upon myself, but You did take them away and you cleared my mind! I will always be Yours and my heart screams out in joy at Your awesome hand in my life. I want to do what you want me to do, and I constantly look for Your guidance and direction. Use me, use me, use. And yeah, I know that is a dangerous thing to pray for, but You know, I am Your man! I was reading in Matt 9:35-38 and I felt Your impressions upon me when I read part of those passages: "...When He looked out over the crowds, His heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd." Lord, I know there are people out there that have never heard of You, never given You a thought, never consider You because of someone else not expressing the Good News to them in a way they can understand. If it isn't me to help others, then I pray I can encourage others to bring people to You! Today, You have me more than I have ever felt! Today, I can FEEL YOU! Thank You Father for turning Your face towards me and looking at me! I haven't felt You in months!!! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!!!!!!!!!
Keeping my promise.
Yesterday, I got a call from my sister and she was needing additional help on her home. I told her I would help this Tuesday and Wednesday.
Today, I got a call from a company I was interviewing with for the past few weeks and they want to see me tomorrow. It wouldn't be so bad, but my sister's new home is an hour away from my apartment and this company is about 35 minutes from me. That is bad, because the gas expense would be too much. I own a truck that consumes buckets of gas a minute, so my concern is justified (hey, God uses it to help people and I am more than happy to do so).
To me, I want to keep my promises! Integrity is VERY important to me. In the past, I had no integrity and dirt had more value than my promises. So I told the company I would call them back because I had made a promise to my sister.
They were very understanding and I hope they see that is a good quality in me. But, I didn't have to worry because my sister was OK with it and the company will see me tomorrow! *Glee!*
Today, I got a call from a company I was interviewing with for the past few weeks and they want to see me tomorrow. It wouldn't be so bad, but my sister's new home is an hour away from my apartment and this company is about 35 minutes from me. That is bad, because the gas expense would be too much. I own a truck that consumes buckets of gas a minute, so my concern is justified (hey, God uses it to help people and I am more than happy to do so).
To me, I want to keep my promises! Integrity is VERY important to me. In the past, I had no integrity and dirt had more value than my promises. So I told the company I would call them back because I had made a promise to my sister.
They were very understanding and I hope they see that is a good quality in me. But, I didn't have to worry because my sister was OK with it and the company will see me tomorrow! *Glee!*
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Am I a geek?
I am 41% Geek.
You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing.
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