This world hates me.

In John 15:18-19 Jesus says, "If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me. If you lived on the world's terms, the world would love you as one of its own. But since I picked you to live on God's terms and no longer on the world's terms, the world is going to hate you." (MSG)

I have decided this world hates me. People talk about how Christians are judgmental and hypocrites, while I have news for them: so are they. I have contacted dating sites to see if someone would just talk with me and no one does, even though they too are wanting to talk to people. I have sent messages to others, not even talking about God and they don't write back. Are they judging me? I think they are.

They must be thinking, "what a bore I must be", or "I bet he is going to push Christ on me." You know, I am not a "push-a-man". It is one thing to share with someone about the Lord, but I don't push. There are so many Christians out there that push Christ, when they should wait and see if those people need Christ. Sure, we should try to save people, but not to the point of pushing them away from Him. Even the Lord knew there are points to a persons acceptance of His Message. Jesus usually talked once about His Message and then let it sink in. I mean, if we want to water a plant, do we pour gallons of water on it to make sure it has enough? No. We pour little amounts of water into it's pot and let it soak and sink in before we add more. That is how we should share the Lord's message.

So what is to become of me and this worldly hatred? As Jesus said in John 15:20, "...Servants don't get better treatment than their masters. If they beat on me, then will certainly beat on you..." The "me" side feels like it's not cut out for this. The "Christ" side says, "Bring it on!" You know, thinking back upon this life I have lived, I can experience a lot more than most people can ever or will ever encounter. My life has been hard, but not super insanely hard. I don't know... I seem to be really calm about the most difficult things in my life and get worked up over burnt toast. I mean, I had gone into a "red rage" once over hot food I had purchased that went cold because I wasn't able to eat it. Yet, I have experienced some pretty difficult problems with a lot more composure.

But (and there always is a "but" with me), I have a God who is shaping me to be something. I don't know what and many times I just try to "be calm" about the whole thing. God wants me.

I had read an email I got from Ephesians Four Ministries talking about God's multiple Joseph's. The man who writes the message has had a very similar life to mine. And these messages seem to speak to me about what to expect from life and what I am to expect in the future and what the Lord expects from me. Sorry to diverge... God's multiple Joseph's exposed part of the Lord's plan to me.
God is raising multiple "Josephs" all over the world. These men are doing the work of the Lord in incredible places with huge success. I feel I am a Joseph and the Lord is shaping me to do some important work in the future. I know the Lord isn't in a hurry, but I do sense a little urgency in things that I didn't or should have done in the past. You see, the Lord is taking me back to a point before my marriage. He is resetting me for His will and purposes. I do know this, life is going to get a lot harder for me and I just pray for the strength and courage to make it through the whole experience.

On another note, two friends of mine are getting married tomorrow. They are both very loving parents and put the Lord first in their lives. They are great people and I pray the Lord will keep the marriage strong and their love for each other burning hot! They also dated in a biblical manner; no sex, little kissing, and very little other "unassuming things" (which most of us wouldn't consider to be sexually driven, but really are). Right now, all I can say is they can hardly wait to be alone... ;)

-Lord, I pray this night is peaceful for my friends who are getting married. I pray that all equipment works tomorrow, all kids are will behaved, and everyone has an enjoyable time. Lord, bless their marriage with joy, peace, passion and love. I also pray for Your awesome courage to continue with this "holding" pattern I am in. If You want me for a modern day Joseph, then us me as Your will desires. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.